


Abstinence

by nately



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cheating, Drama, Drunk Sex, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Homophobic Language, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Slash, Sorry Not Sorry, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Well I'm not really funny so we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-06-02 02:36:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 44,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6547177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nately/pseuds/nately
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex is his sixth sense -- his element.<br/>...Very unfortunate that Kenny's stuck in a bet...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Sixth Sense and Convincing Otherwise"

Sex is his sixth sense -- his element.

...Very unfortunate that Kenny's stuck in a bet...

It happened out of nowhere. Kenny was just chilling out with his best friends Kyle, Cartman, and Stan at Kyle's house. They all decided to hang a day before their third year of high school. 

Kenny, at first, didn't see the point. What's so special about being a Junior? 

But Kenny suppose that it's a big deal to everyone. It's the very last cusp where sneaking out to parties is easy and parents are not yet ready to breath down their child's shoulder about life after high school. So cheers to that.

Nonetheless, Kenny found that the little get together is actually pretty nice. He get to spend all day with the people he liked the most, just pigging out on junk food Cartman brought and playing video games that Stan bought last minute. No parents, no siblings, no responsibility (at least for the day). It's almost like a little unspoken ritual the four teens started ever since they were little. Kenny is glad that nothing has changed their friendship, and most likely nothing ever will.

Apparently, Kenny spoke too soon.

Cartman announced he was done with video games, effectively ending whatever party they had going on. He insisted (more like commanded) on playing some party-type games. After a few moments of pondering, Kyle offered 'Truth or Dare' to the table.

Cartman, of course, is first to protest. Probably just because it's _Kyle_ who said something. Kenny and Stan obviously backs Kyle up, and the fat boy grumbles in submission. 

Kenny doesn't really like truth or dare--unless there were girls involved and enough alcohol to get them all drunk. It made for rather interesting dares. But these are Kenny's friends, even though it's pretty much established that he'd put his dick in anything with a pulse and a hole. 

But Kenny would never fuck his best friends. That's like, bro code number 17. 

"Okay, Kahl. Truth or dare?"

Kyle breathes in.

"...Dare."

Of course Kyle pick dare. Not because he's a daredevil, no. It's because Kenny is about 99% sure Cartman knows about Kyle's crush on Stan. 

They've been best friends ever since the diaper ages, and has been inseperable since. Of course feelings would develop. But goddammit Stan is so fucking dense. Kenny would admit it's kinda cute seeing Kyle trying his hardest to get Stan's attention away from Wendy just to fall short because Stan is such a dumbass. Kenny's sure Stan likes Kyle back, but he's being too much of a fuckboy for Wendy. Seriously, the whole lasting relationship thing wore off ages ago, and everyone and their mother knows that Wendy is just too much for Stan to handle. She's too high maintenance. Not like that's completely a bad thing, but she's also annoying and a hypocritical slut disguised as a 'true' feminist.   

The gleam in Cartman's eye snaps Kenny from his thoughts.

"I dare you to kiss Stan."

As expected. Kenny really did feel bad though. Kyle probably thought he'd get away to avoid answering "do you like Stan" if he'd chosen truth, but the dare isn't so peachy either. Maybe it can seem less awkward since Cartman made the dare?

"Aww dude, really?" Stan whined. His face slowly turned red and he started to shift in his seat on the couch. Kyle turned the same shade.

Cartman smirked and snickered, obviously enjoying the moment too much.

Kenny sighed and just watched passively as Stan fumbled with his jacket zipper and Kyle looking everywhere but at Stan. This seemed to go on forever until Cartman started making mocking kissy faces at the two, trying to speed things up.

"Just..." Kyle starts, but never finishes. Stan seems to get the message though, and they both just looked at each other for a hot minute before leaning in. The couch is an evil bitch, though, and when Stan tries to lean into it for balance, the soft cushion sank Stan even lower, making him stumble into an awkward kiss that even made Kenny flinch.

Cartman didn't seem to mind. In fact, he's rolling all over the floor, cackling on top of a bag of Fritos and almost spilling Kenny's soda. The bastard. 

 "HAHAHA! Dude, that was fucking hilarious!" Cartman manages between gasps as Stan and Kyle both tear away as quickly as humanly possible. 

Kenny can feel himself getting more and more impatient with Cartman. Kenny didn't see anything wrong with what happened. Despite being the most cringy kiss he has ever saw, Kenny actually supports Kyle and Stan's relationship. Hell, he'll ship it all the fucking way. 

Kenny huffs and leans back on the couch, adjusting himself on the hard tile of the floor. "Hurry up, fatass." he says simply.

Immediately, Cartman stops laughing and sits up, ready to counteract the comment--but he just glares and smirk. Shit, Kenny hates being on the recieving end of that devilish glance. He'd rather die, and that's saying something considering his frequent (but almost nonexistent ever since middle school) unexplained deaths. 

"It's your turn, Kinny..." Cartman drawls, malicious intent laces his words. Kenny slowly looks up with puppy eyes at Kyle and Stan, hoping they'd at least try to save him. But the two are too busy avoiding each other's gaze and oddly squirming in their seats, trying to get comfortable again. Kenny sighed. Guess he's going into the crossfire alone.

Wait, no, not without a fight.

"You can't do that. You can't just go twice."

Cartman's smirk melts into a full smile and points to himself, all high and mighty. "Ya huh! I said we should play, so I get to do whatever I want, goddamit! Now...truth...or dare?"

Kyle suddenly perks up and looks ready to say that he was in fact the one who suggested the game, and that going twice is in fact against the rules. However, something must've occured to him, because Kyle shut right the hell up.

"Okay, okay, whatever. Dare."

Kenny wasn't a pussy. Give him a fucking dare. Let Cartman do his worst. Kenny don't give a flying fuck. 

But now Kenny wished he could have been more of a pussy than a cat could ever be. Because he was not prepared for the blow.

"I dare you to never, EVER, fuck again."

Silence.

"But..." Kenny starts, taken aback. "...You can't just give me a dare like that! Why not something I can do right here right now?"

Cartman raises his eyebrows in a 'really, bitch?' tone. Yeah, Kenny figured as much. 

"...Never?" Kenny weakly mumbles, his life crumbling before his very eyes. He knows he's being dramatic, but he couldn't do this. No fucking way. He'll back out right now, he don't care if he's ridiculed and called a--

"Mhm, well, I guess we could compremise..." Cartman contemplates, but Kenny couldn't care less that it sounded more like an elaborate, evil plan than genuine concern for Kenny. 

"...A week. Wait, no...a month."

"A month?"

"A month."

Kenny groans, slouching, not even caring that his back aches from the new and uncomfortable angle. It also seems that Stan and Kyle is finally over their little bitchy fit and tries to cheer the distraught blond boy up with, "Don't worry, Ken. It's not that long..." or, "Dude, you can totally do this."

"...Okay, whatever." Kenny sighs in agreement. He was soooo gonna regret this later. But he just want the game to be over already. "So I just gotta not put my dick in anyone--"

"Uh uhh~ Silly Kinny.There is more to it~" Cartman sings. Kenny mumbles and frowns. Goddammit. He thought he could just get away with porn or something. It probably wouldn't last him a whole month without real vagina, but he could wait it out with magazines and internet if it really meant it.

Then, Cartman starts to list all the things Kenny couldn't do for the month of the bet. He even asked POLITELY for a pen and paper to write it all down.

No fucking.

No masturbation.

And worst of all, no ejaculation PERIOD.

If Kenny could abide by those rules for a full month, thirty one days, he gets fifty bucks from EACH person here. And if he loses, he owes them each thirty bucks. (Kenny let Cartman joke about him being too poor to afford giving them fifty each in a lifetime. Whatever dough boy. Keep laughing, maybe you'll sweat off a couple of pounds.) 

$150 for a month of abstinence? Fucking sweet. That probably sounded pretty cool to the average high schooler, but to Kenny, it was a million dollars.

Okay...so really, Kenny only has kissing to work with, or at least that's all the possible loopholes he could make out of the outlandish situation he found himself in. This month is gonna be some real fuck-shit.

Kenny would've almost just disagreed with the terms, but something hit him.

He is Kenny fucking McCormick. Not some horny sex slave who can't keep it in his pants. Yeah, he takes pride in his reputation that he so rightfully earned, but it's not like it's out of his control. His family are the ones without control. His father can't go a day without ingesting large amounts of beer and wasting away their money. His mother constantly threw her cool out the window to start verbal--and sometimes physical--arguments; a few times for no reason. His brother Kevin practically breathes meth and his sister Karen can't stop worrying about her weight and cutting back on meals. 

THEY were the ones who were out of control and constantly let themselves sink further in obsession. They didn't know when to stop. It's gotten to the point where it hurt others...hurt Kenny, both physically and emotionally. It's hard to see his family crumble under the ground. They practically made their name McCormick into "The dysfunctional family". 

Kenny McCormick, even though he holds the same name, is nothing like his family. He actually has control over his desire and somewhat abnormal infatuation over sex. He knows when to quit it and when to indulge. Somehow, this was more than a bet for the blond. It was a test of endurance. An opportunity to really show how much better Kenny is compared to all the rumors, even if it seems like it's just going to stroke his own ego.

And this bet is all that he needs to reassure himself of that fact.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fanfic. Wow. Never thought I'd see the day. *o*  
> Thank you for reading...and uh...  
> >_>  
> I plan on this being pretty damn long.   
> And why am I doing KennyxClyde? Because they're fuCKING ADORABLE AND THERE'S NOT ENOUGH STORIES OF THESE TWO.  
> Ahem. So there has been other fanfics similar to this one, the whole high school drama shit. That's what this is gonna be.  
> God, help us all.


	2. "Porn Mags and Thinking Just a Bit Too Much"

The first thing Kenny did when he got home was get rid of everything that could cost him the bet.

As much as it pained him, he had to stash his porn magazines somewhere else. The corner of his room had too much exposure. He'd surely find himself bored and have the urge to jerk one off, and Kenny doesn't plan on going out that quick.

Maybe even his laptop? Naw, it's not like it's totally flushed in porn. Besides, he's barely on the dingy device anyways. It's frustrating holding up the screen because it's falling apart. Not to mention that the wifi he's stealing from is shit. Not worth the effort.

That's...actually all Kenny has in his room. Just porn magazines and...oh wait, the walls. They were literally covered in bikini clad women and exposed breasts. He wasn't bashful by his public display of naked women.

You know what, naw. Kenny isn't one of those pathetic guys who gets off just from looking at naked women on his wall. They are pleasing to the eye, but Kenny fawned over each poster long enough. It wouldn't do him any harm to keep them up. Not to mention the posters also serve to cover up the cracks in his wall.

Kenny sits on his springy bed and almost flinch to the loud creak. He kicks off his shoes and lies down, relaxing...

...until he immediately became bored.

Is this really all Kenny can do other than fuck? Just lie down?

He huffs in annoyance. He can't possibly just relax on his bed for the whole month. That'll make free time for Kenny to start thinking. And thinking is bad. It made him think of better things he could be doing.

He has to find a distraction. One that'll cover for him for a long ass time.

But...what? He's too poor to do anything by himself out in the town, so he has to pair up with someone.

Okay well, might as well plan this one out.

He instantly ruled out all the girls in his class. No way. It's pretty obvious they'll all be down for a possible round two or three, and Kenny couldn't provide that right now. How awkward it would be for a girl to start flirting with him, and he had to decline. So out of character, and very embarrassing...

...But not as embarrassing to hang with Kyle, Stan, or Cartman. Yeah, they're his buddies and all, but they're also the ones who knows about the bet. And if they play their cards right, they get some money out of the deal without even having to suffer like Kenny has to. So no doubt the three will try to conspire against Kenny to make him lose the bet. It'd be cheating to force a girl to fuck Kenny, but he's sure they'll tempt him. And Kenny doesn't want to deal with all that bullshit.

So cross all three of them out.

He has to choose someone who doesn't know about the bet, someone he's comfortable hanging out with, but also wouldn't even dare flirting with Kenny or trying to get in his pants.

So that also rules out Timmy, Jimmy, Scott and Kevin. They were pretty cool guys, but Kenny couldn't see himself having a good time with them.

Kenny sighs. _I wish Douchebag was here..._ Kenny thought. If Douchebag never moved back to...wherever the hell he's from...Kenny wouldn't be having this dilemma. Kenny couldn't help but miss him, even though he farted on his balls and caused one of the many deaths of Kenny.

Anyways.

What about Butters? ...No. Not Butters. He's going through some shit right now, and Kenny promised Butters he'd give him space to think. Kenny gave advice to Butters a week ago, and needs time to soak it all in and decide for his own. Kenny refuses to distract Butters from what could be the turning point of his life, but made a mental note to check up on the boy soon.

So that leaves Token, Craig, Clyde, and Tweek. They were basically the polar opposite of Kenny's own group, and never really liked each other to begin with. They're competitive and never broke away from their respective groups.  Kenny almost disregarded them too, just because of the pure distain they might have at the idea of hanging with Kenny, but he couldn't rule out possible buddies. Again, they weren't fond of each other, so that can...somehow...come to be a blessing.

Token. He's straight, right? Yeah...he's dating Nicole. He loves her to death, really the only heterosexual relationship in high school that is consistent and the longest. So Token could be a cool guy to hang with. The only drawback is that he's likely the most loyal out of their group, and may stubbornly reject Kenny just because they don't share the same circle of friends. It's worth a shot, though.

Tweek Tweek. The guy's pretty funny from the few times Kenny's spoken to him. And he still works at that coffee shop with his parents, so maybe getting on his good side could mean free coffee. Kenny isn't really a coffee drinker, but he doesn't turn down free shit. The poor guy is still a nutjob and the novelty kinda wore off, but he's still likely.

Craig? Nope. But oddly, Kenny really likes Craig the most out of the group, mostly because they relate to each other the most. But truthfully, outside of deep conversations and a smoking companion, Kenny couldn't stand the dark cloud that seems to hang over the noirettes head 24/7. Kenny needs someone temporarily permanent, not a constant downer. Cross him off, but another mental note to ask the boy for another pack. He's running low on nicotine.

Clyde...is a big question mark. Kenny doesn't remember, at all, talking to the guy. He remembers making numerous offhanded sexual jokes back then, and Clyde would be the main (and sometimes only) one who laughed at them. But other than that, Kenny knew nothing about him. Not his sexuality, his personality, and whether or not he was a good candidate to spend time with.

So far, it's looking like Token, maybe even Tweek some days, looked like a pretty good plan. But Kenny couldn't get his mind to wander away from Clyde. Kenny thought he knew everyone front and back in South Park. Such a small little town, you'd probably end up knowing everyone's fucking social security number. But not Clyde. Kenny strains to recount anything about the brown haired boy.

Well, wasn't Clyde the one who's mom died on a toilet? Because he couldn't keep the seat down? Kenny remembers the boy being withdrawn enough to make his friends complain about his absence, but as quick as he fell into melancholy, everything was better. Odd.

Kenny also knows how important Craig is to him. It was once rumoured the two had a crush on each other. They probably did, or maybe even still do. But Kenny never believes rumours unless the person in question confirms it. But Kenny couldn't ignore the resemblance between Clyde and Craig to Stan and Kyle.

Hmm...Kenny remembers the list incident...and how much of a dickwad Clyde acted when he was mistakenly put at the very top. Come to find out, in the real list, Clyde's actually ranked 13 out of 16; right above Timmy, Francis, and Cartman, but lower than Kevin and Butters.

Ouch.

There's also the sled competition. Clyde almost joined them down the hill because he's supposedly as fat as Cartman. He always wore that damn red and white letterman jacket, so it's hard to tell his exact physique. Kenny couldn't help but wonder how Clyde looked underneath...

 _Oh god, get your mind out of the gutter, McCormick,_ Kenny inwardly groaned.

Anyways, Kenny couldn't help but want to spend some time with Clyde. To get to know him.

Kenny grins. It felt good to have a plan. Kenny is a very impulsive person, and never plans anything out thoroughly and just lives for the moment. But now, since he has a fairly solid plan to spend his month meeting someone familiar but new excites him. Of course Kenny will also try to hang with Tweek and Token, but Clyde could prove to be interesting.

Now, it's the hard part.

_How would Clyde react?_

Kenny knew how the other two would react. Token would be a dick and eventually warm up a bit, and Tweek'll let Kenny stay. But Clyde? Once again, Kenny is stumped as to what kind of person Clyde is.

Guess he'll just have to find out, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, another boring chapter.
> 
> Told ya the first two'll be nothing but intro. Now we can finally get to the grimy shit. Because the first day of Junior high starts in chapter 3, where all the drama starts ;^)
> 
> Also, we'll finally get to tear away from spectating Kenny. And Clyde will finally make a fucking appearance. :^D
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. "Little Drama and Cheetos"

 

The first day of Junior High and Kenny already wishes he's dead somewhere.

He almost considers it seriously, just stay in Hell for the rest of the month until the bet is over, but he highly doubts his so called friends will let him off the hook. They’ll probably be assholes and add extra days. The fuckers.

But why is Kenny so pissed at his friends?

Oh, only because they hired Butters to keep track of Kenny's actions for the whole month.

Okay, so it may not be a big of a deal. They have to keep tabs on Kenny somehow to make sure they're always updated on the bets progress. And they even chose Butters instead of a girl. But that's the problem. They picked **Butters**. Not only is the boy diligent and thorough, but he's also going through personal shit...that involves Kenny. It's going to be super awkward being around Butters for the whole month. Even though Kyle, Stan and Cartman wouldn't have possible known that that was the case, he's still pissed at them. Kenny needs to be pissed at someone.

Kenny growls as he stuff his notebook and pens in his locker. He's already turning into prissy bitch and it hasn't even been that far in the bet. Like, one fucking night? This is going to be pure hell.

“Shove it any harder and it'll file a restraining order against you.” says a voice to Kenny's right. The last person he wants to talk to…

“What is it, Wendy?”

The noirette smiles and hands Kenny a flyer between her well manicured fingernails. “I'm hosting the Welcome Back party this year. You should come.”

Of course. Heidi hosted their freshman year (which fucking sucked. Kenny and many others left early when she actually suggested to play hopscotch) and Bebe threw last years.

Speaking of Bebe, when's the last time Kenny spoke to her? She's another notch to the post, but Kenny keeps her around. She's more down to earth compared to all the fake girls Kenny knew. He wonders why he hasn't seen the blonde yet.

Kenny takes the flyer and watches Wendy walk away, her black high heels clacking. Kenny rolls his eyes, shuts his locker, and throws the flyer away in the nearest bin and walks toward his homeroom class. Kenny doesn't plan on going, even though he's been to every reunion party since.

He's in a bet right now. And every time he goes to a party, he always either drunk or high enough to fuck a random. Since Kenny doesn't plan on losing anytime soon, he'll stay home and be bored, thank you very much.

Damn. His first morning class is Algebra 2. Kenny doesn't know personally how he keeps passing grades, but he guess that since Kenny use to share classes with 19 year olds in middle school, South Park decided to just pass everyone. Kenny hates math, and math seems to hate him.

Kenny walks in the classroom to see only three people already there. There's a student Kenny never saw before, and oh look, there's Stan, who waves at him to sit beside him. Kenny nods in his general direction, but pause when he sees the third person in the room.

There he is.

Clyde Donovan.

And Kenny frowns. Why is he making this out into a big deal? It's just Clyde. The guy he plans on asking out. Well, not asking out out,but to hang with. A buddy.

Kenny sits to the right of Stan, realizing he's slightly to the right-middle of the classroom. And there's Clyde--sitting two seats up and one to the left of Kenny.

A few people walk in, about fifteen, and about two or three try to rush in as the bell ring. An older lady Kenny never seen before walks in and up to the chalkboard and writes in big cursive letters: MRS. JANIEL.

She turns around and smiles. “Good morning everyone. I am Mrs. Janiel, your Algebra 2 homeroom teacher.”

All she got in response is a cough.

“Okay,” She says, making her way to her desk. She takes out a stack of papers from a drawer. “I have here some ice breakers. I'll give you all fifteen minutes to fill it all out and we'll do an activity together!” And with that, she gives the stack to some random kid and they stand to pass them out.

The whole class groans collectively. This is one of the reasons Kenny hates the first day of school. Teachers always have so way to try and ‘get everyone out of their shells and talk to their classmates in a fun and creative way’, when really no one thinks it's fun. Quite contrary to popular belief, Kenny isn't someone who likes to talk about himself. Yeah, he brags a lot, but he steers the conversation every time someone wants to really get to know Kenny for who he is and all that girly shit girls say.

He looks down at his paper, writes his first and last name at the top, and begins to answer the questions anyway. This'll probably be the only day he'll get an assignment that isn't actual work, so he might as well do it.

‘What is...

Your favorite color?

What is this, a Buzzfeed personality test? Kenny's already over this bullshit, but he writes down blue anyways. People always think his favorite color is orange. Nope. It's such a boring color. Blue is much more cooler.

‘Your favorite hobby?

Kenny smirks, as he is tempted to write, ‘sex’ and then a winky face. It worked past year for his Biology teacher Miss Hampshire (which by the way, has a huge ass), but if this teacher happens to want it too, Kenny couldn't do it. So he just writes something random, like drawing or some shit, because Kenny really doesn't have any hobbies. Does dying count?

The rest of the questions go by in a similar fashion, and Kenny starts talking to Stan idly, just to make the time go by faster. Thankfully, time is up.

“Now, I want to use the rest of the class period to review, so we'll go around the classroom tomorrow," Suddenly, she squinted her eyes and frowned. "Don't try to skip class." Everyone shudders at the unspoken threat. Scary teacher is scary.

Mrs. Janiel starts her lesson for the day, and of course, since it's the first day, everyone is attentive and deathly quiet.

But Kenny has something else in mind. He pulls out his notebook that he's used for two years now (it's good to recycle, Kenny decides) and tears out a page, hoping it just looks like he's getting ready to take notes.

 

‘Can I come over today?'

 

Kenny balls up the paper and sits it at the edge of his desk for a moment. He waits about a minute before tossing it underhand towards Clyde's backpack. It instead hits the side of Clyde's shoe, which gets his attention. No one pays Kenny any mind.

Kenny watches as Clyde opens and smoothes the crumpled note. He writes something, folds it back up, checks if the teacher notice, and discreetly throw it underhand towards Kenny.

‘WHY?’ The tiny uppercased letters says. Good question.

Kenny is almost going to explain seriously, but grins when he realizes that he is in fact Kenneth McCormick. And when has Kenneth been serious?

‘For Netflix and chill’

‘DUDE.’ He even added the period for effect. How nice.

‘Aww. Then how bout some Amazon and Anal?’

‘NO.’

‘Fine fine fine.’ 

‘SERIOUSLY, WHY DO YOU WANNA COME OVER? WE’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS…’

‘I dunno. Maybe for some hulu and handjobs. ;^)’

Clyde stops sending notes after that.   
Kenny has to stifle a laugh, earning him an annoyed glance from some random ugly bitch in front of him.

Kenny knows damn well he can't do anything he teased Clyde with. But he's confident that it was all just teasing and nothing else. Besides, it proved to be hilarious as all hell. The boy is too easily flustered…

...but Kenny doesn't have a definite answer. Shit. Plan backfired. Ah well, he'll ask after class.

As if on cue, the bell rings, and Kenny tries to match his packing up speed with Clyde's, who is going abnormally quick. Clyde starts to almost dash out the room, but Kenny is quicker.

“So?” Kenny urges.

“No.”

Ouch.

“C’mon, I was just joking.” Kenny insists, which makes Clyde stop to stare at Kenny, as if he's trying to look inside Kenny's soul.

All the while Kenny couldn't help but think that Clyde has some pretty eyes. They were cappuccino brown like his hair, but a bit lighter in color and slightly large. They weren't completely still and void of life either. They darted slightly to the left and to the right, reminding Kenny of a fire, always moving and moving quickly. They were piercing, and sent little chills up Kenny's spine.

“I...guess we can chill. Right after school?”

Kenny nods, and Clyde spins around to leave a smiling Kenny.

Today isn't so bad afterall.

\----

Today is the worst day of her life.

It's only been a week since Stan broke up with her, and Wendy is already in hysterics.

All she had to do was pass out flyers for her party.

She should have just made Bebe pass them out.

She couldn't even approach Stan. She tried to avoid him by passing them out to everyone who wasn't Stan. She even past up Craig a few times just because they look alike.

This is outrageous. Wendy is never this weak for someone. She's strong. She's not like the other girls who go crying about being alone and betrayed. Not like Wendy was betrayed--Stan has every reason to break up with her. But that's exactly why she feels so shitty.

Hopefully this party will somehow drown her feelings. Friday couldn't come sooner.

Wendy thought about talking to Bebe. She's her best friend, almost conjoined to the hip. But she's been acting distant and strange for a while. Wendy's too wrapped up in her own little drama she hasn't had the time to talk to Bebe. She know what to do with the situation, she always does.

What would Bebe do? Wendy feels a bit stupid calling forth her best friend in spirit form, but she's falling into pieces right now.

Bebe wouldn't be walking in circles avoiding Stan. She'd go right up to him with a cocky smile and hand him a flyer, as if nothing is bothering her.

Wendy breathes in. She can do this.

She nudges Stan, and he turns around to look at her. God, she misses him. He's right there in front of her, but she fucking misses him.

He's raising an eyebrow now, probably because she's been staring for a while. She opens her mouth, but the gust of air that she breathed in just now left. All her confidence leaving with it.

She quietly hands him a flyer, and shivers when their hands touch slightly. And she turns about face and walks away.

She needs to talk to Bebe.

\---- 

Kenny looks in the mirror. He looks okay...he guess. God, how he wish he had more nicer clothes. Kenny takes pride in his physique, if only he had the clothes to complement it. He isn't so sure his black shirt and washed out blue jeans works. Then again, it kinda brings out his hair...which now that he looks at it, needs a good trim and wash…

Kenny frowns. Is he really worrying about his appearance? He's only going over Clyde's. This is stupid. Kenny huffs out loud, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and walks out the house.

The walk to Clyde's house is a pleasant one, and Kenny already muses the fact that he's going to be doing this a lot. It isn't snowing, but the air still carries that chilling bite, promising very cold months ahead.

After about a half hour walk, Kenny finally arrives at Clyde's doorstep. Kenny stands there, now just realizing that if Clyde doesn't want him over, Kenny would have to walk either another half hour home, or a two to three hour walk to Token's, and even he might not hang with Kenny. Damn, he needs a car.

Three knocks, and the door opens slightly. But it isn't Clyde.

“What?” Clyde's dad voice is as sharp as the cold air.

“Is uh, Clyde home?” The name sound foreign in his mouth.

The older man frown, looks behind him for a moment, and nods to Kenny before swinging the door open.

“Upstairs, first door on the right.” The scruffy man says before disappearing into the kitchen, where another woman stood. Kenny couldn't make out who she was, so he just makes his way upstairs.

Kenny knocks on the door, and he hears something shuffle and then a dull thump. Kenny almost thinks to just open it himself until Clyde opens the door, a half smile on his face.

Kenny smiles back and walks in Clyde's room, curious as to what in the hell just happened. Everything seems in order...kinda. Just maybe a few t-shirts on the ground and shoes where they obviously don't belong. Clyde closes his door and awkwardly kicks his shoes and shirts underneath his bed, blushing.

“S-sorry for the mess. I tried cleaning a bit but you came so early…” Kenny almost laughed at the unintentional dirty joke, but he found Clyde's bashful behaviour too cute.

“Aww, getting it all tidy for little ol’ me?” Kenny jokes, fluttering his eyelashes for more of an effect. Clyde rolls his eyes, but couldn't fight his own small smirk.

“So...what d’you wanna do?”

“I don't know. Thought you knew.”

Clyde pouts. “You said you wanted to hang.”

Okay fine, Kenny’ll give him that.

Well, Kenny definitely doesn't want to leave back out again. He's still chilly and his legs ache. Maybe they could watch a movie? But Kenny doesn't really feel like watching anything. So he sheds his shoes off and climbs on Clyde's bed, said boy following suit.

And they just...sit and talk. At first about nothing in particular, but when Clyde brings in little snacks like Cheetos and Capri Suns, Kenny starts to feel a bit more comfortable, and pretty soon they're laughing together.

“Haha, yeah, and Token wasn't having it. He said, ‘If I have to pay, then all of you better get on the horse right’...” Clyde's impersonation of Token is spot on. “...Tweek had to go on first but he pussied out. Token was too busy texting, Craig is laughing his ass off, and the instructor was trying to flirt with some redhead. Tweek gave up so I took my turn. But I got up on the wrong foot and swung the wrong way and ended up sitting backwards.” Suddenly, Clyde's face distorted to a frown. “The damn horse had no mercy. He started galloping as soon as I sat on him. I had to hold on to a horse's ass to stay on.” And with that the two started laughing again. But Kenny couldn't leave it at that:

“At least you got to reverse cowgirl a horse. Not many can say that.”

A pause.

Kenny thinks he could die from laughing. Clyde isn't doing so good either--he's rolling on his back, crying and laughing.

He couldn't help be notice Clyde's laugh. He sounds good awful, like he's trying to hiccup and choke himself at the same time. The sound of his laugh just makes Kenny laugh harder.

Kenny can't remember how long it's been since he had such a great time with someone. Nothing sexual, no hidden intentions, no lies and no secrets. Just Clyde.

Kenny couldn't help but smile. It fucking hurt his face, but he's too giddy to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...I kinda lied? We did seperate from Kenny for a little bit...but at least Clyde is here...
> 
> ...yay?
> 
> Also had to set up at least SOME drama. We need all that juicy shit (Oh god I'm so sorry. 'juicy' and 'shit' should never be in the same sentence.)
> 
> And I will like to take a moment to thank everyone who is still reading, keeping updated, gave kudos, or left a comment! Really appreciated! And that's coming from this little ol lousy writer. You guys make me cry I swear :')
> 
> YOU ALL DON'T KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. I AM LIKE, WRITING IT RIGHT NOW. 
> 
> All I have to say is, pray for Kenny. I do him wrong. :(


	4. "Making Decisions and Disbelieving Glances"

Clyde agrees to hang out tomorrow after school again, and Kenny walks back home feeling amazing.

He doesn't even mind the finger numbing cold. He's walking the stride of pride and he didn't even have sex. This month will be a fucking piece of cake.

Or so he thought.

As soon as Kenny sees his house in view, a familiar blonde is sitting at his doorstep crying.

He runs over and sits beside her, half hugging her hunched form.

Kenny never sees Bebe like this. Not like she's banned from crying, but Bebe never cries in front of others, let alone on Kenny's doorstep.

He thinks back earlier, at school. She wasn't seen all day. Did she skip? But on the very first day? What happened? And why isn't she with Wendy? Aren't they closer friends than Kenny is?

Kenny has so many questions burning in his throat, but he waits for Bebe to speak.

She looks up at him, her red eyes behind tears. Her cheeks are tinted pink and covered in dry tears. How long has she been crying?

“Kenny, I'm pregnant.”

\----

Butters looks up at his closet again. His clothes. _Boy_ clothes.

He looks at the clothes on his bed. Those clothes. _Girl_ clothes.

Butters sighs and sheds the clothes on his back. He has to go to Kenny's house and check up on him because of some bet the main gang has going on, but Butters isn't completely sure on what to wear.

He remembers what he said to Kenny. And what Kenny told him.

 

_“I don't like boy things.”_

_Butters felt for a moment that he may have done the wrong thing and told Kenny this. He's just staring at him._

_But he's quickly reassure otherwise. Kenny smiles at him._

_“That's okay, Butters. If you don't like boy things, then get girl things.”_

_He haven't even told his family, so how? He's telling_ Kenny _of all people. “What will my parents think?”_

_“Fuck your parents. They don't know shit.”_

_Then…”What do I do?”_

_Kenny hugs him, as if he cares. He does care...doesn't he? Butters is lucky to have a friend like Kenny._

_“Dude, that's for you to decide.”_

 

Butters picks up the cloth and slips it on, smoothing it out and looking at himself in the mirror.

This is the last time he's going to be Butters Stotch, and first time he's going to be Marjorine forever.

She brushes the wig and puts it on. The pigtails are a little uneven. Marjorine can't wait for the day that her hair grows out long enough to replace the wig.

She walks downstairs in flower sandals, her knee length sundress tickling her skin.

It's nothing compared to the chills she feel when she walks past her gaping family. They are stunned, but she continues on out the door before they can yell at her.

This is her identity.

This is her life.

_“Dude, that's for you to decide.”_

This is her decision.

\----

“You going to Wendy's party Friday?” Kyle asks without tearing his eyes away from the screen, digging his dorito in the cheese dip with incredible accuracy.

Stan sighs, rubbing his hair back. “I dunno. You should've seen the way she gave me a flyer. Like she's mad at me…”

“Stan, how many times do I have to tell you--you have to get over her. _You_ broke up with her. She wins if you take her back.”

Stan pouts. “I didn't say I was taking her back.”

Kyle rolls his eyes as he is announced the winner of the first round. “But every time you get like this, you guys are back together. It's about time you move on.”

Stan sighs. “I hate it when you're right.”

Kyle smiles. “I always am.”

They play in silence for the round. When Stan wins that round, Kyle speaks again.

“Do you love her?”

Stan's eyebrows lower in concentration . Does he? He fucking misses her, he knows that much. But as soon as he gets back with Wendy, he feels trapped again. When he's in a relationship with her, he wants out. When they separate, he wants her back.

“...I'm in love with Wendy…but I'm just... _sick_ of being in love with her,” Stan murmurs slowly, before looking at his best friend. “Does that even make sense?”

Kyle stares back.

“Yeah. Yeah it does.”

“...Now kiss.”

The two boys fall over, and Ike laughs.

“Ike, what the fuck, dude?” Kyle sputters, frowning.

Ike just shrugs. “ ‘m bored. Can I play?”

“No. Now go upstairs.”

Ike pouts. “But I don't want to, fag.”

Before Kyle can murder Ike, Stan jumps in. “Here, take my controller.”

Kyle frowns at Stan for the lack of backup, but Stan smiles. “I gotta make a call anyway. Rain check?”

Kyle nods. Ike sits in Stan's seat and the latter boy pulls out his phone and disappears outside.

“I know what you're doing, and no thank you.” Kyle says curtly. This doesn't phase Ike though.

“But you like him so much, it was honestly almost cheesy.” Ike says, choosing his character.

Kyle scoffs. “Like you know anything, twerp.”

Kyle expects Ike to throw another stupid retort, but is surprised at what he gets instead.

“He really likes you too. You know that, right Kyle?”

Kyle doesn't know what to say to that. So he says nothing.

\----

“Kenny, I'm pregnant.”

Bebe has to drag Kenny from climbing on top of his house to leap to his death.

He has to be dreaming. He's not ready to be a father! How did this even happen?? From Kenny's experience from his own father, Kenny will never abandon his future children. But Kenny is too young, and he's damn sure he's not going to be a good enough dad.

But wait, Bebe is saying something.

“--not yours!” He catches the last of her words.

Kenny wants to cry out in relief, but Bebe isn't looking too good. And it'd be selfish of him. So he just nods and sits beside her again.

The blonde wipes her tears and cuddles in Kenny's arms to shield herself from the cold.

“I...I found out two days ago, I didn't get my period and I was vomiting, so I took a pregnancy test my mom keeps in the bathroom. I was so scared. I didn't tell anybody but you--not even my parents or Wendy. I can't just get an abortion because I don't want to...it's _my_ child….oh god, Kenny what am I going to do?”

And now she's bursting into tears again. Kenny starts to rub her arm.

“Do you know whose it is?”

The question has to be asked.

Bebe coughs and shakes her head. “No. But it's not yours. We haven't done it in so long, and I'm just now finding out.”

Kenny takes a glance at Bebe's stomach. It looks normal, so she really is that early in finding out. Kenny doesn't even remember the last time he slept with her. Has it been like, an entire year? They even used protection…

...Which begs the question…

“Did you use protection?”

“...No? I don't know, I was drunk the last time I had sex. It was at Token's house party...and I woke up alone…”

Ah, yeah. Kenny remembers that night. Literally about three weeks ago. Kenny had to drive home so many people that night, he had to take four trips back and forth. Mind you, he got drunk as well during the party, but he died somewhere at the time and resurrected sober. Bebe was one of the people Kenny drove home, but he found her in bed naked and alone in one of Token's guest rooms. The damn culprit just left her there, and Bebe was actually really sad that morning.

Damn, he even remembers there being kids from North Park as well. Anybody can be the father, really.

Kenny hugs her tighter. “Bebe, I'll be here for you, okay? Whatever you choose to do, I'll always back you up. Even if I have to track down the fucker myself.” Bebe needs this support. She skipped out on school and kept this from Wendy because of this. And he fact that she came to Kenny about it only makes him want to reassure her.

Bebe smiles against Kenny's shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet. I still have someone's ass to beat.”

Bebe thankfully laughs and breaks the hug.

She changes the subject. “I was surprised I didn't catch you already home. Where were you?”

Kenny fights back a smile, but fails. “At Clyde's.”

“No seriously, Ken. Where were you?”

Kenny gives Bebe a smirk, and she raises an eyebrow, obviously taken aback.

“Clyde? The Donovan one? Since when did you two start talking?”

“You can't just believe that I visited him out the pure kindness of my heart?”

Bebe punches his arm, and now it's his turn to laugh. But Kenny's not stupid. He's not going to tell Bebe about the bet. Not just because she's a bit of a blabber mouth, but he's not going to tell anyone. This is a bet between him and his friends, and he already have them against him, thank you very much.

Kenny shrugs. “I dunno. Just realized that I know nothing about him, so I figured maybe I could hang with him to start.”

“Wait, you went over there...to hang? Or is that the new slang for sex now?”

Kenny almost chokes on his own spit. And that doesn't feel good with a fizzy drink still sitting in your stomach.

“Uh, no. We literally just sat there telling stories.”

“Kenny McCormick telling stories and just hanging out?” Bebe scoffs at the idea, which almost makes Kenny frown. “Unlikely.”

"Why is that so hard to believe…?”

“It's not hard to believe...it's just that…” Suddenly, Bebe's expression went rigid as she glares at Kenny. “...Don't be leading him on, Ken.”

Kenny gets equally serious. He's not leading anyone on. He isn't even all that interested in Clyde...is he? No, at least not sexually. The boy is really attractive and a very excellent companion. Bebe and Clyde use to date way back in elementary. They broke up sometime in middle school. Does she still care about him? 

Of course she still care. 

But…”Chill, Bebe. It's not even like that. We just started talking, y’know.”

Bebe furrowed her eyebrows, as if she doesn't believe him, but she finally relaxes her face and sighs.

“I'm getting cold.” And she finishes the sentence with an audible shiver.

Kenny gets the message, though. He stands up and bows dramatically. “Welcome to my humble abode, Madame.”

Bebe smiles and stands, playing along with a bow of her own. “Why, thank you, kind gentleman.”

\----

Oh god, what is he going to do? Marjorine knots her fists together. Should she come back at another time? Oh crap, how did she get in this mess?

Well, she's not really in the mess. All she did was...eavesdrop…

Marjorine isn't known for keeping secrets. She gets too flustered, especially when someone interrogates her. With her luck, she just knows someone's going to ask her about Bebe and her...situation. Jeez, why did she have to walk into her and Kenny's conversation? Why her of all people?

Marjorine fiddles with her skirt. No, she can't just go home now. She's here because she was asked to. By her friends. And no matter what, she doesn't let her friends down.

Marjorine sucks in a breath, straightens her back, and emerges from the side of Kenny's house. She can do this. It won't be too awkward. It's just Bebe. Just act casual, like she doesn't know Bebe is pregnant.

Marjorine makes her way to Kenny's door…

...but her phone rings, and it makes all the confidence in her jump out.

“H-hello?” She hopes she doesn't sound too anxious.

“Hey, Butters.”

“O-oh, hey Stan. How's it goin’...”

A pause. Marjorine is sweating now.

“....Butters, you good?”

“Huh? Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine.” As fine one would be in the situation.

“Why do you sound pitched?”

Oh. That. Thank God Stan's too dense to notice her stumbling. “M-must be my phone.”

Marjorine could almost see Stan's shrug. “Oh...okay. Anyway, did you meet up with Kenny yet?”

“I was just about to do that. Just in case, all I have to do is make sure he didn't...er…”

“...Come? It's okay, Butters. Don't have to be so bashful.”

Marjorine felt heat rise to her cheeks. “Yeah, that.”

“Uh huh. And then report back to me, Cartman, or Kyle, ‘kay? And don't tell anybody you're doing this, got it?”

Marjorine nods, but says yeah out loud when she realizes he can't see her.

“Cool. Alright, catch you later.” And he hangs up.

Make that two secrets now. Marjorine can handle this.

No she can't.

\----

“Did you two bang or something?”

“Why would you say that??”

Craig shrugs and brings the cigarette to his lips. “Well, I mean, it's _McCormick_  we're talking about. He'll shag anything.”

Craig watches as Clyde sweeps under his kitchen table with the broom. “No he won't. And we didn't do anything except talk. He's really chill.”

Craig raises an eyebrow. “ ‘He's really chill’? The fuck? Did he fuck all your brains and common sense out or are you lying to me?”

Clyde throws Craig a nasty glare, but the black haired boy just flips him off.

“So, if you two really did just...talk...what'd you talk about?”

Clyde looks up, shrugs, and leans against the broom. “Just random shit. Stories and stuff.”

Craig frowns, his default expression really. “I don't even care anymore.”

“Why, are you jealous?”

“No.”

Clyde grins. “No one replaces you, Craig. You're my best friend, and my only best friend.”

“Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much already started and only two days in the bet! Oh the horror!  
> Dramatic me aside, I really hope I can focus more on Kenny and Clyde the next chapter. This chapter exists mostly to introduce a lot of the plot. Sorry if it seems rushed in only 2,000 words! Buts that's just how I write--quick.
> 
> And I think I lied last chapter (again). Kenny isn't the only one having a hard time. Sorry Bebe! I loves you! But good for Butters. Kenny is such a good friend in this chapter, don't you agree?
> 
> But DON'T WORRY. I'm NOT gonna lie this time. Next chapter we get some unresolved sexual tension. ;)
> 
> Love you all, and thank you for sticking by me for this long! :)


	5. "Miniskirts and Twinkies"

Kenny is starting to wonder why everyone is just now gravitating towards him.

He thinks it's all because of the bet.

Butters...well, Majorine...came over to check up on Kenny. After letting him-- _her_ search his clothes and bed, Majorine confirmed he hadn't done anything yet, and she timidly spoke to Bebe for a while and left. Bebe got annoying, though, and kept trying to interrogate Kenny on why Butters was a girl now and why she checked Kenny's underwear. Kenny tells her the bare minimum of his and Butters little talk, but successfully steers clear of the second question.

Bebe must've noticed all her questions wasn't answered, but she thankfully left it alone and after they idly talk about random topics she leaves. Bebe even promised she'll attend school tomorrow.

Kenny tried to get her to promise him she'll also talk to Wendy, but all she did was freeze up and smoothly avoided the proposition. Something must've happened between the two, but Kenny didn't feel that it's his place to pry. So he left it alone and went to bed.

\----

Kenny wakes up to someone shaking him.

He groans. “G’morning, Kar.”

The brown haired girl huffs. “Geddup. Or you'll be late.”

“How was the slumber party?”

Karen smiles. “Fun.” She says simply and skips out the room and giggles as if she has a secret Kenny doesn't know about. Kenny shakes his head in amusement. _Girl slumber parties_. 

Karen likes to spend the night over Ruby's house, Craig's little sister, ever since Kenny and Craig started hanging out together (Well, more like smoking together. But it's basically the same thing in Kenny's perspective). Karen stayed over at Ruby's for a good solid week. Kenny will admit, he kinda misses his little sister when she spends time with other people, but he understands. She's in middle school, almost in high school soon. He can't be her only friend forever. The whole Mysterion thing died down a few years ago when Karen figured out it was Kenny all along.

Even though Kenny still feels just a tad bit distant from his sister, he still loves his sister.

But he wish she hadn't gone in his room today.

Why?

Kenny looks down. Hopefully she didn’t notice his morning wood. He knows she's old enough to know what's up, but it's still embarrassing. And frustrating that he can't exactly ‘fix it’.

Kenny rubs his eyes and practically crawls to his closet, trying everything in his power to ignore his boner. God, now that its got his full attention, his crotch feels like its on fire. He thought his adolescent teen days were over and he was done with the awkward random and morning boners.

 _It's all because of this bet..._ he can't help but think. He doesn't exactly remember all the details from his dream last night, but he's sure it was about an old encounter with a girl from North Park. Forgot her name, but she had the spring break titties.  

 

Kenny yanks out a black plaid button up shirt, a grey collar shirt, and the same black jeans from yesterday and slip them all on. He is fucking tired. Yesterday was a rollercoaster, and Kenny can already sense the impending bullshit storm heading it's way.

It's a Thursday, and Wendy's party is...isn't it Friday? Or maybe Saturday? Regardless, Kenny is still uncertain on whether he's attending. It's in his best interest NOT to.

Maybe Clyde would want to ditch attending the party with Kenny as well? It seems like a lot to ask, and Kenny's sure Clyde's planning to attend the party. Kenny makes a mental note to ask as he heads out the door to school.

\----

Kenny's grateful his boner dissipates due to the harsh cold. Goddamn, he never knew he'd actually thank the terrible weather of South Park.

But really, all throughout the day Kenny can't wait until after school when he can visit Clyde again.

The previous day was surprisingly pretty cool, and he expects today to be no different. Maybe even more awesome.

And it can once again tear Kenny from his wandering thoughts. Like when he started staring at the back of of a blonde girls’ head and before he knew it, he was undressing her with his eyes.

He looks away of course, to put a stop to the growing heat in his abdomen, but his fucking imagination actually has the balls to betray Kenny and decided that during a science class was the perfect time to imagine a very naked science teacher bouncing her ass rhythmicallt on top of Kenny's bare lap. Damn her for wearing that fucking pleated skirt. She's a teacher--an ADULT. Doesn't she know she looks like a damn whore dressing like that?

Kenny's too frustrated and tense to think about his future plans with Clyde anymore. Usually, when Kenny gets this heated, he just excuses himself to the bathroom for an quick jerk off. But he can't do that. So he just sits there, folding his legs and squeezing the life out of his half hard erection.

Damn it all to hell, he needs a change of wardrobe. Yeah, the bet is only a month long, but if he wants to stay fucking alive for the thirty days, he has GOT to stop wearing these skinny jeans. Not only are they tight enough the generate more heat and restrict him from sitting in creative ways to hide his growing tent, but they are just that--TIGHT. His dick just might saw itself in half from the inside of the zipper alone. It fucking grated against his dick and pinched all in the wrong places, causing him to wince and hold back whines every time he has to get up to change classes or move in the slightest.

Two and a half days in the bet and Kenny is already a mess.

At least he got to talk to Clyde some more first period, his only class with the brunette. He wishes they had more periods together, because all throughout math class was just the two of them passing notes.

Which was just Kenny throwing every sexual joke he had in his arsenal and Clyde adorably getting all flustered. But Kenny also learned a bit about Clyde. For instance, Kenny never knew Clyde can't cook. Clyde strikes Kenny the feminine type of guy, despite his well hidden crudeness, and cooking seemed like a little cute hobby the boy might’ve had.

But in fact, according to Clyde, he either burn food or under cook it. The only thing Clyde can make is PB&J and cereal apparently.

_‘_ One of these days, you gotta cook me a fine dinner, babe ;)’ 

‘I'LL PISS IN YOUR CEREAL IF YOU CALL ME BABE AGAIN.’

Kenny remember trying to hold in a laugh. God, that kid is amazing. Crazy thing is, he's just now learning this after years of knowing he exists.

It's time to make all of the lost time up, Kenny decides.

\----

“Sooo...you've been passing a lot of notes during class.”

Kenny spares Stan a glance before turning back to the small meal Kyle packed for him. “Mhm.” He mumbles simply. His lower stomach still aches, but at least his fourth hour English teacher is hideous enough that his boner went softer than a pillow.

“Passing notes?” The jew piques, interested.

Cartman snorts and picks up his sloppy joe. “ ‘Parently Kenny's back in the fourth grade.”

“Who did you talk to?” Kyle asks, ignoring Cartman.

“Clyde.”

Again, there goes the disbelieving glances. Jeez, is there ANYONE in existence who doesn't find Kenny and Clyde's developing friendship strange?

“Clyde? As in…”

“Donovan. Clyde Donovan.”

Stan and Kyle share a lingering glance before they just completely drop the subject and go back to eating. “Oh.” Kyle says dismissively, but Kenny is having none of it.

“What?”

A pause. A suspicious pause.

“Nothing, Ken.” Kyle mutters before he takes a rather long sip of his orange juice.

...Okay?? That was weird.

Kenny plans to talk to his friends. They've been acting...weird...and he has a feeling that it has nothing to do with him and Clyde.

Kenny even almost finds relief that at least Cartman is the same old Cartman: “Don't worry about it, Kinny. Everyone's on their fucking period this year is all.”

\----

“Hey.”

“Yo,” Clyde greets, and Kenny can't help but laugh. “What's so funny?” Clyde's deadpan voice giving away his irritation.

Kenny stops laughing and smirks. “You're so corny, it's amazing.”

Clyde playfully punches Kenny's shoulder but let's Kenny inside his home nonetheless. “Whatever.”

Kenny retraces his steps and ends up in Clyde's room again.

He sits on the brunette's bed, not at all modest that he's even sitting on his bed in the first place. He needs some type of comfort after today's nightmare. At least his crotch cooled off rather nicely with the long cold walk outside it took to get to Clyde's house after school.

Clyde sits right along with Kenny and they instantly start talking.

Since Clyde was giving stories out yesterday, Kenny has a few to share.

"...Oh, and she was a fucking beast in bed. She was freaky as all hell. It was kinda strange at first when she told me about her rape fetish. But I went along with it anyway."

Clyde smirks at this. "You'll do anything to get your dick wet."

Kenny winks and continues his story.

"She wanted to be dominated. To be choked and fucked hard. So I happily pounded her into the wall."

Clyde laughs. "Good to know you practice good manners, Kenny."

"I know. I'm kind and caring like that." Kenny pauses to laugh. "But I ended up stopping, though. She just started screaming, 'Help! He's raping me! Help!'. I though I actually raped someone. But she was all confused. She even dared to ask, 'Why'd you stop?'"

"Note to self: Steer clear of crazy."

"Exactly. I didn't keep going, I couldn't. So I just sent her back home."

"In the cold?? Savage!" Clyde exclaims.

"Mhmhmm. So, what about you? Got something embarrassing?" Kenny probes.

Clyde shrugs but after a second blushes. Kenny never really noticed it before...but Clyde's blush is kinda cute. It starts right at the bridge if his nose, and slowly spreads outward to his cheeks. Kenny decides not to fight back the smile that creeps on his face.

"Well, I remember one time I was so sexually frustrated I started putting my dick in everything." And then suddenly Clyde stops and face palms, now Kenny's curiosity rises.

Clyde sighs and continues. "I once tried to jerk off with a bottle cap."

Kenny finds himself staring at the ceiling, his head already blistering from his laughter.

Kenny feels slaps on his leg. "Quit laughing at me, you doof."

Kenny finally calms down and just HAS to ask, "What else did you stick your dick in?"

"I tried jewelry, a flip flop, and a hat."

"Hey wait, the flip flop is actually kinda...genius"

"Huh?"

"Y'know. Just put your dick on the underside of the shoe. It has those grail indents down there. Rub it against it a boom."

Clyde actually rests his thumb and index finger on his chin as if to consider this seriously. "Huh. Interesting."

The two sit in silence for a small beat before they burst into another fit of laughter. Seriously, Kenny could suffocate and die from all the laughing he's been doing the past two days. But it's too much fun really. And it makes Kenny feel a good type of odd that he can just talk this explicitly with Clyde. He doesn't even talk this way with his small group of friends, let alone anybody else. Kenny only just blurt sexually shit out loud sometimes. But to talk one on one? It felt nice to let it all out.

And Clyde is just as crude as Kenny. Which makes it even better and more welcoming.

Kenny even got to forget about his earlier boner problems. It seems so insignificant now. Kenny made it through the day, even though it was tough. But he'll get through it. It wasn't even really that serious like Kenny made it out to be earlier. Just a slight mishap.

After a few more stories, Clyde lifts his backpack. “Homework? Then maybe Shakey's?”

Kenny almost felt insulted. Clyde basically just insinuated that Kenny doesn't do homework. Well, he does...when he feels like it.

Crap, and they did indeed recieve their first assignment for their math class. Just two pages of problem solving shit. And since Kenny came straight from school to Clyde's, and in result has his backpack with him, he guess he can do his homework here. Might as well.

Besides. Clyde suggested Shakey's. That also means he'll pay. Sweet.

Kenny nods and grabs his backpack, fishing through his messy content before the two find their homework and decide to sit on the floor, where Clyde pulls out his toy box (the corners of Kenny's mouth twitch when he sees that Clyde still has a toy box. Hilarious.) and the two use the low and sturdy surface to write on.

Before Clyde even sets pencil to paper, he murmurs “Hold on.” Before getting up and leaving the room.

Clyde comes back upstairs with four Twinkies and two water bottles. He toss two Twinkies and a bottle of water to Kenny and they sit on the floor opposite of Kenny and goes back to his paper.

Kenny happily opens his first Twinkie wrapper and takes a bite. Yum. Kenny hasn't had the creme filled pastry in so long. Cartman gets them all the time, but he never shares. Kenny almost misses the sugary and spongy taste.

Kenny hears Clyde opening up his own treat, and Kenny unconsciously watches him bite off a small part, and--

..Is Clyde sucking the creme out??

Oh yes he is. Clyde's small lips are wrapped around the phallic shaped treat sucking the white creme.

And he's making noises. Small little slurping sounds and goddammit is he moaning??   
Kenny must've been staring too long, because Clyde looks up and frowns. Just when Kenny thinks he's been caught...

"Yeah, I know. It's weird how I eat these. But they're good. Sue me.”

Kenny sucks in a breath and forces himself to nod and look at his assignment.

He’s still sucking off that fucking Twinkie.

And it's worse, now that Kenny isn't looking. His sense of hearing is heightened. And all he can see and hear are math equations and Clyde's moaning.

Kenny feels a familiar hot sensation in his lap, and that's when Kenny starts to panic.

No. He is _not_ getting an erection here. Not now. He's fine with getting a hard on because of a random blonde at school. Hell, he'll even take and keep the painful morning wood. But not Clyde and a fucking Twinkie.

Kenny decides that looking away is as dangerous as looking at Clyde, so his eyes slowly rise, and thankfully Clyde's too busy writing on his paper. He's engrossed in his work, and Kenny should be too goddammit. but the Twinkie blowjob lives on.

Kenny has to do something about his growing problem. He's sitting cross legged, and his erection is standing high and tall, slowly pointing at Clyde saying, _‘I wanna fuck that one!’_   
Kenny mentally scolds his dick (Bad! Bad cock!) and shifts to sit on his knees. Maybe if he leans forward in this seated position, his boner won't be noticeable? But damn does this feel uncomfortable. His whole body is hot now, and his fingers are getting that pins and needles sensation. Kenny wants to at _least_ rock his hips or fucking _grind_ against something.

Suddenly, the slurping noises stop. Kenny is just about to thank the gods for having mercy on him when Clyde runs out of filling and bites down on the Twinkie. Yes, focus on the biting. Nothing sexy nor arousing about biting.   
But as Clyde bites the treat he closes his eyes and a rather loud groan escapes his lips and it travels straight to Kenny's dick.

Kenny is two seconds away from shoving Clyde down and over his dick. So he can free his cock and force those brown curls down to work that tongue like Clyde's doing to that damn lucky Twinkie.   
Shit, is Kenny jealous of a Twinkie? Forget it. He doesn't care anymore. All he wants is some relief. To come.

But again, _he can't_.

Kenny let's out a frustrated groan and Clyde looks up, pausing his ministrations on the pastry.

“You good?”

“Uh--”

_\--No, I’m not good. I’m imagining you face fucking my cock and now I’m turned on but I can't jerk off. But other than that--_

"--I'm fine. Just...stuck on this problem…”

Clyde "Ohh"’s in understatement and fuck, is he really scooting closer?

Clyde is almost shoulder to shoulder with Kenny, which makes him lean a bit more forward subconsciously.

Now that Clyde's closer, Kenny can see in detail his pretty little pink mouth. It's slightly open, a wet tongue darting out and swiping his lower lip before disappearing into that small cavern Kenny oh so desperately wants to shove his prick in and thrust. He'll get to hear those moans again, wrapped around his cock creating delicious vibrations down his sex.

God, he hopes Clyde can't feel Kenny rough and shallow breathing.

“Number four, right? I'm stuck on that one, too. Maybe you gotta carry the nine? No, that won’t work…”

Kenny tried, but he's not listening anymore. His pants are too tight and hot and his tongue is dry. And now he's starting to sweat at the close proximity. The images of his cock disappearing into Clyde's wet little mouth...Kenny shudders, a cold knot running down his skin and his dick twitch at the sensation.

When Clyde finally finishes talking about whatever-the-hell math problem he asked for, Kenny nods a bit too quickly, Clyde scoots back to his original spot and now Kenny can breathe again.

Kenny's been to hell and back again.

But this right here?

This is pure damnation.

Clyde unwraps another Twinkie--shit, he forgot there were two of those cursed little shits--and repeats the process; Bite a small piece, suck it off, and bit it again. Kenny could see the way Clyde's cheeks deflate that he's really sucking har--

Tongue.

He's using tongue.

Kenny can see it. Clyde's tongue darts right out and below the snack cake and it swipes slowly under, leaving a glistening trail of saliva.

Welp, that's it for Kenny. Bury him at his grave.

This is unorthodox. What if they were in public, huh?? Clyde, please, stop giving your snacks blowjobs for the sake of Kenny's sanity!

It's taking everything... ** _EVERYTHING_**...in his power to not touch his dick and stroke right then and there. It's tingly and scorching hot down his pants. And all Kenny can do is pray he doesn't blow a load...or blow his dick up with the insane friction and heat.

When Clyde thankfully finishes off the last of his Twinkie, Kenny can feel his body release a bit of tension and his death grip on his pencil ease (when had he picked it up again? What was he even doing beforehand?).

Clyde looks up and raises an eyebrow. “You barely started on your Twinkies, Kenny.”

 _Oh Lord he said his_ _name_.

Kenny groans and lowers his head to brings his thighs closer together, hoping to choke his dick to death. 

“I…” Kenny grunts out, his voice raspy and deep. And all it took was Clyde and two Twinkies. "...I think my stomach (dick) just hurts...no biggie.”

Kenny can feel Clyde's frown burn a hole in his head.

“So no Shakey's today?” Kenny can't see Clyde, but he sounds sad, downright disappointed. Kenny almost deflates and gives in, but he literally can't move. He physically just _can't_ right now.

So Kenny shakes his head. "Maybe tomorrow?”

Clyde sighs and Kenny sense him stand up.

"Well, I'm still hungry anyway. I'm gonna go get some more Twinkies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION BEGINS. MWAH HAHA //cough.
> 
> I'm such a bitch to Kenny. ;^)  
> This chapter gave me a slight headache. It's why it wasn't posted yesterday or the day before, so sorry for the week long wait! I just keep going back and changing things. I'm not use to going slow with things and I had to let SOMETHING out. >_>  
> Consider me a virgin with a lot of pent up energy.  
> Also, I dare you to Google Image "spring break titties". It's Kenny approved. (Oh god nevermind. It's literally topless women.)
> 
> Love you all! You guys who read, leave kudos, comment, or subscribe are the literal reason why this is so much fun! And it's only gonna get more fun in the future. :^)


	6. Talking Shit and Planning For Disaster

"Kenny's in a bet."

Wendy stops reading her magazine and leans back to look at her friend. "...Huh?"

Bebe smiles and takes another lock of Wendy's hair, curling it with the curling irons. "Kenny's in a bet. He can't have sex for a month."

Wendy raises and eyebrow and looks back down at the booklet. "...Okay? That has nothing to do with Stan." And it was true. After they made up and started doing each other's hair to serve as apology for Bebe ignoring Wendy, they've been talking about how much Wendy misses her ex.

Still...Wendy is glad the two aren't pretending the other doesn't exist anymore, the two instantly went back to their best friend routine. It was reassuring to Wendy, about their relationship, but here goes the topic of Kenny, someone Wendy doesn't feel like talking about.

"A little birdie told me."

Wendy huffs. "Then why are you telling me?"

"Because that little birdie wanted me to."

 _Oh_. Now THIS is interesting. Someone wants Wendy to know about a bet involving Kenny? Any other time, Wendy wouldn't care and leave it at that. But Bebe wasn't spilling _who_ wants her to know. It could be anyone. It could be...Stan. And Wendy has no doubt that Stan knows about Kenny being in a bet. Hell, he's probably apart of it.

And another thing to consider. Kenny is amongst the group of friends that convinced Stan to break up with Wendy. Wendy knows Kenny doesn't favor her, and she doesn't favor him. The feelings are mutal.

Before Wendy can jump to conclusions, she wants to hear what Bebe has to say. "Who is this little birdie?" She tries to keep the curiosity out of her voice.

Bebe giggles and embraces Wendy's head, facing her to look ahead. "The little birdie doesn't want you to know that."

Bebe catches Wendy's pout, so she adds:

"The little birdie is afraid to tell you personally."

Bebe still didn't specify any pronouns, so this little birdie still could be anyone. But the birdie being Stan is too likely for Wendy to pass up. What if...Stan really wants her back? Is this his way of saying...something? What's with all the anonymity? Does he...

Wendy turns back around to face Bebe, ignoring the blondes protests. "When was the last time you spoke to Kenny?"

Bebe sighs and unplugs the curling irons. "Yesterday. About personal shit."

Wendy wants to ask about this 'personal shit', but the guarded look on her best friends' face prevents her. It almost makes her jealous that Bebe went to Kenny before her. But the two blondes shared a bed once upon a time, and the 'personal shit' may be too big for Wendy's usual blunt and loud solution. Kenny doesn't blow things out of proportion, Wendy'll give the asshole that.

But goddamit, it seems like Bebe always goes to Kenny now.

So Wendy tried a different angle. "So you two just talked? About the bet or something?"

"No. I only just heard about it this morning. I didn't know at the time when Majorine checked his shit."

Wait...

"Majorine? As in, slumber party Majorine?" Wendy remembers the blonde girl from way back in elementary. She just disappeared halfway during Heidi's party. Majorine was fun though.

"Yeah. You didn't hear? It's Butters."

_...what..._

"Butters is Majorine..." Wendy dumbly recites, and Bebe nods with a knowing smile. "Majorine...is Butters..."

"Yes, Sherlock. Didn't you notice 'Butters' didn't attend school today?"

Wendy doesn't have any classes with Butters, but would usually see him hanging with either Stan's or Craig's group.  Even if she did see Majorine, Wendy was too busy making back up with Bebe.

This is just all so surreal...the girl they hung out with during a girls' slumber party is actually BUTTERS?

"Crazy..." Wendy whispers. "...So what was Butters... _Majorine_ doing at Kenny's?"

Bebe shrugs. "I dunno. She just came, checked his clothes, talked to me, and left. She was really freaked out about something though. She was all jittery when she spoke and left pretty quickly. I asked Ken about it, but you know how secretive he is. He barely told me anything, just saying how he had a talk with Butters about his dilemma...whatever that is."

Wendy frowns. Well that wasn't much at all. Weird how suddenly there are a million secrets between the two. And Butters...well, Majorine coming over Kenny's place to check his clothes...

...or...

Wendy's eyes grew large at the thought.

"...What if they're having sex?"

Bebe almost chokes on her own spit. "N-no way! He's in a BET against sex, remember? Why would Kenny try to sneak arou--" and she stops, realization dawning on her.  
  
Wendy keeps going. "We're talking about Kenny. South Parks notorious slut. Him against sex? Unlikely. Almost impossible. What if Kenny's fucking Butters on the side?" The last part comes out as a whisper, as if the mere idea is too much to handle.

But Bebe isn't having it. She frowns. "Wendy. Kenny may not be your friend, but he is MY friend. So don't call him a slut. Not around me." Bebe takes in a breath. "And yeah, that maybe the case, but Butters wasn't like that and Majorine isn't like that now. She's too sweet..." Bebe carries out, grabbing a brush to smooth out Wendy's heated hair.

"And use to have a crush on Kenny." Wendy points out. And it was so. The poor hello kitty loving kid was hook line and sinker for Kenny.

"That was back then. In _elementary_. Doesn't make sense he'd still have a crush on Kenny. No doubt he still care for Kenny. But romantically? Not anymore."

Wendy grinds her teeth together. Yeah, the two are best friends, but Wendy hates it when Bebe talk as if she knows more. Like she tries to one up Wendy all the time.

It irks her.

And every time this happens she has to bite back from yelling at her best friend.

If her friend wants to act that way, then fine. She'll bite back. "Bebe, are you actually jealous of Majorine?"

Bebe says nothing. It actually almost scares Wendy. But it doesn't stop her. Bebe started it, so Wendy's finishing it.  
"It makes sense. You and Kenny use to be a thing back then. But that didn't work out, huh? You still like him? Have feelings for him?"

By this time, Bebe's not doing Wendy's hair anymore. "Wendy. You don't even know what you're talking about. Kenny's my friend. Yeah we use to...back then. But this is now. I don't care if Majorine is seeing Kenny." Bebe points the brush at Wendy's face.

"You're jumping too far into conclusions again. Maybe if you weren't so nosey and actually have all the fucking facts, maybe you wouldn't be so pissy."

There it goes again. She's making Wendy seem as if she's stupid again.

"Look who's fucking talking! Maybe if you TOLD me all the facts like a best friend would," Bebe cringes at the last part. Wendy doesn't care. "I wouldn't be jumping to conclusions. If you'd just TALK to me, I'd have a reason to listen!"

"I don't talk to you anymore because I know you'll act this way!" Bebe throws back. The two are raising their voices, and it won't be long before one of Wendy's parents comes in concerned.

But Wendy isn't so sure her parents could get her to shut up even if they tried. Her mouth is a loose canon now. Her jaw unhinged from the boiling pent up anger. She doesn't know yet if she regrets taking it all out on Bebe, but she'll assess that later. Right now, she wants to hurt Bebe. Hurt Bebe with words. "And you call yourself my best friend. What a fucking joke, Bebe. Why don't you go back to Kenny, huh? You're already in love with the slut. I bet you're gonna go crying to him and let him fuck you afterwards. Slut attract other sluts."

And at that, Bebe slams the brush she was holding on Wendy's dresser, the hair utensil cracking under the force. Wendy dares to look up at her best friends face and expects to see anger. But to her surprise, all she sees are eyes blinking back tears.

"What's gotten into you, Wendy?? You...don't know anything..." Bebe mutters, her chest heaving to keep her emotions under control. It doesn't work.

"Exactly. Because you keep hiding from me." Wendy says, much softer now.

"We tell each other everything."

"And I don't plan on telling you shit." The emphasis only brings more tears, and Bebe turns to walk out the room.  
Before Wendy could even form any type of apology, Bebe has one last thing to say.

"Fuck you, Wendy." And the door slams.

There's a lump in Wendy's throat but she doesn't bother to address it.

She's angry.

She's sad.

She's lonely.

She's fucking confused.

She's missing something. Something that Bebe won't tell her. Something big but Bebe refuses to tell her own best friend.

But Bebe told Kenny, the heart of the problem.

If Wendy didn't hate Kenny's guts before, then she damn near despise his very being now. It's not even just pure  jealousy anymore. Ever since she's known him, he's stepped over her. Always better. She's definitely better at academics than Kenny, but he's always a few steps ahead of her in _something_. Wendy's known Bebe ever since they were in diapers. They were what Kyle and Stan were. Best friends to the joint.

_Kenny is taking that away. Everything._

He's one of the three who convinced Stan to end it with her. He's trusted with Bebe's secrets that Wendy didn't even know existed.

And somehow, he's looked at like the good guy. Like she's doing something wrong. And that angers Wendy.

But Bebe really hs nothing to do with Wendy's distaste for Kenny. Bebe was only defending a friend. Guilt is wiggling it's ugly head and it's starting to set in.

She didn't mean any word she called Bebe. A hypocrite and fake to their friendship? Yes. But a slut? No.

It's her fault for their argument. She was out of line for that, letting her pent up anger get in the way, and right after they started warming up to each other again. Really, it was all because of Kenny, but Wendy still shouldn't have initiated the harsh words.

Wendy takes in a deep breath. It's stupid to continue thinking about the fight. It's still too overwhelming for Wendy at the moment. So she decides to go over what she does know.

Kenny's in a bet. An abstinence bet.

And he's possibly banging Majorine in secret. They're acting different together, and according to Bebe, they're acting odd.

And Stan most likely knows about the bet, but possibly not the indecretion about Kenny and Majorine.

On a similar note, Stan is possibly the little 'birdie' that wants Wendy to know about this. Why? She doesn't know. But what does their relationship have to do with a bet? And why so anonymously? What is he hiding? Does he possibly wants to get back together...?

 _Possibly, possibly, possibly._ God, all of these 'possibly's are giving Wendy a headache. 

Her door slides open and she jumps a bit, almost wondering if Bebe came back to argue some more, but it's thankfully just her mother.

"Hey. We heard a lot of yelling. And Bebe left really angry. You two okay?"

Wendy gives her mom a small smile, hoping it doesn't look too fake. "Yeah we're good, nothing too big. We'll work it out though."

Her mom nods and moves to leave, but Wendy needs some advice.

"Hey mom?"

"What is it, sweetie?"

"What would you do if..." Damn. How could she word this? "...you want someone, and that someone possibly wants you back too?"

Wendy's mom smiles. "Is this about Stanley?"

Wendy sighs and nods.

"Well, it wouldn't be productive to sit here and think about it. You should try talking to him. Face to face."

Wendy frowns. Well, that's the problem. Should she mention to Stan that she know about the bet? Does he even know about it? What if he isn't the little birdie? He most likely does know about the bet, but that also means he'll go back to Kenny. And what will Stan say? Wendy can't handle rejection, look at where she is now.

What if...

What if Wendy is wrong? And Stan doesn't want her anymore?

What if it goes around to Bebe? This'll definitely set them even farther apart.

Wendy frowns. No matter what she does, the outcome is grim. Great.

"I dunno. I guess..." Wendy murmurs.

"It's all about control, Wendy. How you control your emotions and actions."

A lightbulb lits up in Wendy's head.

"Control..." She repeats.

"Yes. Control over yourself."

But Wendy doesn't seem to hear. She's smiling and putting on her shoes. Yes, control! How could Wendy have completely let it slip from her mind? She works better when she has more control over things. She's a natural leader, afterall. If she has the situation more under her control, she can be more informed. She'll be the center of the information. She wouldn't be left in the dark because it's under her fingers.  
She knows exactly what she's going to do.

Okay well, she's probably jumbling her mom's adivce just a bit, but Wendy thanks her mother for it anyways and leaves the house.

She has someone to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know, I intended for the argument to be the total opposite. But Bebe and Wendy and the type of character I want to build for the two didn't call for it. I have something special planned for Wendy, and this is the only way.
> 
> And besides, this chapter away from Kenny and Clyde is a little cock tease. Oh how I love to keep you all irritated. :^D
> 
> But at least we can jump back to the two idiots next chapter. Yay!
> 
> I'm also gonna tinker with the tags for a bit before I get started on ch.7, m'kay? 
> 
> ♡


	7. "Bathroom Stalls and Death By Sexual Frustration"

Can someone die of sexual frustration?

Kenny's sure one can if pushed at a certain limit. Not directly from denying relief. But probably suffocation or sensory overload?

Kenny wishes he'd died, but is quickly disturbed at the fact that he's wished he was dead twice in one week.

Blame the bet.

And those fucking Twinkies. Kenny will never look at the tasty snack the same way ever again. All because Clyde blew like, five of them, much to Kenny's dismay…

...and current problem. Specifically the lower regions...

He's been stalling for too long. Clyde was even saying how Kenny should go to the hospital if he's not feeling well, and Kenny hates hospitals, so he sucks up his gut, removes his black button up to wrap it around his waist, and the two walk to Shakey's.

God, cold weather and boners don't mix very well, Kenny realizes.

Not only is his dick painfully rubbing against his zipper and the rough material of his boxers and jeans, but also the cold winter breeze isn't enough to completely frostbite, but actually chill his trapped dick enough to make all the rushing blood down there scorching hot, a similar sensation to playing outside in snow and placing icy numb hands under hot water.

By the time the two boys reach Shakey's, Kenny makes a beeline for the bathroom, quickly (and hopefully coherently) telling Clyde to get a booth.

He shuts the bathroom door behind him and locks himself in a stall, unzipping his pants and when he firmly grips his aching dick he sees nothing but white.

Kenny panics a bit, but when he looks down, a large wave of relief washes over him when he sees he didn't come, but the relief iss so strong he almost does ejaculate.

 _Almost_ is the keyword. Kenny is proud he has at least some personal restraint and control.

Kenny tries to control his harsh breathing by swallowing but it only stings his dry throat. Fuck, who knew blue balls could do this to a guy??

He needs to do something about this. He can't just pull his pants back up and walk out. It hurts too much in his skinny jeans, and it's not like he could fit himself back in even if he tried.

He has to relieve some tension.

Reduce his erection, even just a little bit.

_Without comming._

Easier said than fucking done.

Kenny bites his lower lip and slowly drags his fist down his sex, his head involuntarily thrown back and a low groan escapes his mouth. He's so tempted to go faster, to move his hips and finish himself off. But he has to stick to the slow pace. Slow won't satisfy him, and it's what he has to aim for if he wants to win the bet.

_Win the bet, win the bet. Why is he even trying anymore?_

His hand is slowly massaging his dick, warming it up and surprisingly it's starting to get all of its feeling back. Good, this is good. Kenny moans louder, and--

\--There's a tiny squeak in the other stall next to him.

Goddammit he forgot to check the stalls. And lock the bathroom door for that matter.

Shit shit **shit**.

What should Kenny do now?? He can't keep going! He's fine with jerking it around people, but what if that person sees Kenny when he walks out? What if they think Kenny came and somehow word goes around to his friends and he loses the bet? Misunderstanding is the norm in South Park, so forget trying to squash a rumor once it's out.

And he can't stay either. What if Clyde comes looking for him?

He's gonna have to make a break for it.

Kenny shoves himself back upside in his pants and braces his hand on the stall lock. He heard the voice in the other stall and no other sounds, so they're still in the stall, probably sitting in embarrassment.

If he's gonna run, he has to do it now.

Fuck it.

And Kenny does just that, as he sprints his way out the bathroom in record time, and thankfully unnoticed.

Clyde's staring at him from across the diner, smirking one eyebrow raises in confusion and amusement. Kenny awkwardly nods and tries to normalize his walk.

“Damn Kenny, back at it again with shitting in public restrooms I see.” Clyde jokes as he flips the page of the menu.

Kenny rolls his eyes and picks up his own menu. He's just ready to eat and go home.

After a bit of debating, the two decide to share one platter of pepperoni pizza, even though Clyde insists he could eat the whole thing himself.

“You're a greedy mofo.” Kenny smirks as the waitress collects their menues.

Clyde smirks as well. “I go hard in the streets of Colorado.”

Hard. Kenny doesn't even want to think of that word again. Not after today.

The two talk idly about random shit and pauses their conversation when the waitress comes back with cokes.

“So, Kenny, I have...a question…”

“...Okay?” Kenny hesitantly says, lifting his drink to take a sip.

Clyde sighs and props his chin on his hand. “Is this like, a date? Or platonic?”

Kenny just about snorts his fizzy drink back in the cup, and pounds his chest when he coughs.

“W-what?” Kenny sputters, his throat scratchy.

Clyde stares at Kenny for a moment, and shrugs before taking a sip of his own drink. “Just asking.” He says simply, but Kenny's still taken aback.

Thing is, Kenny McCormick does not ‘ _date_ ’ anyone. He _fucks_. That's it. Whether it be random tongue on tongue action while drunk at a party or a quick pick me up after school, there is no such thing as ‘dating’ and ‘relationships’ in Kenny's dictionary.

...But what the hell have he been doing these last three days? Basically spent all his available time with Clyde. And now here he is, with him at Shakey's. The only time he's at this joint is when he's alone or with his friends, which is always more than one other person.

But here he's sitting with Clyde, actually having a pleasant time despite everything's that's happened today, and speaking freely as if the two knew each other for years.

Clyde must know of Kenny's excursions, but how much does he _really_ know? He probably thinks Kenny's trying to get in his pants. Not really far from the truth, after these few days Kenny wouldn't mind taking Clyde to bed. But only as apart of his usual escapades. Nothing more than just casual sex.

But something doesn't seem right.

Now that Kenny's got to know Clyde a bit more, he actually kinda...likes the relationship he has with the guy. It's fun. It's different. _He's_ different, Kenny notices. Clyde is different from everyone else. Or is he? Kenny doesn't know. And all this thinking is making his head throb.

“I honestly don't know.” Kenny murmurs, looking away from Clyde, and he leave it like that; the sentence floating over their heads.

Thankfully, the waitress is back with their platter of pizza, and they use their stuffed mouths as an excuse to be silent.

God, Kenny is such an asshole. He feels like he's leading Clyde on, which is not his intention. But he seriously and honestly don't know anything regarding Clyde. It's so clear but so vague at the same time, the line that seperate sex, friendship, and something more fluid in grey.

Kenny is both sexually and mentally frustrated with no sign of relief. Yay.

But still, all jokes aside, Kenny decides to make it up for the brunette. One thing Kenny is certain of is that the two are totally friends. So Kenny wants to make it up for fucking the day over for the both of them. He's not sure what he'll do, and what Clyde would like to do, but he'll come up with something for them to do after Wendy's party. It's the least he could do, when Clyde has been graciously letting Kenny in his home for the past few days and tolerating him.

Oh, wait, back up..Wendy's party...

Something clicks in Kenny's brain.

“Clyde, are you going to Wendy's party?” Kenny asks, and God how did he forget to ask?

_He probably forgot in between him getting off on Clyde and a Twinkie and the bathroom incident. Oh what a day._

“Yeah, you?”

Great. Just great. His only distraction is going to a fucking party. “I...don't think I will.”

Clyde's eyes widen. “Kenneth McCormick says he's not going to a party? You've been acting strange all day. You got a fever?”

“Naw, just don't feel like it…when is it anyways?”

“Tomorrow, sometime after five.”

That's two hours right after school. And that's not enough time for really anything Kenny wants to plan to do with Clyde. And parties tend to go on into the next day and end when the afternoon hits. A whole day and a half without anything to do.

Damn. He really has to attend the party, huh? He can't just sit in his room all day! Everyone gonna be at the party, having fun without Kenny, who'll have the rats to keep him company.

Fuuuuuuuuck.

“No, I'm not going.” Kenny sighs. This is some fuck shit…

“To be honest I'd be happy if you dropped by. Even if it's only for a little bit.”

...Oh?

Clyde must've realized what he said, as he starts to blush and flails his arms around in panic. “Y-you don't have to! I mean, just because I said you should doesn't mean you have to! I just kinda enjoy your company and….” He's starting to ramble, and Kenny can't help but smile. He's not the only one who likes hanging out, and it kinda feels good to know Clyde enjoys his presence as much as he does. Really, who cares what their relationship stands right now, or if this is a date or not. The bottom line is that they like being around each other. And Clyde getting all flustered is beyond cute.

So Kenny makes the stupidest decision of his life.

“...I'll go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two. I swear. ;A;
> 
> We're getting closer to Wendy's party! And oh god does everything fucking blows out of proportion. 
> 
> I was tempted to write in the party scene here, but it's too long and too much happening. I wanted this chapter to focus a bit on Kenny and Clyde alone.
> 
> And also I like torturing you all with patience. It's almost as fun as torturing Kenny. :'^)


	8. "Hooking Back Up and Losing a Bet"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAAACK!
> 
> Missed me? :^)
> 
> Sorry, I've been really down in the dumps lately...haha get it? Nately...lately?? Haha I'm so funny.
> 
> As you can see, I'm back in good spirits! I could've written out another chapter, but I didn't want to put the story in jeopardy during my little mood swing. Usually my emotions come out in my writing a lot. 
> 
> Anyways, you guys don't care about my personal problems! Let's just get on with the month long awaited chapter!!
> 
> P.S., yes, this chapter is super short. I needed some type of setup and break up at the end to switch back to Kenny. Forgive me senpai.

“Well did he lose?” Kyle sits up on Stan's bed, pushing his bag of marshmallows off his lap.

Majorine blushes and knots her fists together. “N-no I don't think so. He just dashed right out the bathroom. I checked the stall a-and found nothing...he sat with Clyde, ate, and left. He looked really uncomfortable the whole entire time, so I don't think he…” her face heats up even more, and she faintly wonders if she could combust in flames. “Well, y’know…”

Kyle sighs and nods in acceptance. “Thanks Majorine.” Kyle twists his body to look at his best friend, who is sitting beside the redhead on his stomach and propped up on his criss crossed arms. “Stan, you thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Yeah. The rules are too flimsy. Kenny can literally get away with anything. I think...I think we gotta add another rule dude.”

Kyle scrunches his nose at the idea. “Like I said before, adding rules is like cheating. You can't just do that. It's douchey.”

Stan rolls onto his back and shifts to prop the back of his head. “Yeah, it's kinda douchey, but the bet is way too unfair. Think about it. No fucking, no masturbating, no ejaculating. All he gotta do is have decent decision making skills, avoid us, and he wins before it even ends! He also has the alternative to just fuck someone and lose, and all he has to do is pay up and that's it. Who knows, he might be already right under our noses."

Kyle rolls his eyes. “So what should we do, Sherlock?”

Stan shrugs and smiles sheepishly. “I'm not really sure.”

Stan's door opens slightly and Sharon peeks her head in.

“Stanley, Wendy's here.”

Stan groans. Jeez, he told his family he doesn't want to see her! But of course his mom would open the door for her. Before he can object, said black haired girl shuffles in and the door closes behind her.

“Hey.” She says simply, and leans against the wall.

The silence is deathly awkward. 

“So, you want something?” Kyle speaks up.

“There's a bet going on.”

The three others in the room visibly stiffens. “Majorine!” Kyle and Stan exclaims.

Majorine flinches and starts playing with the hem of her dress. “Aww gee, I thought I kept it a secret! I'm sorry…”

“Butters didn't …” Wendy stops, takes a deep breath, and tries again. “Majorine didn't say anything.”

“Then who did?”

Wendy decides to ignore the questions and continues. “Well, I was wondering...if I could get in on the bet?”

Wendy watches as Stan and Kyle share a long glance, seemingly talking telepathically.

“It's too late anyways. Kenny already lost. Majorine was just telling us what happened at Shakey's.” And with that, Kyle gets up to put his shoes on, Stan and Majorine doing the same.

“Wait what? He already lost?” Shit, this isn't going the way she'd planned already.

“Yeah. We're about to meet up with him now..." Kyle furrows his eyebrows in thought. "Hey, should we get Cartman?”

Stan looks up from tying his shoes. “Well yeah. He's apart of the bet too. We outta tag him along.”

Kyle shrugs on his coat and opens the door. “I'll go get him.” And he walks out the room with Majorine in tow.

Stan adjusts his hat, tugging it unnecessarily long enough for Wendy to believe he's trying to stall. She sigh and cross her arms. “Stan, can't we just talk?”

Stan clears his throat and grabs his red mittens from his coat pocket. “We better catch up.” he murmurs before leaving the room with Wendy some distance behind him. He hopes his voice crack wasn't too noticable.

\----

He feels like he's going to pass out. His breathing is too shallow, too labored, and it's getting hotter by the second. The more he traces the figure in the picture, the more he's itching to touch himself. But not now. That will come later.

He's gorgeous. Always has been. So soft and delicate on the outside, freckles littering his nose and cheeks and curls framing his curved jaw gives him an exotic look, something forbidden. Something enticing. And he's addicted to it. All these years he denied it.

But not this time. Not when he's so far into his plan. How could he plan for so long only to forfeit now? That's not Cartman's style. He sticks with his pursues til the very end.

His thumb finds the photo, and he slowly rubs it down the still frame. Some would call him obsessed. Some would call him a psychopath. But really, he's in love, just like every other normal teenager.

It takes the visitor four hard knocks to snap Cartman from his daydreaming. He quickly shoves the photo under his mattress and makes his way downstairs. No matter how many times he ends up at the bottom of the stairs huffing and puffing, he's not bothered by his overweight status anymore.

“Kenny lost.”

Yes, this is all going accordingly well. His plan isn't too far off from completion now. It almost surprises him that it's so soon, but he's satisfied it's even happening. “Kewl. Let's go collect our money from the po’ boy.” Cartman sneers and slips on his sneakers, eyeing the other figure behind Kyle. “I see you got the she male with you, Kahl.”

Cartman doesn't have to see his face to know he's steaming. “Shut up fatass.” Oh, how that line rings in Cartman's ears. It's the most familiar to him.

“It's just an observation, Kahl. Or did you stop by the beach? Because I didn't expect you to have sand in your vagina so late this afternoon.”

“I don't have fucking sand in my vagina!!” Kyle exclaims, and the trio start their walk to Kenny's house. “Y’know, one of these days, you're gonna get what's coming to you, assfart. And I won't give two shits.”

Cartman smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wait a bit longer, and I'll have another chapter up to make up for this short boring ass shit of a chapter. :^)
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME FOR SO FUCKING LONG LIKE GOSH.


	9. "Realizations and Cold Showers"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I mention that I'm planning another Clenny story?
> 
> It's totally unrelated to Abstinence, and most likely won't be released until this story is complete, but I thought I should give a heads up in advance.
> 
> Also, I'd like to clarify how long Abstinence'll be.
> 
> FUCKING LONG I TELL YOU.
> 
> LIKE, THIRTY CHAPTERS IS THE MINIMUM. 
> 
> So sorry if that's not your cup of tea. ;^;
> 
> Ah well, on with the chapter :^)

This has got to be the worst day of Kenny's life.

He's not joking. The Twinkies and Shakey's fucked up Kenny's groove. He was doing pretty damn alright the first few days. Why all of a sudden he's a raging hormonal sexually deprived teenager??

Oh wait, he _is_ a raging hormonal and sexually deprived teen.

In any case, Kenny walks home alone with no promise of getting laid. Blue balls and all.

And not only is his dick suffering, but also his brain. Something weird is going on between him and Clyde. It's an awkward feeling. Hopefully it doesn't last…

...Oh.

 _Oh_.

Kenny wants to fuck Clyde.

The realization almost paralyzes Kenny long enough to get hit by a passing green truck. Thank God the driver is so bad at driving (or just drunk) that he missed Kenny by a hair.

Kenny grumbles under his breath about South Park and it's redneck assholes, but continues his long and uncomfortable walk home. And the snow surrounding him and the cold breeze makes everything quiet, and leaves Kenny to his original thoughts: he wants to fuck Clyde.

Not like it's surprising. Kenny’ll fuck anything if it's got a pulse and a hole. Well...there was that one time with the zombie…

Anyways, point is, Kenny can find anything attractive enough to fuck. And his extended time with Clyde only fed his desire.

The real problem is the bet, and Clyde himself.

Pretty damn obvious by now why the bet is a big obstacle, but Kenny can work around that. The rules to the bet aren't too specific, and the only thing that could hold Kenny back is if something fucking stupid happened, like it always does in South Park. But right now, he's in the clear for kissing and maybe some other loopholes if Kenny's dick didn't hurt so much that he can't even think straight right now.

But Clyde is going to be a problem as well.

From what Kenny remembers, Clyde has always been straight. He dated a few girls back then, the most notable was Bebe.

But does Clyde swing _that_ way? At _least_ as bisexual?

Maybe he'll be open to the idea of fucking a guy? He probably would, since Kenny's only looking for a one night stand…

_...Make that two nights …okay maybe more._

God, he's getting off track too much. He needs to fucking calm down. He's half hard and it hurts.

Thankfully, Kenny's home.

“Mhm yeah that feels good~”

“Shaddup, you nasty whore. You like thag, don't cha?"

Kenny rolls his eyes, looks away, and waves in his parents general direction. “I'm home.” He deadpans. Seriously, he hates it when his parents decide to fuck on the floor, right there in front of the window. It's _disgusting_. Kenny doesn't need to see two drunk and/or baked stinky adults slobber all over each other and gyrating their naked bodies to create a more foul stench than their yard.

But what can Kenny say? They're the McCormicks. This is just normal behavior. The only thing strange about it is that they actually decided to fuck in the privacy of their home, and not on the Mayor's desk, doggy styling it (Don't even ask. Long fucking story).

Thank God neither of them greets Kenny back, and the blond is able to reach his bedroom to close and lock it in place, the sound of slapping flesh and grunts are muffled by the wood.

Kenny sighs and plops on his mattress. Everything is a goddamn mess. And Kenny's exhausted beyond belief. Even though it's still a bit early, he just wants to sleep.

But of course, his previous thoughts on Clyde are still swirling in his head.

Kenny has to find out Clyde's gender preference. That's number one. Because as soon as the bet is over, Clyde is on the top of Kenny's list. And since Kenny's not the type to force someone's sexual preference to fit in with his agenda, finding out which way Clyde swings is important. And maybe if Clyde has any experience with the same gender. Now _that_ would be an interesting tidbit to know.

Kenny closes his eyes, a bit satisfied with his conclusions, and he drifts to sleep.

\----

_“Sleep?” She purrs. “Who said anything about sleeping?”_

_Kenny smirks. He really struck out with this one. Pretty, curvy in all the right places, and promiscuous as hell. She's a freak too, right up to his tastes._

_Slow, sensual rolls on Kenny's lap and his head is thrown back. Her long brown hair tickles his stomach and the view of her ass is spectacular._

_She turns her head, but Kenny can't remember her name. Julie? Jane? Who gives a fuck, she's hot as hell. She licks her lips and raises her hips, only to bring it back down. Faster, faster, and Kenny's snapping his own hips up to meet her halfway. Her moans, his grunts, and the sound of sex is loud and disgustingly amazing._

_Kenny's there. Oh god he's so close. He's hot everywhere and he feels the overwhelming rushing chill swirling in his gut. He can't keep the rhythm anymore, his thrusts hard and sporadic. She senses the end, and she smiles._

_“Come for me, Kenny.”_

\----

...and then he wakes up with a hard on.

Four minutes into sleep and he's hard. Kenny curse under his breath and wiggles out of bed. He needs to learn how to control his dreams, because dreaming about past encounters (still don't remember her name, sadly) aren't helping Kenny's cause.

He makes a move to sit up, and he immediately falls back on the bed, a loud moan escaping his chapped lips. Goddamn that felt good. His dick slid up his stomach, the very tip rutting up against his flushed skin. 

Okay, he has an erection and can't jack it. So what should he do?

Ah, he read on a forum once that a cold shower should do the trick.

Meh, his family doesn't even pay the water bill.

Kenny clench his eyes shut and rolls off the bed, trying to imagine Cartman naked and dead kittens to distract himself from the incredible friction the mattress creates against his dick. God, he has no strength to lift his body up and relieve his cock from being deliciously smashed against the bed.

God, Jesus, Satan...hell, even _Damien_...please spare Kenny. 

His legs are wobbly when he stands, the weight of his body now too much to bear. Kenny roughly grabs a ranom outfit from his closet and he manages to zombie walk his way out his bedroom, grunting every time his problem rubs his thigh in the just the right angle.

His parents are still in their odd missionary position, but they're passed out and snoring. Kenny, making sure he doesn't wake them up, makes his way to the bathroom and locks the door. He sprays some water on two mice that aren't intimidated by Kenny and won't fuck off. After a good second, they're scurrying out the small but high on the wall window that's letting in a small cool breeze inside.

Kenny steps in the shower and jumps when the freezing jets of water hit his skin. Might as well take a shower while he's at it.

And by some miracle, his boner actually dissipates. Slowly, which forces him to just stand there staing at the moldy tiles, but surely, it does the trick. Huh, cool. He's gonna have to give that person on the forum a solid thumbs up.

Kenny steps out the shower and immediately shivers. Ever since he's been using Kyle and Stan's showers, he's been use to warm water. Gotta get back into the routine…

....or maybe Clyde wouldn't mind Kenny using his shower…

No. That's stupid. Kenny is just now realizing he's sexually attracted to Clyde (or at least Twinkies, but for the sake of his sanity, it's Clyde), so taking showers at his house spells trouble.

Kenny slips on a simple grey t-shirt and his favorite but faded blue sweatpants and heads out the bathroom, and completely ignores his naked passed out parents and slips in the safety of his room--

"...Why are you guys here...?"

Kyle and Stan are sitting on his bed, Majorine pacing back and forth in front of Cartman and Wendy, who are standing and leaning on the wall near Kenny's only window.

Kyle opens his mouth, but Cartman beats him to it.

"You lost, hippie! Pay up!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Plays soft music on record player
> 
> Kenny is a normal teenager. Sex is of course natural to him. It's how he spends a regular afternoon. His friends know this, but that doesn't stop them...
> 
> //Takes spinner off disk, making a screeching noise
> 
> From betting he can't go a month without sex??
> 
> //Places spinner back on disk, and heavy metal music plays
> 
> Join Kenny in his daring adventure to prove to his friends and to himself that he can, in fact, stay in complete abstinence for a whole month! 
> 
> ...
> 
> SORRY I HAD TO.   
> PLEASE CONTINUE TO LOVE ME.  
> x'D I'm sorry. I'm a bit too hype right now. :^)


	10. "Kenny and Clyde Sitting in a Tree and Shadow Puppets"

“You like hanging out with Kenny?”

“I told you before he's pretty chill, dude.”

Craig huffs and sits up, the broad artificial light of Clyde's laptop highlighting the brunette typing furiously in the dark. “You two dating or something?”

Clyde pauses, and slowly looks up at his friend. He slowly closes the computer and set it aside. Craig can't see anything in the pitch dark of Clyde's room, but he hears shuffling and little clinging noises. “What's going on with you, Craig?”

Craig frowns and lies back down and tugs his sleeping bag closer to his chest. “Forget it.”

The shuffling stops and he feels something hard tap him on his shoulder. Craig gives in and grabs the flashlight and turns it on. He shines the small beam of white light to the ceiling, joining another beam of light in a random motion of dance.

“Are you sure you're not _jelly_ ~? Because I -- ow!!”

Craig withdraws his leg, satisfied. “It's not that, asshole.”

“I'm not an asshole!”

Craig shakes his head, and fixes his gaze on the swirling lights above. “I tried speaking to him earlier today...he still thinks I used him...”

“...Well, did you?”

Craig almost smacks Clyde upside his head. “No! You know I wouldn't do that shit, Clyde! I...he...we were both just in it for the money...or I thought. My dad was a fucking douche about it in the beginning but he warmed up to me. I thought everything was fine.” The last sentence is spit out like venom, and Craig's frown deepens even more, determined not to start crying.

“...But Tweek wanted more?”

Craig nods, and even though he realizes Clyde can't see him shake his head, he stays quiet, and so does Clyde for a few moments.

“You really, really gotta tell him how you really feel, dude. You guys have been 'together' ever since elementary. This is only gonna get worse.”

“I've been trying for a year now, and when he went out of town with his family created a huge ass two and a half month gap between us. He doesn't want anything to do with me. He thinks I used him for the money everyone was giving us and he literally stop answering my texts and calls. Fucking bullshit…” Craig grumbles, gripping his flashlight a bit too tight.

Craig feels four pats on his knee. “Well, tomorrow I'll talk to him, ‘kay? He can't be too angry.”

“...You don't really have to, Clyde. I think I'm done…”

“No, I do. You two like each other a lot. I don't see why some silly misunderstanding could screw that up.”

Craig can feel the corners of his mouth twitch into a small smile. Count on Clyde to be such an optimistic sap in all this mess. “You sure you won't be too distracted by McCormick?”

Now it's Clyde's turn to kick Craig in the leg, but it's much more playful. “It's not even like that!”

 _Oh_ , looks like Craig hit a sensitive spot. His smile melts into a smirk and he tucks the flashlight in his armpit, and uses his hands to hover over the beam of light to shadow puppet his index finger ramming in a makeshift hole with his other hand. “Kenny and Clyde sitting in a tree. F-u-c-k-i-n-g~”

Craig hears a slap, and he laughs at Clyde's facepalming. “Dude, quit it.”

“But seriously, what's with you two all of a sudden? One day you two barely even knew each other existed and the next you're bff’s.”

“Uhm...I dunno really. He just asked if I wanted to hang, so I did.”

“That's it?”

“Jesus Christ, Craig I told you this story like, a million times! Why are you so fixed on us?”

“...I dunno…”

 _Lie_.

Clyde is Craig's best friend. Yeah, he has Token, sometimes Kevin, but Clyde is the only person Craig can talk to and not be thrown a pity party in return. In a way, they're like brothers. Not the gay circle jerk Kyle and Stan are, but enough to trust each other deeply.

Craig knows what type of person Kenny is. Craig doesn't have anything personal against him, but they aren't exactly _friends_ either. Just sharing a quick smoke, and sometimes a quickie when they're too high or drunk to care.

And Craig will be damned if Clyde becomes a ‘hit and run’. No way in hell. Craig had to deal with Clyde and his breakup with Bebe, and it nearly made Craig break down when Clyde couldn't stop crying. The brunette puts his heart on his sleeve way too often -- He's a hopeless romantic...and prone to heartbreaks. And if Clyde actually does end up being just another conquest for Kenny….

_It'd devastate him._

Craig decides he has to have a small talk with Kenny soon. Hell, Clyde is going out of his way to save Craig and Tweek's relationship, the least Craig can do is watch out for his closest friend.

“I dunno.” Craig repeats, and continues swirling his light to the ceiling with no real pattern or care. Exhaustion is slowly seeping into his body, and his eyelids are heavy.

Before his eyes close, he sees a bunny. A shadow of a bunny.

“How in the fuck did you do that?” Craig exclaims, causing Clyde to chuckle.

“Here, I'll show you.”

And for about a half hour, Clyde teaches Craig how to make a bunny shadow puppet, using Clyde's flashlight to see in the darkness and Craig's to make the animal.

After he gets the hang of it, they once again get comfortable on the floor in their respective sleeping bags and make bunny puppets, making silly voices for them and have them go on crazy adventures oddly similar to the ones they knew was reality during their childhood.

When Clyde yawns for the third time, Craig shuts off his flashlight and Clyde follows suit. Craig shifts to his side, brings the cover over his shoulder and closes his eyes.

“You going to the party tomorrow?”

Craig rolls his eyes. “Yeah, and I'm sure Kenny's going as well?”

Clyde huffs and fidgets, mumbling a good night and Craig softly chuckles to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember when I was in middle school, and I would have sleepovers by myself (Because I have 0 friends) and had a shit ton of fun making fucked up shadow puppets on my ceiling. I didn't know how to make a bunny or all the other cool stuff, and always forgot to search it up, so I made up my own, like squid-fart and Mr Hater Parker. 
> 
> I can't believe I still remember them aha. 
> 
> I had a lot of imaginary friends lol.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this short chapter! I was mainly used to give a small break between Kenny and the gang as well as establish Craig's whole dilemma before it was too late.
> 
> Just so you know, if your confused about the money part, go watch the SP episode 'Tweek x Craig', and you'll understand. :^)
> 
> Woah, you read this far? Reward yourself with a smile and a very amazing day. :^) ♡♡♡


	11. "Explaining the Rules and Adding Some"

"You lost, hippie! Pay up!"

Kenny sighs and leans against his wall, itching to pinch the bridge of his nose to see if it actually works to calm him down. “I don't see how I haven't held up my end of the bet.” Kenny struggles to keep his tone calm and cool, pushing down his growing irritation that anyone can just pop up in his room unannounced. Like seriously, is this the norm now??

Cartman scoffs and interrupts Kyle who looks like he wants to explain. “Whatever po’ boy. Don't play stupid. You shook one out at Shakey's!”

Wendy winces and rubs her left ear tenderly. “Jeez, can you be any louder??”

Cartman squeezes his eyes shut and balls his fist, stomping and throwing a temper tantrum. “He came in my favorite fucking diner, goddamit!! Now how am I supposed to enjoy mah pizza??”

Stan sighs dramatically and ignores him. “If you don't have the money today, that's fine. But--”

“No no no wait, I DIDN'T lose the bet.”

“Majorine was in the bathroom and she said you...well…” Kyle starts fidgeting in his seat. “You lost.”

This is all wrong! Kenny didn't lose at all!

Kenny opens his mouth to say so, but then a thought comes to mind. And a devilish smirk overtakes his features.

He's gonna have _fun_ instead.

“Oh, my dearest Kye--” The redhead scrunches his nose at the nickname. “-I'll have you know I in fact did not lose the bet.” Kenny starts, straightening up and holding his hands behind his back. And everyone in the room stare at him as he pace slowly back and forth. “Although I am not planning on losing the bet so soon, my newfound...interest...in a certain person has lead me into very intriguing and rather astonishing ideas.” Kenny pauses and faces everyone, his smirk hurting his face, but it feels oh so great. Yep, his friends should know exactly what he's talking about. They thought it was blasphemy Kenny and Clyde even speaks to one another. But they got another thing coming. “And as soon as I win the bet, I have a well thought out list for everything I've been planning to do.”

Okay, this whole time Kenny hasn't been making a list of sexual acts he'll do after the bet, but the dumbfounded and disturbed faces of his friends is priceless.

So he continues.

“Rule number one -- ‘No fucking’. Now, even though I'm not one hundred percent sure on Clyde's preferences, I wouldn't mind being a potential first to show him how pleasurable recieving doggy style is. Or maybe even just a simple brojob to start things slow.”

The entry render everyone's face sheet white. Majorine is literally clawing at her dress and red in the face, about to burst already. Kenny isn't exactly the devil, so he sends Majorine home and she gladly slips out the window and practically sprints away.

But for Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Wendy? Naw, they deserve the wrath of Kenny's pervertedness. They have done nothing but behave distant and unfair to Kenny, all because of friendly competition. He will go through the short list of rules in graphic detail.

...But the image of Clyde naked, bending over and spreading his legs apart for Kenny clouds the blond's mind a bit. Okay fine, this isn't going to be easy. Just don't think about what he's saying too much and he'll be fine. Maybe he won't even pop another boner.

“Y'know I wonder if Clyde's into bondage? Maybe a bit of collar action if he's up for it. He strikes me the kinky bed partner, so I'm sure he'll find it arousing.”

Kyle scoffs and hides his face in his palms and Stan is finding the carpet floor very interesting. Wendy and Cartman are tapping their fingers and wincing as Kenny goes on, but their red faces are a clear indicator--

\--He's winning.

“And Clyde's still in football, right? He doesn't visually show any hardcore muscle, but I'm betting he's very flexible. I can picture him gyrating on my lap as we speak, twisting his body to fit in tight spaces,” Shit. That kinda got to Kenny. His stomach is heating up at the visual, the excitement and arousing state of fucking around and the possibility of getting caught. “Don't be surprised when you hear us fucking in the gym lockers. He'll be bent over and begging me to--”

Kyle coughs out and starts to choke on nothing while Wendy's jaw practically hits the floor. Stan pinches his nose, and Kenny almost laughs at the novelty of it. “Dude, that's not even fucking funny.” The nior groans.

Kenny actually has enough willpower to put on a genuine smile. “Stanley, weren't you the main one persistent in me losing the bet? I'm simply going over the extensive list of rules to verify that I'm not guilty.” Kenny has to admit, he's mildly impressed by his mild vocabulary and professional tone. But if his tingling body and half hard dick matched his expression, he's sure it'd ruin everything.

“‘Extensive’?? There's only three rules!!” Stan exclaims, holding up the appropriate number of fingers as if Kenny needs a visual representation.

“Do you really want to postpone the inevitable?” Kenny hopes his smirk is extra smug with a side dish of asshole.

Everyone groans once again, and Kenny takes the cue to go on.

“Rule number two -- ‘No masturbating’. So far, I have had close calls and desperately wanted relief. But every time I imagined the possibility of Clyde taking care of my problem for me gives me enough determination. Who knows? Maybe one of these days Clyde will let me watch him masturbate. That'd be a real treat, watching his face contort in pleasure, moaning and muttering my name--”

“Jesus Christ, the fagginess is getting in my bloodstream! I can't take the gay faggy sex!!” Cartman exclaims, throwing his thick arms in the air.

Kenny isn't fazed. In fact, he feigns distraught. “But Cartman, you enforced these rules. You didn't even let me get to the finale.”

Cartman growls and motions for Kenny to hurry the fuck up.

_Haha, he won't._

“The final rule -- ‘No ejaculation’. This is the heart of the bet, correct? The main feature!” Kenny waves his arms around, and he has to admit he might seem kinda out of it, but he feels a bit detached from his body, like he's high or something. He's way too hype and slightly horny.

“Craig told me wayyy back then in elementary you all drank Butters cum for some sport.--”

Kenny watches as everyone except Wendy visibly cringe pretty damn hard, as if he's opening old wounds.

“--I have to applaud him for the amazing idea. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing my cum dribble out of Clyde's pretty little mouth after sucking me off.”

Stan is covering his ears and loudly chanting ‘LA LA LA!’ and Kyle sits in a fetal position on Kenny's bed, rocking back and forth spewing out what sounds like Hebrew. Near the window, Wendy's adjusting her yellow scarf over her nose to hide her red face and Cartman's banging his head on Kenny's wall.

 _Good_. This is what Kenny calls a successful revenge. Everyone's suffering from a severe case of gay sex overload, but Kenny couldn't give a damn. They wanna be so quick to call him out? Well, they got a taste of Kenneth McCormick's wrath. And by the looks of it, they all learned their lessons.

Stan raises his shaky right hand, his face morphed in pure horror. “Please...stop…” his voice is small and desperate, and over dramatic if one asks Kenny.

The blond devil winks and joins his friends on his mattress, thankful his baggy pants are enough to conceal his half hard dick. Meh, you take and you lose. “But in all seriousness, I didn't lose the bet guys. Honestly, I almost did, but I have more self control, dude.”

And Kenny points to Wendy. “Why is she here again? Or did I miss a memo?” From the very start, Kenny didn't want anyone else to know about the bet to make it easier, but it seems like at least one person slipped through the cracks.

“Oh…” Stan starts, but he eventually shrugs. “She just tagged along…” He mutters, and Kenny raises an eyebrow. Guess he's not completely over her.

“Actually I wanted to join in the bet.”

Kenny blinks. “You want in?? Because let me tell you, it's pure torture. Like a living hell.”

“No, not that. Like, in the betting pool.” Wendy motions with her hands, but she's still obviously still a bit put off by Kenny's earlier discussion.

Cartman's eyes light up -- if that could even happen -- and oddly recovered from his previous distraught state. “Well why didn't you say so, slut?” And out of nowhere, he pulls out a crumbled piece of paper and a small pencil, the same one from a few days ago when the bet started. “Name your requests.”

Kyle sits up from his brooding state and crinkles his nose. “You can't do that, fatass!”

“Yes I can, Kahl! Just shut your whore mouth and watch me!” And with that, he turns back to Wendy.

“Well, what's everyone else placing for?”

“Fifty bucks, but we won't lose. And thirty bucks from fag boy over here.” Cartman says nonchalantly, throwing Kenny an odd look, a cross from disgust and hatred. Huh, looks like Cartman really didn't fully recover from the gay sex talk. Kenny can't help but smirk at Cartman's look.

“I don't want money, but I do have one request if we win the bet..” Wendy says.

Everyone pauses, anticipating her next words.

“If Kenny loses the bet, he has to date me.”

...

“I agree with Kyle. I don't think we can do this…” Stan speaks up, but Cartman flips him off just as quick.

“Go suck a dick, Stan. I can do whatever I want!” Cartman smirks and holds a fist to his chest, and Kenny swears he sees the brunette's back straighten. “I'm the boss of the bet, and I say I elect Wendy as a manager!”

Kyle completely gawk at this. “What?? Manager? Since when did bets have managers??”

“Just now, pussy boy!”

“Do I have a say so in this?”

“Shut up, Kinny!”

 _Fine_ , he won't say _anything_.

“So can I join in or what?” The girl asks impatiently, her blushing face just now dispates.

“Yeah. It'd be fucking hilarious to see Kenny dating you. I can see the headlines now -- ‘Poorest kid in town boning a trashy hoe?’” And Cartman chuckles at his own shitty joke, scribbling what seems to be chicken scratch on the paper before stuffing it back in his jacket. Stan is just fidgeting in his seat and sharing small glances at Kyle and Wendy flipping Cartman off for the insult.

“So that's it? You can just add more to the bet without my word in it?” Kenny says. He doesn't find it particularly life ending, but everything he said previously, about his plans with Clyde, now has an actual chance of never happening. Kenny isn't one to cheat on someone, and Wendy is a very clingy girl and seems to be on her period 24/7. So Kenny might as well see him losing and having to date Wendy permanent. And that foils all of his plans!

And besides..why would Wendy want to date Kenny? Aren't they like, not on good terms because of the whole Stan thing? And doesn't she know this'll be immensely awkward for everyone and especially Stan and Kenny? Guys don't really have that stupid girl rule to not date your best friends leftovers, but that doesn't make it less weird. And Wendy is very much not Kenny's type, even though he doesn't really have one in particular. She just has a nasty personality and it's a huge turn off.

“Yep! That's what you get for the gay shit you pulled!” Cartman sneers, moving to shove his body out the window. “C’mon gahs, Kenny's place blows.”

“Finally.” Kyle mutters, still blushing like crazy, and with Stan in tow they follow Cartman out. 

But before Wendy leaves, she turns back to Kenny and suddenly the air around her is more tense. “Don't take it personal, but could you leave Bebe alone?”

Kenny just stares, not knowing what to say to that.

Wendy sighs and finger combs her hair. “I'm trying to patch things up with her. I'd appreciate it if you didn’t get in the way.” Her choice of words are respectful enough, but her tone reflects much more distain.

“...Okay?” Kenny's not really sure what to make of this, as to why Wendy want to be apart of the bet so bad and why he's aparently such a detriment to Wendy and Bebe being friends again. She must be still pissed about the whole Stan thing. Or is she? He can't tell. Kenny concludes that he miss out on too much in this town.

Cartman's head pokes in with a frown on his face. “Hurry up, whore.”

Wendy sticks her tongue out at him, gives Kenny a hard last look, and she disappears out the window, just like that.

“See ya soon, lard ass!” Kenny calls out, and Cartman flips him off before turning to leave as well.

“Whatever welfare boy. Suck my ‘I don't give a fuck’ balls!”

“Gladly!” Kenny says, not missing a beat, and he smiles at the string of profanity and insults Cartman screams in the distance.

Kenny feels a swell of pride. Yeah, it's a pretty damn small feeling and doesn't really amount to any real success, but it's there alright. It's any oddly reassuring feeling to Kenny -- a sense of bravery and excitement. Seriously, he just fucking discussed dicking down Clyde and he didn't even cream his pants, a problem he had not too long ago.

He's gonna win this damn bet. Kenny knows it.

The blond yawns and collaspes on his bed.

Okay, he'll win after some much earned sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to at least update before I leave. For the summer my sister and I are staying with her dad (my step dad) in Michigan. Updates will be a bit weird, because I have a lot to do up there (Making our little comic with my cousins, performing for events, getting a small summer job, spending time with dad, etc), but I refuse to leave this story hanging!
> 
> We leave for the airplane early in the morning around 5, and knowing me I won't get any sleep. Not only do I have a mild case of insomnia I'll be petrified of getting on the plane. I'm just too anxious, WHAT IF WE CRASH AND DIE. I CAN'T EAT PIZZA AND WRITE SOUTH PARK STORIES WHEN I'M DEAD.
> 
> #prayfornately
> 
> Ah well, this isn't a fucking blog so I'm done lol. Thank you so very much for reading! ♡♡♡


	12. "Nonfiction and Bait"

Day fucking _four_.

Has it really only been _four_ days??

Kenny ignores the painful heat in his nether regions by occupying himself with the work in front of him. His inner thigh brushes up against himself and he barely suppresses a grunt in the quiet library. Fucking Mrs. Janiel decided to take the class to the school library to work on algebraic expressions in a ‘silent and mind stimulating environment’. But it's hard for Kenny to keep quiet when he woke up that Friday morning with a hard on he can barely keep down! The mental image of a naked Cartman only works temporarily before his brain is too clouded to think straight.

He's horny, frustrated, and tired. His vivid dreams last night featuring both past sexual encounters and make believe fantasies distracted Kenny from getting any actual sleep. Oh, and also dreams about Twinkies.

Kenny squints his eyes in a vain attempt to concentrate on the paper in front of him as he bites the eraser butt of his pencil. He immediately stops when the biting reminds him of Julie.

Ah yes, Julie. An exchange student from Britain around freshman year. She was the opposite of Pip--a complete stuck up bitch who thought she was a queen. Not academic wise, but ‘getting all the guys to fall to her heels’ type of attention.

And when Kenny met Julie, she was infuriated to learn he was basically the adorned whore already. She developed a personal vendetta against him, trying to one-up him, even though every time, Kenny was already two steps ahead. To say her rage was hilarious is an understatement.

And one faithful day she actually proposed an ‘arrangement’ with Kenny, just to prove herself. And how rude Kenny would be if he turned down the offer.

All he had to do was drag her to the nearest janitor closet. She was kinda ruthless, biting Kenny's neck enough to break skin and moaning like a cheap whore. But maybe she did that to mark her territory and show off more than anything.

But Kenny took it as a challenge. And in the end, Julie stumbled out the closet, legs wobbly and giving out, limping and out of breathe. Kenny, or anyone for that matter, never saw Julie again. Many suspect she moved back home.

Cartman, to this day, jokes that Julie ran back home because she didn't expect to run into a bigger slut than herself.

...But in truth, she was really good during sex. Kenny prefers her lips around his dick to her yapping any day.

And how she looked, bent at an obtuse angle, hair disheveled and pressing her perky tits against the wall…

“Uhg…” Kenny gasps, collapsing onto the table, resting his sweat coated forehead on the cool surface. He's gotta stop doing this. It's wrecking havoc to his body.

“You okay?” Kenny hears Stan whisper delicately from across the table. Kenny grunts, and leaves it up to Stan to determine if that was a yes or no.

A soft pat next to his left ear snaps him out of his misery and he sees the familiar crumbled piece of paper on the table he sat at.

‘HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?’

Kenny raises an eyebrow at the note and scribbles his own. He takes a quick sweep around the room to see Clyde sitting with two other classmates a table away. The blond discreetly flick it to Clyde's direction.

‘y?’

‘BECAUSE CRAIG IS BEING A DOUCHEBAG’

Kenny looks up again but doesn't see the nior. Kenny isn't even sure Craig is in the same class as Kenny. So what is Clyde--

\--Oh, Kenny can kinda see the faint blue glow on Clyde's lap. Kenny smirks. If he had a phone, Kenny would be on it as well.

‘Soooo??’ Kenny sends the paper back.

‘HE SAYS IT TAKES ABOUT 347 LICKS. BUT I SAY IT'S AH ONE, AH TWO-HOO, AH THREE, *CRUNCH*’

Kenny starts to giggle, but a rather loud clear of a throat echos, and Kenny reduces his laughs to a pretend cough, eyeing Mrs. Janiel back as she sat behind the librarian's’ desk.

‘Tell Craig it's as many licks as it takes for the tootsie pop to cum ;)’

‘EWW NO I'M NOT TELLING CRAIG THAT’

Kenny smiles at the paper, but before he can start writing again, the paper suddenly disappears. The blond looks up to see Stan reading the paper in amusement.

“You two are so adorable it's sickening.” Stan says simply before tossing Kenny the paper back.

“Oh Stanley, are you jealous? Don't worry, I'm sure we could squeeze you in and give you some lovin'.”

Stan suddenly finds the mind-numbing math in front of him interesting, his face a cherry red.

Again, Kenny is interrupted in writing a response to Clyde when another paper found its way to his elbow.

‘I'M BORED.’

Kenny couldn't agree more. He's long forgotten about his work, not even bothering with it. It's not that he's stupid, he just doesn't apply himself sometimes.

‘Me too. What you wanna do?’

It takes awhile for the note to come back to Kenny.

‘ASK STAN IF YOU CAN USE HIS PHONE’

Kenny looks up at Clyde to see the brunette staring back at him, smiling. Kenny mouths ‘why?’, but is ignored.

“Stan,’ Kenny taps the boys’ navy blue sweater. “Stan can I use your phone?”

“Why?” The black haired boy whispers back, but still reaches into his back pocket to retrieve his mobile. Kenny just shrugs and Stan hands him his Galaxy, and Kenny refrains from laughing at the pink phone case. Ah Stan, he's still a metrosexual at heart.

Kenny unlocks Stan's phone with a quick swipe. In almost no time, the phone vibrates and a notification pops up; a message from someone named ‘Taco Bell’.

Kenny scrunches his nose at the strange contact name, and almost gives the phone back to Stan, but then something clicks in Kenny's brain--It's Clyde.

Well duh. Stan is known for having strange contact names for everyone he knows. Like Cartman had ‘Pillsbury Dough Boy’, Kyle has ‘SBF’, etc. And having Clyde on his phone at all isn't a surprise. The two are both on the football team.

Kenny quickly clicks on the notification and reads the message:

 **Taco Bell (11:32 a.m.):** ayeee now im not bored anymre :)

Kenny smirks, a bit put off from the sudden change in way of contact, but he types out his own message, hiding the phone in between his legs and out of view of Mrs. Janiel.

 **Uncle Fucker (11:33 a.m.):** thats good i gotta get me a phone so we could talk tho

Kenny rolls his eyes at the name Stan has for himself. Terrance and Phillip still have a lasting effect on all the kids of South Park.

 **Taco Bell (11:33 a.m.):** fr. make sure u give me ur phone nmbr when u do.

 **Taco Bell (11:34 a.m.):** anyway, i just wanna say thanks. i no u dont wanna go, but i think youll have a gr8 tiem

Ah. The party later on at five.

 **Uncle Fucker (11:35 a.m.):** np dude. i no i will, don't i always ;)

Kenny can hear Clyde snort out loud. But another text doesn't come straight away. And before Kenny could exit the messages to search Stan's phone for a game to play, the phone vibrates again.

 **Taco Bell (11:41 a.m.):**  no rlly though. i want to thank u properly. look up at the nonfiction books

Kenny raises an eyebrow at the comment, but looks up anyway to see Clyde lazily walk in the direction of the Nonfiction shelves, Mrs. Janiel paying no mind. A paper wasn't sitting at Clyde's spot on the tables, so he must've turned his work in and is allowed to walk around the library for a book to read. Clyde sneaks a devious smirk at Kenny and smoothly let his fingers lightly caress the book spines as he walked further into the back-right side of the library. All Kenny can see now is the top of the brunette's shaggy hair, his body effectively covered behind the endless shelves of books from the rest of the class. Kenny stares for a long moment, wondering what the hell is going on, until the phone in his hand vibrates.

 **Taco Bell (11:45 a.m.):** im touching myself kenny

Sweet mother baby Jesus.

Kenny's mouth goes dry, leaving him with a cold tongue despite his warm body. His eyes rereads the simple sentence to prove it's real. And goddammit it _is_.

 **Taco Bell (11:45 a.m.):** i no u want me. 

_Where in the hell this is coming from??_

Kenny flips his head up, alarm written all over his face as he tries to get a glimpse of Clyde. But all he sees is a small fluff of brown hair move a bit behind shelves of books. And his spot is well hidden, no other classmate will know what's happening literally a few feet away from them.

Another vibration.

But there's no text.

There's a fucking _attachment_.

Kenny opens the image without thinking it through properly.

It's a self image of Clyde, his hand stuffed down his jeans with his fly open, brown boxers peeking out. His stripped white and blue shirt pushed up to show a bit of his tanned smooth looking skin. All that shows above the neck is his jaw and mouth, a pink tongue in between a delicate set of lips in a teasing way.

 **Taco Bell (11:46 a.m.):** join me? ;)

A sudden warm touch on Kenny's shoulder makes the blond jump almost out of his seat, which makes Stan retreat his hand. “Dude, are you okay?”

Kenny clears his throat and nods his head a bit too fast, trying to loosen his death grip or he'll break Stan's phone.

“You sure? You're like, sweating, and really red. You coming down with something?”

“...‘Mhm fine.” Kenny manages.

“Well hurry up, class’ almost done.”

Kenny nods again and looks down, twisting uncomfortably in his seat as the beginning pool of warmth settles in his stomach. Okay, any previous questioning of Clyde's sexuality is debunked, and Kenny isn't sure if he's happy with that or not.

Another notification.

Another attachment.

And another step towards Kenny's undoing.

This time, the image is Clyde in the same sitting position, but his legs spread wider, his erection free from his boxers as his right hand is blurred, obviously jerking himself off. His tongue no longer out as Clyde's too busy biting down on his still lifted shirt to suppress noises that Kenny no doubt knows are sweet and fucking sexy.

 **Taco Bell (11:48 a.m.):** youve been oddly extra friendly all of a sudden. knowing u it means u wanna fuck 

It's taking everything he's got to not embarrassingly whimper in front of Stan and his class in this quiet ass library.

Kenny doesn't even feel the need to correct Clyde because it's true. Kenny's reputation of showering someone with sudden attention always meant he wanted to take them to bed. It's not surprising Clyde came to the conclusion. But what _is_ surprising is the sheer boldness. Kenny saw Clyde as a blushing (albeit perverted) naiive virgin. He certainly didn't expect this so soon, at all for that matter.

Out of nowhere, a random but soft thud echoes the room, earning a few heads of students looking up and around for the sound for a few seconds.

 **Taco Bell (11:50 a.m.):** oops i knocked a book down

And with that text came a third and last image of Clyde, but with cum stains all over his hand and a bit on the grey carpet of the library. And indeed, a book is lying on the ground, open, next to a smirking Clyde.

“Okay, everyone, we still have ten minutes until lunch. Finish up your work and turn it in. When you hear the bell, you may leave.” Mrs. Janiel’s whispering voice says loud enough for everyone. But Kenny's not paying attention. He never even started on the blank sheet in front of him, and he doesn't care. He has to calm down his aching boner first.

Kenny tries to suck in his stomach to alleviate some pressure, but to no avail. He has to let down his fly. His jeans are too tight. He doesn't have to fucking flash himself to the outside world-- _just_ his jeans.

With all the blood rushing from Kenny's head to his dick, it actually sounds like a brilliant plan.

The sound of his pants zipper couldn't have been any louder. It doesn't attract any attention from the other kids...except Stan. From the edge of Kenny's heavy eyelids he can feel the small confused glare in front of him. Kenny steadies his breathing until Stan's sky blue eyes dart back down.

And he let's out a relieved sigh now that the metal of his zipper no longer was rubbing against his dick. The only barrier was his boxers, and he's cool with his small haven.

He uses Stan's phone to cover his left free hand, which slides in his jeans a bit and tenderly rubs his erection through his boxers, and Kenny almost starts to try and whisper to his dick that it'll be alright and should go to sleep already. Oh how he wants to guide his shaky hand faster and harder until he creamed himself to the images Clyde sent Kenny. Or even join Clyde behind the books. But he simply couldn't. Stan was right there, and also someone who knew about the bet. Not that Kenny would try to cheat or anything...

Kenny closes his eyes slowly but firmly. He takes a deep breath, and out goes some of the tension in his bones and the static electricity in his back. Control. He needed control.

The sound of the school lunch bell both startles and relieves Kenny. He can finally leave and separate from being in such a small and quiet place, but his fly is still undone. He frantically uses the small seconds he has of his peers packing up and standing to zip himself back up.

He looks up at Stan who's eyebrows are slightly risen and Kenny hands Stan his phone without a word being spoken.

Kenny stands up and leaves his incomplete sheet at his table, knowing full well that Mrs. Janiel is sending daggers in his direction. Kenny's too busy glaring at a satisfied Clyde, who struts nonchalantly from the mass of shelves and out the door…

...But not before winking innocently and doing a subtle but familiar gesture towards his mouth, as if he's eating something circular--

And that's when Kenny places the last piece to the puzzle.

That bold mother fucker set Kenny up from the very fucking beginning, from the Twinkies to now, testing just how much Kenny finds Clyde sexually attractive.

And Kenny, the self proclaimed manipulating sex god, fell for the obvious bait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clyde you fucking tease.


	13. "Gathering Information and Pure Torture"

Kenny makes a beeline straight to the caféteria, ignoring the odd looks people give him on the way there. He has to admit, he's a strange sight; hair disheveled, pants unbuttoned but obviously hastily put together, a bulge to show, and he's practically drenched in sweat and blushing profusely. But he doesn't care right now. He has to have a word with a certain mother fucker.

The increasingly loud clatter and chatter in the café is a familiar sound that Kenny use to really relish and appreciate. It felt as if he was encased in a bubble with only his four (sometimes Butters tags along) best friends. But today? It's proving to be a nightmare trying to locate Clyde's voice through the maze of students.

Two tables away from his normal table. There they are. Token, Tweek, Craig, Jimmy, and the douchebag Kenny's been trying to find. All huddled near the edge of the table, a distinct group.

Kenny marches himself straight there, not even bothering to get his lunch.

He plops down on a seat between Craig and Jimmy (the former shooting Kenny a cold stare, but is duly ignored), because here he's directly in front of Clyde, who's sandwiched between Token and Tweek.

Kenny leans in and puts on the most deadliest glare he has. “We need to talk.” His voice is low but strong enough to be heard.

Clyde smiles innocently, as if he didn't just jerk himself off literally less than five minutes ago. “Oh hey Ken. How’re you?”

This in turn causes Token to notice Kenny's presence. “Kenny?” He asks, confused.

Kenny drums his fingers on the table impatiently. “Clyde. We need. To talk. **Now**.”

Clyde just blinks at Kenny like he didn't hear him.

“Move McCormick. You're taking up all the space.” Craig comments, nudging Kenny rather hard. Kenny opens his mouth to retaliate, but he's beaten to it.

“D-Don't do that, man! Or K-Kenny's gonna be squished and die!”

Craig's expression softens a bit, almost to the point of being unreal, but seconds later is harden again. “Calm down Tweek, he's not gonna get squished,” Craig's face scrunches in disgust when he and Kenny lock eyes. “But he'll get a fucking punch to the face if he don't fucking move.”

“Gahh!!” Tweek shrieks.

Kenny sticks his tongue out childishly, and Craig flips him off in response.

“Craig, be nice. What do you need Clyde for, Kenny?”

Of course Token asks this. Out of their little group, Token is like Craig, Tweek, and Clyde's mother, always asking and worried about them. Reminding them to put on sunscreen. Scolding them for failed tests. Comforting them through hard times. It's kinda sweet, honestly, and it actually calms Kenny's nerves a bit. And now that he's rationally thinking things. Token didn't do anything wrong, so might as well drop the attitude. But fuck Craig. That guy can go kicks rocks and hug a tree.

“I gotta talk to Clyde about something in private. It'll only take a second.” Kenny explains, his tone much more calm. Token's eyebrows dips a bit at Kenny's avoidance of the question, but shrugs and goes back to his French fries as Clyde pouts at his friend's betrayal.

The brunette finally sighs and stands up. “Okayyyy.” He drags in defeat.

\----

Kenny quickly checks the stalls and heaves a satisfied huff when there's no one in the bathroom with them. Probably won't be for a while until near the end of lunchtime. So they have to make this quick.

...Oh shit.

Now that Kenny has Clyde alone, he doesn't know how to go about the conversation. He was so riled up and pissed that he forgot to have a plan of action.

So instead of a calm and steady demeanor, Kenny’ll just dive right in, head first.

“What the fuck was _that_??” The blond snarls, crossing his arms and glaring at Clyde in an accusing way. The brunette just shrugs and leans against the sink.

“Dunno why you're so confused, isn't that what you wanted?”

Hell yeah that's what Kenny wanted. But that's not the point. He just wished it didn't come so fucking soon, and right in the middle of a bet. Because Kenny can't act on anything that Clyde throws at him. And this'll no doubt backfire, since Kenny is known for jumping at any opportunity if sex is involved. Hot, raw, mind blowing--

_Woah there. Bring it back, Kenny. Bring it back._

If it weren't for this stupid wager, he would never even have discovered this sudden sexual attraction to Clyde. Wouldn't have been thinking about fucking him senseless. Because now, as the library incident a clear indicator, this is not temptation.

This is a clear _invitation_.

“You knew, didn't you? The Twinkies…”

Clyde sniffles a laugh. “You should've seen your face!”

Fine, the brunette had gotten his desired reaction.

But if Clyde really thinks he's in control of this little ‘game’ they're now playing, he's sadly mistaken. He picked a tough fight with the wrong guy. Kenny is the master of manipulation, he has conquests that'll tell you so and years of experience from his hard life with few coins to prove. Yes, Clyde knows about Kenny's bro-boner for him, but now it's time for Kenny to do his own information gathering. Purely for scientific purposes, of course.

Kenny moves to lock the boys’ bathroom door, and can faintly hear Clyde's hitch of breath as Kenny makes his way towards the brunette, using his upper body to press against Clyde to lean further over the sink. Kenny smirks at Clyde's vain attempt to look intimidating, straightening his back and schooling his face to seem unamused.

But Kenny's smirk quickly disappears when he feels Clyde's warm hands slide up Kenny's sides, pushing up his shirt and caressing his skin. Anticipation, anxiousness, and raw arousal ignites inside Kenny. The game has commenced, and the two challenge each other to see who would chicken out if it went too far.

Kenny's breathing is sporadic, turning into soft pants as he grips Clyde's hips and slithers his right hand between the brunette's legs, rubbing alongside his thighs and listening to Clyde's tiny approving sighs and whimpers.

Kenny's hand inches higher and higher--but faces a halt. Kenny spares a small and quick flick of attention downward to see Clyde gripping Kenny's wrist from venturing further. But it doesn't feel like Kenny has won. The blond tries to read Clyde's face for a trace of disgust or anger...but sees none of that. The same anticipation, anxiousness, and arousal Kenny has is reflected on the boys face. Kenny didn't have to palm Clyde to know he's as hard as Kenny is.

 _So why is he stopping Kenny?_ Didn't he bluntly ask for this? This definitely has nothing to do with sexuality--It's pretty damn obvious which side of the fence Clyde sits. But he's hesitating, preventing Kenny from continuing.

...Maybe Kenny's just moving too fast.

Ironic, considering what Clyde's been doing the past four days, but it could be true. Clyde isn't like Kenny, jumping from bed to bed. And besides Bebe, Kenny can kinda figure out that Clyde has been with no one else, or at least has limited experience. Hell, he's almost sure Clyde and Bebe never even touched each other, other than pecking.

Unlike Kenny, who's been to home run countless of times and goes through loose women like Draino. Even the virgins he's been with were eager to get it on with already.

So for once in Kenny's life, he has to take it slow. Like, _really_ slow.

Kenny strains to not break eye contact as he leans in, resting his sweaty forehead on Clyde's, feeling the other's breath against his own. As much as he wants to flip Clyde around and fuck him against the the sink with no mercy, he knows it'll be a mistake to rush this. He doesn't know how desperate Clyde may be for some action, but if him stopping Kenny all of a sudden is anything to go by, then Kenny knows when to quit and try later.

But goddamn, the electricity is still there.

So Kenny closes in more, brushing his lips gently against Clyde's to test if it's okay with the boy.

And apparently it is; Clyde immediately let's go of Kenny's wrist and wraps it on and around his shoulders, pulling Kenny into a heated kiss.

Damn, Kenny hates slow, but he's committed to letting Clyde take over for the sake of his comfort and pace. And besides, Clyde seems to be enjoying himself as much as Kenny is, his brown eyes fluttering shut as he attacks Kenny's lips and holy fuck where did Clyde learn to kiss like _this_??

Kenny didn't know what to focus on--the softness of Clyde's pretty lips pressed up against his or the brunette's tongue kneading and probing every crevice of Kenny's mouth, getting to know and memorizing the unknown territory. Kenny is sure Clyde could tie a cherry stem with only his tongue.

The intense kiss is just too much, quickly clouding Kenny's dull mind enough to let a low moan escape and completely wound his manly ego. Clyde, in response, smirks against Kenny and breaks the kiss, pecking his bottom lip just to twist the knife.

Cheeky little bastard.

Time for retaliation.

Kenny cups Clyde's ass without warning, earning a yelp in surprise and an annoyed grunt. Kenny pulls Clyde up a bit, and settles the boy to sit on the edge of the sink. Before the brunette can say anything, Kenny goes back in for another kiss.

And Kenny almost creams his pants when Clyde gyrate against his lap, his dick happily sitting in between.

“...Fuck, Clyde.” Kenny rests his head on Clyde's shoulder and neck joint, basking in the delicious movements.

The blond hears his zipper being undone, and it's all the encouragement he needs to reach for Clyde's belt, the two now undressing each other, clawing at each other like wild animals.

But something whispers to Kenny.

‘ _What are you doing, Kenny? He's not ready!’_ A timid voice in the back of Kenny's head shrieks. ‘ _Not now, Pip.’_ Kenny grumbles in his mind.

‘ _But he stopped you before for a reason! He's just too far gone in lust to realize it!’_

And at that, Kenny pauses.

And he starts to think. Yeah, Clyde stopped him...but he's willing to fuck now. Isn't that enough?

...No. It isn't. Pip, even though he's dead and basically irrelevant, is right. What if it's just Clyde's hormones talking, and they fuck, and the brunette later feels guilty or ashamed? Or even used? Kenny gulps hard at the thought.

‘ _Fuck it! He's right there! He wants it! You have him right there and willing to be fucked silly! Now’s your chance!_ ’

Well then. Damien also makes a compelling case.

_‘No! It's not morally right!’_

_‘Just give him the dick already!’_

This must be what schizophrenia is like. Voices in Kenny's head that he can't control are battling it out, trying to persuade Kenny to take their side without considering his own feelings on the matter.

“Kenny…?” A murmur snaps Kenny out of his thoughts and back to the real world. He must've been idle for too long and Clyde took notice.

**What should the fuck he do??**

“What's wrong?”

Shit. Clyde's voice is steadily regaining thought and Kenny could hear traces of confusion and worry. It means Clyde is starting to think properly. And thinking is bad. Kenny didn't want Clyde to be thinking when he could be doing better things, like moaning, screaming Kenny's name, and he'll even talking dirty if he got off on it. But not coherent thought processing.

God, Kenny wished he was the kind of guy who didn't care and would've just had sex with Clyde, the brunette's feelings and the bet be damned! But Kenny isn't. And now the reminder of the bet and his stupid fucking morals making an appearance, Kenny said what could be the dumbest thing he has ever let past his lips.

“This is your first time?”

 _‘I hate you!_ ’ Kenny's dick exclaims.

Clyde raises an eyebrow in disbelief, and rolls his eyes. “No.” His voice much more monotone than normal.

 _‘It's okay, I hate me too_.’ Kenny thinks to his dick.

Clyde scoffs and lightly shoves Kenny by the chest, and drops down from the sink, disappointingly re-zipping his jeans and fixing his belt.

Did he really just ruin sexy times with Clyde to ask if he's a virgin?? Seconds ago he had him willing and ready!!

“I gotta go, lunch is almost over.” Clyde grumbles and walks away, unlocks the door and leaves Kenny in the bathroom to sulk in his own misery.

This couldn't be happening. He refuse to believe it even happened.

Kenny blindly leans against the tile walls and stares blankly at the green stalls in front of him. His life is officially over.

But really, he's not too depressed. He's still in the running of the bet. And he got to confirm Clyde's sexual preference, and that he's interested in Kenny--or at least was. Kenny wouldn't be surprised if Clyde completely avoided Kenny forever for this.

So in hindsight, Kenny should be glad it ended this way.

And just like that, just to rub it in, the bell rings, signaling the start of afternoon classes. Kenny doesn't know how long he's been standing there, but he doesn't move. Not even when he hears the door open and in comes a familiar black haired boy.

The boy pisses and takes his time to wash his hands. “Don't worry, we know you're still in the running of the bet.” Stan says, snatching paper towels out the dispenser and drying his hands.

Kenny just mumbles in acknowledgment.

Stan throws away his towels and walks towards the door, his hand gripping the handle but not moving to open it.

“Oh yeah, Kenny?”

The blond says nothing, waiting to hear what Stan has to say. But from the corner of his eye, he can see a dusty pink blush adorn Stan's face.

"Next time you use my phone to text Clyde, make sure you delete the messages before you give it back, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn, I gotta give Kenny a break! He's not doing so well! ;A;
> 
> But don't we all like torturing Kenny? ;^)
> 
> Next chapter should be the party! Ayeee, party ovah here! Haha, I've been stalling this party for too long. 
> 
> But thank you all for being patient with me, and continuing to read this pure trash of a fic. I appreciate every kudos, comment, and subscription. Each one goes noticed every day and makes me pee my pants. ♡


	14. "Party Like We're Fucking Porn Stars Man" (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this show on the fucking road.

Kenny's pencil lead snaps for the third time, and he's pretty sure his sanity will snap as well.

He grips the pencil hard one last time and shoves it to the ground, forgotten. He looks up from his paper and silently watch as twenty other students are hunched over the same Anatomy and Phys. quiz.

Kenny reaches in his bag to take out another pencil, but stops, and decides against it. He bombed this quiz and he knows it. Might as well take this time to chill out, because Kenny's still a bit wired from earlier.

What a fucking douchebag move that was. Yeah, the so called douchebag move saved Kenny the bet, but Clyde has no knowledge of the bet…

... _Right_?

Suddenly, everything becomes clearer. It makes perfect sense! A bit fucked up that Clyde is potentially teasing Kenny into losing, but sensible nonetheless.

But the thought of Clyde only acting this way to make Kenny lose doesn't feel very good at all.

Kenny shakes his head. No, he's being ridiculous right now. He hasn't even asked Clyde -- he's just jumping to conclusions and running in circles.

Kenny doesn't know how in the hell he'll approach Clyde when it's so awkward between them and ask such an odd question, but his curiosity won't be quenched otherwise. And Kenny never shy away from shit like this. He's direct and confident.

So why is he getting chills?

_Okay, new topic._

Bebe. He still wants to know who's fathering her kid, which Kenny highly doubts they will. Because finding the donor will be akin to a shot in the dark. There were too many people at the last party from all sides of the park. And the chances of the guy stepping up when he realizes it's his kid are slim to none. So might as well look forward and forget about it, as unfortunate as it may sound.

Regardless, in the end, Kenny doesn't even have to come up with a plan -- he'll _definitely,_ without question, help out with the kid anyway he can. It must be stressful having so much responsibility by yourself. Financially...meh, Kenny can just mooch off Kyle or something. Besides, Kenny's finally old enough to get a job, albeit a part time job, he can make it work.

Kenny smirks at his desk. Look at him, already thinking like an adult and shit. It's really not that hard to be honest. Just don't act like a total dickwad and boom, adulthood.

Okay, what else does Kenny have on his plate? Uhh...well, there's the party after school, but that also equates back to Clyde and Kenny doesn't know if he's mentally ready to handle Clyde right now.

Good thing they only share first period, or Kenny would've had no choice but to see him.

...But Kenny's going to the party because of Clyde, so he can't just ignore the brunette forever now. And just _going_ going, but he **promised** he'd go. And Kenny doesn't break a promise, or make them when he can't keep them.

Kenny now knows that Clyde is at least a bit attracted to Kenny, or at least attracted to guys in general. While that piece of information would've made Kenny jump for joy yesterday…

...Now makes Kenny groan and wallow in his own despair.

What started as a way to relieve himself of distractions that could end the bet against his favor, now turned into something Kenny has to avoid. Kenny knows the basics of his self control. No fucking way can he pull of hanging with Clyde and not finishing what they've started.

But hey, maybe, just _maybe_ , Clyde isn't interested in sex per say. Maybe Clyde just wants a kiss or even a makeout session or two.

Okay, even that sounds fucking retarded to Kenny.

From what Kenny remembers of Clyde from back then, was that Clyde wasn't some naive, innocent, delicate little flower princess. Kenny remembers the playboy's he got in trouble for having in class. He cursed and was, and probably still is, defiant like the rest of South Park kids. Maybe to a lesser extent, but fucked up nonetheless.

And besides Craig, Token, and Tweek, didn't Clyde use to actually take Cartman's side? Yeah, innocent and naive his _ass_.

But, what does Clyde want, exactly?

“Pass your tests to the front please.”

Kenny takes a good look at his half finished test, and bubbles in random answers. God knows how well his guesses are.

The bell finally rings, ending the school day, but starting the real day.

As soon as he leaves the classroom, Kenny has the urge to search for his friends, but decides against it. They're all probably rushing to get their shit from their lockers and leaving the school for the weekend, as well as kick off Wendy's party a bit early.

Like every Friday, papers and pencils are flying whichever way, people are knocking into each other and screaming.

Let's hope Kenny doesn't die in the midst of the chaos.

\----

With nothing really on his mind, Kenny arrives on Wendy's doorstep about fifteen minutes after school. And already he can hear the pure unsupervised fuckery happening inside.

Kenny takes a deep breath in tune with the R&B trash playing through loud speakers.

_Here we go._

\----

Great. An hour into the party and North Park and a bit of East Park hot chicks are here. They're even serving Kenny's favorite beer. But _no_. He can't have any. Not even a sip. He's too paranoid he'll drink and don't stop until he's drunk. And when Kenny's drunk he always wakes up beside someone in bed. And that's not how Kenny wants his night to go (Well, he does, but he wants to win the bet a bit more...sadly).

And goddammit the _girls_. _The **girls**._ Low crop tops, short skirts, light makeup and bright ass wasted smiles.

There's even the girl Kenny banged last at one of these parties, with a crowd around her as she lifts her shirt up.

_Don't drool Kenny. Don't drool._

Kenny almost jumps visibly when he feels a big slap on his back.

“Kenny! Hey!” Kyle cheers, handing Kenny the second beer he's holding. But Kenny just smirks and shakes his head no. “What's wrong with you, dude? You've been acting weird all day today.” Kyle comments with a frown.

Kenny shrugs. He doesn't feel like screaming over the loud music. His day has been crap to say the most, and he's not really feeling the party vibe. It's like it's all just...happening. He's not particularly pissed, but he's not having fun either.

Kenny barely registers that he said all of that out loud. “Mhm…” Kyle muses, and takes a long glance at the crowd, then back to Kenny. “Stan told me what happened. You...okay?”

It's not everyday Kenny is rejected romantic advances, so the blond isn't even fazed Kyle's treating him like a child who didn't get what they wanted. “I'm okay. Just tired is all.” And it's true. Kenny looks down at Kyle's beer, which isn't even open. Kenny raises an eyebrow. “I thought you don't drink beer.”

Kyle rolls his eyes and wiggles the can in the air a bit. “It's Stan's.”

Kenny's eyebrows raise even higher. “You're letting Stan drink?”

“He's been acting like an angsty bitch lately. Beer is all I know how to cheer him up.”

Kenny opens his mouth to say no, _you_ cheer Stan up, but speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“Have you guys seen Craig? I can't find him.” Stan takes a space next to Kyle, accepting the beer he's given.

“Why you wanna know where Craig is? I thought you hated him.” Kyle asks.

“He said he wanna talk to you.” Stan says, looking at Kenny. “But I don't know where he is.”

Craig wants to talk to Kenny? That's odd. He could've just went to Kenny or something. But Kenny guess the fucker thinks he's above everyone and can request Kenny whenever he fucking feel like it.

“It'll find him.” Kenny grunts, and leaves the two behind to disappear more into the fray.

A scream breaks out to the right of Kenny; He and the majority of the room snap their heads to the staircase, but all that's happening is some North Parkian sliding down the stairs and overreacting.

Too bad Kenny looked for too long, and immediately bumped into someone HARD.

And that someone was Clyde.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started for me a month ago. I got four honors classes (Anatomy, US Hist., English, and Algebra), a French class, and an ROTC program.
> 
> On the flipside, although I was absent for a whole month, I'm still getting loads of support that all brought tears in my eyes.
> 
> And I couldn't be happier.
> 
> So in turn, I give you the start of the party, and three parts (+1) as a token of my absolute bliss. 
> 
> I love you guys, seriously. I gotta do something for you guys one day. Because you all couldn't be more perfect. ♡♡♡


	15. "Party Like We're Fucking Porn Stars Man" (Part 2)

_And that someone was Clyde._

\----

In the past, both would've just smiled and turned the other way. But now they just stare, not knowing what to say or do.

But nonetheless, Kenny starts, deciding to pretend the earlier bathroom situation never even happened. “Hey.”

Clyde's poker face slowly melts into the most sloppiness smile in the world. “Hey sugar tits.”

 _He's drunk_.

Kenny frowns. He really wish he could deal with Clyde without him being plastered, but when has fate been kind to Kenny?

...But on the bright side, Clyde isn't tight lipped now, or at least not as much as usual. Maybe Kenny could get something out of him, because boy does Kenny have a lot of questions. It'll be awkward and unsettling, but at least Kenny will, hopefully, understand where the two of them stand in this..whatever this is.

Clyde suddenly grabs Kenny by the bicep and drags him along before he could ask anything.

“Clyde,” Kenny projects his voice, but it still hurts his growing headache like a motherfucker. The brunette doesn't look back, instead he keeps going through the crowd, dragging Kenny along. “Clyde, I gotta go meet up with Craig dude.” The excuse is piss poor, but it's all he has to avoid a potentially awkward moment with Clyde.

But Clyde just flash a grin behind him, taking Kenny upstairs.

Oh shit he's taking Kenny _upstairs_.

“Hey, Clyde…” Christ, his voice sounds too weak. He's giving in and he's giving in quick. “I seriously _can't_ right now.”

Clyde looks back again and his smirk drops. “‘m takin’ you t’Craig, dummy.”

“Oh…” Kenny whispers, passively letting himself be taken upstairs. As convincing as that sounds, Kenny can feel the little wave of doubt settle in his stomach.

Busy meddling in his thoughts, Kenny notices he's in an empty bedroom too late. Wendy's bedroom, obviously, adorned in the obnoxious glitter and girly pink shit.

Kenny's last visual was the devious (albeit drunken) smirk on Clyde's before the room immediately dives into darkness, accompanied with a small but audible click.

“Cly--” Kenny starts, but is interrupted when something smacks right up against his face. Wait, it's wet and soft. And directly on his lips. He's being kissed, foreign hands snaking up Kenny's sides under his shirt.

Kenny raises his hands to push Clyde off but when those warm lips start to nip on his neck, he practically preened.

“Ohhh….shit.” Kenny murmurs, leaning his head to the left, giving Clyde more access. An even warmer and wetter tongue slides out and starts kneading tiny, slow but firm circles. Gripping Clyde's hips, Kenny grinds their pelvis’ together, a half hard on already creating friction against Clyde's mirror image.

Kenny let's out a sigh when Clyde detach from him, but the rest of the air in Kenny washes out from a sharp impact at his back. Even through his shirt he can feel the stubborn coarse carpet texture. He's...lying on his back now?

Yes, apparently drunken Clyde has no consideration nor mercy. Lingering disbelieving thoughts that Clyde fucking tripped him comes to halt when his vision is now clearly adjusted to the dark and taking in the way Clyde is coming at him.

Christ, he's fucking _crawling_ on his knees up Kenny's body, his brown eyes staring intently with a thick cloud of alcohol and lust. He lowers his ass right on Kenny's lap, and Kenny instantly bucks at the delicious weight.

Clyde rolls his hips slowly, the circular, hot friction on Kenny's lap makes him groan and shut his eyes.

Kenny can feel Clyde lean forward, his warm breath tickling Kenny's neck. A wet mouth bites his ear which elicits another groan from Kenny.

"Fuck me, Kenny."

Sexiest three words Kenny has ever heard come out of Clyde.

Kenny moans and starts to grind against Clyde in response, but Clyde slides down Kenny's body and he's directly facing Kenny's bulge.

_If he's going to do what Kenny thinks Clyde's gonna do…_

_Oh fuck yes, he **is**._

Clyde mouths Kenny through his jeans -- sucking and licking -- making a small spot on Kenny's jeans damp. Kenny wants to throw his head back, but he wants to watch Clyde's face, those vibrant eyes hide under dark brown lashes. But dammit he can't even think straight. His ears are thumping and his heart is racing and _damn_  his dick craving for a fix.

Clyde moans against Kenny's crotch, the vibrations sending electric bolts in Kenny. The brunette reaches for Kenny's zipper and pulls--

"-- _Oh fuck~_ "

Kenny and Clyde both freeze in place, looking at each other. That wasn't them...so who--

" _\--Mhm, baby~_ "

The two boys eyes grow wide. The voices are getting louder.

They're coming _this way._

The two scramble to their feet, Kenny zipping his zipper back up and Clyde wiping his mouth of any lingering spit. They dart for the nearby closet and hide just in time for the bedroom door to swing open.

The two are trying to labor their panting while trying to look through the lines of the closet door, squinting to see who's there.

Kenny can only make out a slim figure --probably a girl-- and a larger figure carrying her reverse piggyback style. The large figure, presumably a guy, already has his dick in her. Damn, couldn't wait until they got a room?

" _Oh fuck yes. Oh~"_

Kenny's still watching through the closets opening sliders. How are they going to get out of this situation? Just stand here in this closet and listen to people **fucking**?

Kenny feels a faint tap on his shoulder. He looks down at Clyde who has a...is that a smirk?

Clyde nods to the right, and Kenny turns in that direction, and he's taken aback. This closet is rather spacious….the thick coats and clothes kind of masked the area, so Kenny didn't notice until now. He looks back at Clyde, who's grabbing at Kenny's collar and brings him down for a kiss--

Wait, _no_. Clyde better _not_ be thinking about doing _that_. Not while there's two other people on the other side of the thin door.

Kenny pulls back to see Clyde lick his lips and drag Kenny further in the closet and goddammit he's really doing this??

' _No_.' Kenny mouths and shakes his head to Clyde, who pouts adorably.

' _Why_?' He mouths back.

' _Because they'll hear us.'_

Clyde actually has some decency to consider this.

' _But isn't that the best part?'_

Kenny never pegged Clyde to be voyeuristic. Huh. You learn something new everyday.

But now’s not the time to be learning new things about Clyde. Kenny's turned on in a closet with a drunk and equally turned on Clyde, a single door separating them from a pair of rabbit fucking, possibly drunk, teenagers.

Kenny's getting a sudden rush of adrenaline, and he's freaking out.

He knows the consequences of following along with Clyde -- he'll surely lose the bet, get caught by the two lovers, or both.

...Not like the consequences would be different even if they weren't interrupted, but that's not the point.

Oddly, Kenny likes the possible danger. And having sex with an audience has been on Kenny's to do list anyways, just haven't found willing participants. Now, the couple on the other side didn't give the okay, but Clyde is something different indeed.

He's just as kinky as Kenny is. And it sends a river of pleasure in Kenny's veins. He licks his lips and wonders just what other kinky shit Clyde's into. Maybe bondage, or some spanking? Oh god he'd love to bend Clyde over on his lap, drag his pants down and slap him, and listen to those delicious moans--

Bet or not. Kenny _needs this._

Kenny gives an equally mischievous grin and the two giggle quietly, acting like little kids about to do something stupid.

They kinda are. And it's positively exhilarating.

Clyde drags Kenny down for another kiss, but submits to Kenny all the same. Their tongues sliding against each other is making Kenny feel lightheaded and giddy. Kenny moves even closer to wrap his arms around the boy, and grinds his clothed erection against Clyde's, who tightens his grip on the back of Kenny's shirt and moans.

Kenny stops immediately and puts a finger to his lips, indicating for Clyde to keep quiet.

Instead of a proper response, Clyde's eyelids fall halfway and he absentmindedly bites a corner of his bottom lip, and swiping a tongue across wet it.

God, he's sexy.

They pick up immediately where they left off; Clyde unzips Kenny's pants once again and he guides Clyde to lean against the wall and shed Clyde of his shirt.

There his is. Panting and writhing against Kenny and fucking gorgeous.  
Kenny leans down to lap at Clyde's dusty pink nipple, and is content with the soft but strangled moans. He--

" _Oh yeah, you cocksucker. Fuck me good."_

" _Mhm, you dirty whore. You have filthy mouth, you know that_?"

The two have to pinch each other to stop themselves from laughing. Who knew dirty talk without being apart of the fucking would be so damn hilarious??

Kenny finally calms down and catches eye contact with Clyde. Suddenly his eyes are a bit more chocolate than normal brown. Is he like, sobering up or is Kenny noticing irrelevant things? Clyde at least has the decency to blush at Kenny's lingering eyeballing. However, Kenny pays a bit more attention than he's comfortable with. Clyde's blush starts forming on the bridge on his nose, and spreads like a disease to his cheeks. It's adorable, but the rational part of Kenny's mind is berating him for lingering on trivial things. When did Kenny gets this fucking sappy?

Before anything embarrassing comes out of Kenny's mouth, he leans to steal another ki--

“ _Shh...is someone in here?”_


	16. "Party Like We're Fucking Porn Stars Man" (Part 3)

 

_“Shh...is someone in here?”_

_\----_

Kenny and Clyde pause for the second time that night.

“ _Oh god stop being so fucking paranoid. Your ‘girlfriend’ won't find you here.”_

 _That sounds like Red_ , Kenny muses. He knows how she sounds after sex, a bit rough but sweet and silky. Who is she with?

And more importantly, did the couple hear them?

" _Swear I heard someone._ ”

Kenny hears a bed creaking and an annoyed scoff come from Red. Soft footsteps.

_Coming this fucking way. To the closet._

_Holy shit._

**_Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit._ **

Kenny snaps his head down and watches as Clyde's face distort in horror.

The closet doors handle twists and creaks, slowly pulling outward with a long and loud resounding groan--

And a door slams open. But not the closet door. Kenny's heart almost stops in anticipation.

“ _What the fuck??_ ” A feminine voice shrieks, and it's not Red's. It's a bit deeper and not so squeaky. It's sounds like…

‘ _Nichole_ ’, Clyde's whispered breath brushes against Kenny's neck.

“ _Babe_?” The male voice croaks, that's too close to the door to be comfortable. _Wait...the guy...banging Red was…_

‘ _Token…?_ ’ Kenny and Clyde both murmur disbelievingly in sync.

Harsh beating of high heels make their way across the bedroom and a scream from Red echos.

“ _Nichole, hold on, wait! Hey! Stop!”_ Token's words are scattered and panicky as more than one pair of feet leave the room in a hurry. Token's pleading voice and the curses thrown around slowly loses volume, and Kenny deems it safe to exit the closet and the bedroom with Clyde in tow...a bit too far though. Kenny looks back with a raise of eyebrows, but Clyde just gestures for him to keep going a safe distance between them, creating the illusion that the two weren't at the same place together. Good fucking thinking.

They finally reach the top of the stairs, peering over the banister at the spectacle below.

No one was dancing anymore. No one playing beer pong, no one talking, and no one streaking. Everyone was silently watching the display of Token's ( _ex girlfriend,_ if Kenny was being honest) girlfriend beat the fuck out of Red, who tried desperately to hold up the grey sheets around her naked body and fight back, with the vain help of a very naked Token.

“Nichole! Nichole!” Token raises his voice trying to pry said girl off Red. But she was like a lion, scratching and punching with frightening power. It definitely isn't the standard pulling hair fare. It look as if Nichole is intentionally trying to get Red admitted into a hospital.

Finally, some random guys from the crowd Kenny doesn't recognize jump in, tearing Nichole from her death grip on Red. But the lion didn't didn't take it well -- Nichole continues to thrash and claw at the air.

Kenny takes a good look at Red and _damn is she fucked up_. Millions of scratches from well manicured nails adorn her face, some even trickling with little red dots of blood and patches of red on her bare arms and face threatening to turn into bruises soon.

But Red straightens her back and with and scowl, adjusts her sheet to better shield her. And Token, eventually realizing he's in his birthday suit, snatches the end of the sheet that dragged on the ground to wrap around his lower half.

Damn. Token and Red, huh? Kenny didn't see that coming. Well, considering he was just about to bone Clyde in a closet and…

...and lose the goddamn bet.

Kenny closes his eyes and scolds himself. How could he let that go so far?? He even recollect a moment when he actually thought of the prospect of losing the bet...and the consequences didn't even _faze_ Kenny!

Not only is his self control is waning, his tolerance of everything Clyde is disappearing as well. All it took was a small make out session in the schools bathroom and sexual advances in someone's room to convince Kenny enough of throw the bet away. He has to lodge it in his brain that losing the bet means dating Majorine. And that definitely won't look glorious to Clyde if they really are due for sexy times.

Kenny didn't notice Nichole was screaming words out until he turned his attention back to her.

"-- And don't **fucking** show your ass here ever again, you herpe mouthed bitch!" She growls, looking feral and ready to pounce on Red, even with with two tall burly guys holding her back. Nichole's whole demeanor and tone of voice scares Kenny to bits. One glance behind him at Clyde and he's shivering as well.

There's nothing scarier than a woman's fury.

Nichole wrestles out of the grip from the guys (How in the world of physics is that _possible_?) And the angered girl stomps upstairs, shoving past Kenny and Clyde to disappear in Wendy's room.

The crowd exchange looks of various calibers. There were the disbelieved, the frightened, the confused, and the amused.

Before anyone could move an inch, the she-devil comes out and swoops back down the stairs, but with clothes bundled haphazardly in her arms. Nichole chucks them randomly at Token and Red, with a distinct fire in her eyes.

"And here's your whore clothes, skank!"

Red barely had any time to pick up and sort through the discarded clothes before Nichole lunged forward and pushed the hell out of Red out the wide open front door and into the chilly late-day of outside. Everyone immediately crowd the door and most step outside to get good seats to watch the ending of the show. Kenny does as well, losing sight of Clyde to watch warily. It's like a car crash -- something you shouldn't get in the middle of because it doesn't involve you, and you should look away be on your merry day but it's too mesmerizing to shed your eyes.

Kenny winces when Red receives a particularly harsh push and lands in the six inch snow below. God knows how acquainted Kenny is with the biting cold.

But Nicole shows no mercy when she just stands there and crosses her arms, leaning on one hip and glaring at Red like she's scum on the bottom of her shoe. “Fucking  _whore_. I'm not even surprised. How many other boyfriend's have you slept with?”

Red slowly wobbles to her feet, groaning at her bruises or the cold, Kenny doesn't know. Red gets a hold of her clothes and looks up and at the crowd, embarrassment written all over her face. Kenny almost feels bad for her, if she hadn't said what she said in response:

"What, you mad bitch? That your 'boyfriend' fucks me more than he fucks you?” Red scoffs, a testy smirk playing on her lips. “Please, get that stick out your ass and maybe he'd actually come when he's fucking you.”

It takes five guys this time, including Kenny, to pry Nichole from choking Red.

Nicole once again throws her arms and legs about, and some blows hit Kenny's chest, sending burning sensations and shortness of breath that Kenny would much appreciated he had back. Because it causes him and the other five guys to collapse into the snow.

“Fucking bitch I'll kill you!! I'll fucking kill you!!” Nicole screeches, squirming on the ground with the weight of the people on her and really? All of this over a guy? Nichole is cute -- she could just date someone else. But Kenny guess he wouldn't understand.

"Yeah, what's wrong, hoe? You angry, huh?" Red taunts.

Kenny has half a mind to let Nicole go and get at Red again. Goddamn, when will she shut the hell up and swallow her damn pride already??

But Red continues. "Uh huh, please believe I be riding that dick like a rodeo, and he be telling me how hotter I am." Red even acts out dramatically, moving her body as if she was fighting to stay on top of a bull. The redhead throws her head back and fucking laughs. "Sweetheart, he needs a woman, not a little whiny, petty fucking **child**."

Although she stopped thrashing around and is lying calmly on the ground, Nicole’s pupils scream bloody murder.

“Let me go, Kenny.” She growls through clenched teeth, and that's when Kenny realizes he's the only one left holding Nicole down on the ground. He has a choice. Let her go or continue to pin her down.

“I swear I won't ring her damn neck,” the last words are practically spat out. “Just let me go. I'm tired of fighting.”

At this, Kenny sighs and gets off the girl, helping Nicole off the ground and dusting lingering patches of snow.

Nicole indeed doesn't snap at Red after that, and instead just glares at her. Her eyes look a bit...glossy...Kenny never seen Nicole cry before, and by the way she blinks rapidly, Nicole doesn't intend for him to witness it in the first place.

Nicole breathes in a huge pocket of cold air and huffs it out, still scowling. She scans the crowd, who watches her back with wide and wary looks.

Bebe comes from God knows where in the crowd and approaches Nichole. She whispers something in her ear, and the two walk off the porch.

"Fucking disgusting two faced _slut_." Nicole mutters as she passes Red. But Red just rolls her eyes and stomps back inside Wendy's house, probably to put her clothes back on and prevent herself from frostbite.

Nicole passes Token who apparently (and thankfully) had enough time to slip on his jeans during the disarray.

“Nicky…” Token starts, but Nicole stops him with a solid hand gesture and a stern look.

"Save your fucking breath." Nichole interrupts. "It's over. We're _through_.”

And that was that. Heidi led Nicole to her car and they left the party. Or whatever remained of it.

“Holy shit, dude.” Stan murmurs from the crowd. Holy shit indeed.

Kenny opens his mouth to agree, but he opts to just study Token for his next move. Kenny can't imagine how embarrassing and fucked up this must be for him.

But Token wordlessly grabs his shirt from the ground and retreats to his car as well, driving off without a goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh. I do Token wrong. And I actually really LOVE Token. But the story writes itself...
> 
> God, I SWEAR in the sequel I will redeem Token's character. 
> 
> Yes. You heard me. 
> 
> SEQUEL.


	17. "Party Like We're Fucking Porn Stars Man" (Part 4)

_But Token wordlessly grabs his shirt from the ground and retreats to his car as well, driving off without a goodbye._

\----

Everyone stands there for an awkward moment, not knowing what to do with themselves. But eventually, they all telepathically agree that the cold is too unbearable, and one by one they disperse back into the house, trying to recreate the party scene by amping up the music and booze supply.

As soon as Kenny steps back inside, however, he feels a slap on his shoulder. He turns around to see Craig and his signature frown.

“Oh hey,” Kenny says, not really in the mood to be dealing with Craig, but then something clicks in his brain. “You wanted to to talk to me?”

Craig blinks and motions for Kenny to follow. And to say Kenny started to panic a bit, he won't be lying. The last time he was dragged off to the unknown ended up with horniness, naked angry people and a girl fight. Less than ten minutes ago to be exact.

But they only stop to talk in a corner of the kitchen, where they're still around other people but can comfortably speak without shouting over the music, also privately enough to talk one on one.

“Jesus, man,” Kenny says after a long silence. Craig just grabs an idle red cup filled with something, probably beer, and lean against the wall. “Guess I don't gotta ask you how your nights' been going.”

Craig shrugs and takes a sip. “Was gonna happen sooner or later. Token and Red’ve been fucking for weeks now,” He says in such a chilly tone that leaves Kenny to wonder if Craig even cares. “But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

Kenny sighs. He figured as much. _Bring it on._

“What're doing with Clyde?”

Kenny almost chokes on his own spit. “...What?”

“I said, what are you doing with Clyde? Don't make me have to spell it out for you.” Craig warns, but Kenny's so over it that he shakes his head.

“Why do you _care_?”

But Craig scoffs dramatically, as if _Kenny_ is providing the inconvenience. “Because he's my friend.”

Kenny resists the urge to roll his eyes; when all of a sudden Kenny and Craig had a problem with each other? Not like they're BFF’s, but they do tolerate each other. But now out of the blue, Kenny wishes Craig don't even bother with speaking to him.

They're both acting like prissy bitches. Why, Kenny’ll never know.

But Craig's interrogation kinda hits home for him. What _is_ Kenny doing with Clyde? Trying to get in his pants, for one, but somehow Kenny fees saying that won't fly past Craig so well. _Date_ Clyde sounds equally ridiculous, but for a different reason. Kenny doesn't _date_. And it'd be odd if now all of a sudden Kenny wants to date Clyde, someone Kenny barely knew existed until a week ago.

All of the obvious choices are shitty, so Kenny goes for the next best thing.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Kenny says, poker-faced.

Craig scrunches his nose and his glare intensifies, seemingly tearing into Kenny's soul and ripping at every crevice to search for a real answer. “Bullshit.” He deadpans.

But Kenny keeps up with his facade, shrugging lightly and casting his eyes somewhere else, other than those icy blue irises.

 _By the way…_ “...Where _is_ Clyde?” Kenny voices aloud. He was just beside him during the whole Nichole situation. Where could he have wandered off to?

“Mhm…” Craig hums, and Kenny is briefly terrified Craig will speak of his aversion of the previous topic. But thankfully Craig drops it and joins Kenny on his quick visual search around the room. To no avail, of course. “I dunno. I thought he was with you.”

Kenny shakes his head, despite the increasing tight knot in his stomach tensing. Uh oh. “What...kind of drunk is Clyde?” He asks. Kenny knows first hand how Stan can get when he's drunk -- First he starts being all aggressive as all morals and limitations are pushed aside. Then he's a sobbing emotional mess ready to pass out.

But Kenny has also seen his fair share of absolutely batshit insane drunks. Some of the times Kenny ends up dying of an accident because of some drunk guy nearby.

No, maybe Clyde's okay. Stan is usually fine... _usually_.

“I dunno.”

Kenny's eyes could've shot through his skull. “You don't know how Clyde is when he drinks??” So much for being Clyde's closest friend, but Kenny decides not to voice that little remark.

Craig's upper lip visibly twitches, but doesn't say anything, so Kenny takes that chance to leave to find Clyde. Because Clyde is literally the only reason Kenny's here, and if he left the party or something, then Kenny's leaving as well.

But once again, because no one in this town can't seem to leave poor Kenny alone, there's a small tap on his shoulder. From all the tapping, his shoulder might fall off.

Kenny spins around to see a frowning Kyle, and bites back the retort he had in his throat.

“Hey man,” Kyle's voices sounds like it's been through a cheese grater. “Have y’seen Stan?”

Now that Kenny thinks about it, Kyle looks totally wiped out. His clothes are in disarray (Kenny could've sworn Kyle's belt didn't miss a loop when he first saw him), his hair is mussed up, and...is that _alcohol_ Kenny smell on his breath?

“...Dude…” Kenny says slowly, connecting the dots. “You got laid!”

Kyle instantly blushes and directs the center of his vision to the ground.

“Go ahead, laugh it up why don't you.” Kyle grumbles, pulling Kenny more to the side near the front door to talk in private.

“Oh, I'm having a fucking field day.” Kenny laughs, letting himself be dragged, completely forgetting his original task. The idea of the goodie two shoes Kyle finally getting some was an event that called for celebration.

But wait… “Who did you…” Kenny starts, but his eyes light up. “Was it _Stan_?” Kenny coos.

When Kyle shakes his head no, Kenny's eyebrows start to furrow.

Before Kenny can question further, Kyle immediately interrupts. “Look I...kinda wanna forget about it. _Forever,_ if you don't mind.”

“But--”

“Dude,” Kyle's voice raises a bit, which is a bit startling to Kenny. “Just drop it?” He takes his voice back down a notch.

Kenny slowly nods with a frown, tempted between interrogating Kyle and sympathizing with terrible first times, but he figures Kyle won't appreciate neither.

“Okay fine.” Kenny drags in a playful way, which actually cracks a smile on Kyle's face. If only a bit.

“So, Stan?”

“Nope. I was tryna find Clyde. Looks like we're both missing our hubbies,” Kenny smirks. “But last time I saw him he was with you. Lost him that fucking quick? It's only been like, twenty minutes at the earliest.”

Kyle rolls his eyes at the first comment, but shrugs at the second. “I turned around for a second and he vanished. I tried calling him, but he's not answering.”

Now Kenny has two friends that are drunk off their asses and missing. Where in the hell is everyone disappearing off to?

“Y’know, I think Wendy still has that phone tracker thingy on her cell.”

Kyle coughs out a laugh and starts his way inside the house, Kenny following close behind. “Why am I not surprised she tracks Stan?” He says before he's drowned out by the banging music.

Kenny's just going to have to accept the fact that he'll probably be dragged around for the rest of the night. The mere thought gives him a headache.

As the two navigate through the bodies, Kenny can smell a whiff of weed and vomit. He scrunches his nose at the putrid smell and covers his face. Sometimes he's disgusted with South Park kids. Really, ever since he can remember, the adults have been absolutely fucking trashy, making his parents look like pure saints. And now the next generation is just as shitty, except shittier.

But what else can you do in a quiet little mountain town other than party 'til you die of overdosing? But hey, that's the spirit of partying right? Party like we're fucking pornstars, or some shit like that.

Shaken from his thoughts, a series of curse words echo out from the kitchen. Kenny gets about a half a second to see Kyle's reaction.

“...Well shit.”

Upon approaching the kitchen, Bebe sits on the counter with Wendy standing directly in front of her. They're not exactly screaming, but their argument looks just as intense.

Again? Another damn fight?

Kenny can't even make out what Wendy and Bebe are saying; their words are slurred and unorganized, as if they're just arguing for the sake of it.

“You know what? No, I'm leaving.” Kenny announces to Kyle and he turns around, but is stopped with a small tug on his shirt.

“Wait dude! Stan and Clyde are still missing.”

Kenny shakes his head and gives Kyle a small smile. “Naw, I'll leave finding your husband to you.”

And Kenny walks away, smirking at the distinct sound of Kyle sputtering and derogatory terms being thrown about in the kitchen.

It seemed like eternity to reach the front door, and when Kenny finally breathes in the chilly air, he exhales in relief. Sober partying is the worst, he concluded.

Kenny thinks about trying to search for Clyde again, since he only checked downstairs, but no way is he rejoining the party. If Clyde is still there, Craig will take him home, Kenny reasons. And if Clyde's not...then he must be home? It's way past midday, and Clyde did say something about having to go home early...is it that time already?

Okay then. On his way home Kenny’ll stop by Clyde's house just in case.


	18. "Late Night Swimming and Drunken Stan" (The Party Aftermath)

_Okay then. On his way home Kenny’ll stop by Clyde's house just in case._

\----

He's not home.

Clyde isn't home and Kenny is kind of freaking out right now.

He tried reasoning with himself, saying that he doesn't care that much.

And if he's being honest with himself, he's doing that because he doesn't want to end up admitting something to himself. That he's more invested in Clyde than Clyde is with Kenny's well being.

But really, extracurricular thoughts aside, Kenny cares about each and every one of his friends, he likes to think. Even though he calls them all assholes and uncle fuckers, he cares dammit.

So when he's faced with the fact that Mr. Donovan told him that Clyde isn't home makes chills run up and down Kenny's stomach as he walks off Clyde's porch step.

What if Clyde's _lost? Hurt?_ Lying in a ditch somewhere, sobering up and _alone_? Everyone fucking knows Clyde is super emotional; He'd cry before he'd find a way back home.

Kenny wants this day to end. He through with it. Over. Finished. Clyde is fine. So whatever.

But when Kenny arrives to his own abode, and enters his room, there's Clyde, passed out on Kenny's bed.

“Dude.“ Kenny half laughs, half sighs. And to think Kenny was worrying his head off. Of course Clyde's fine. Now, as for why he's crashing at Kenny's and not Craig's house, he don't know. But that can wait until Clyde wakes up --

“Mhm...Kennyyyy?”

Kenny snorts at the timing, and sits on the end of his bed, watching Clyde sit up and rub his eyes. “Well hey sleeping beauty. You barely stayed at the party.”

Clyde hums, and after a small second, he sends an apologetic smile. “S’rry. I jus’ got reaaally tired. Can I crash here?”

Kenny nods. “Craig is looking for you.” But he omits the fact that they had a talk. Clyde must be dealing with a sour headache right now, and doesn't need too much of information to sink in at once. It wasn't even a notable conversation anyway, and Kenny kind of wishes it never even happened.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

Clyde groan and flops back down on the mattress. “Y’know, I imagined your room to, like, have a bunch of pornos lying around. Half naked girls on posters don't count.”

Ah, this is Clyde's first time in Kenny's room. Well, at his house in general. “I decided to clean up last second.”

“That's sound kinda dirty to me.” Clyde comments with a wink and smile.

Kenny smirks. “Who do you think use to sell magazines back in the seventh grade?”

“Holly shit, that was you? Badass!”

Hell yeah it was badass. Kenny remembers, and without getting into too much detail, he had to jump of the school's rooftop to get away from an angry mob of horny ninth and fifth graders. Long story.

Clyde huffs and turns to lie on his left side, facing Kenny and looking up. At least he looks semi sober. There's...a weird look in his eyes, actually. Something's there...it's familiar yet odd to Kenny...

“I'm bored. Let's do something.”

There's no mistaking it now. When Clyde says let's do something, he means sex.

And in the back of Kenny's mind, he wonders if Clyde recalls what happened earlier in Wendy's bedroom.

But back on subject, Kenny has to steer this before it gets heated. This can't advance at ALL.

Thankfully, someone loves him, and Kenny remembers something that can save him.

The surprise Kenny planned for Clyde when they sat to eat at Shakey's. He still has that on his to do list.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Clyde's eyebrows furrow in thought, probably wondering why Kenny obviously turned down the advance, but a second later his eyes brighten in interest. “A surprise?”

“Mhm hm. To make up for fucking up yesterday and the day before.” And he doesn't elaborate. Instead, Kenny reaches under his bed and palms the carpet, until he feels a small tattered box and pulls it out.

Clyde leans up and stares intently, curious, and Kenny smiles. He's so adorable it's almost criminal.

He shifts through photographs and papers, all begging to be picked up and examined to bring back memories, but that's not what he's looking for. Kenny touches the wire ring and pulls it out, a single light blue key dangling on it.

“A key?” Clyde asks impatiently.

“Not just _any_ key,” Kenny challenges, jumping off the bed with Clyde wobbling in tow. “It's the key to the school pool.”

Kenny walks out his room, missing the shocked look on Clyde's face, but he doesn't need to see it to know it's there. “How'd you get _that_??”

Kenny exits and closes the front door to his house behind Clyde, and starts the lead to the school. “You remember Christophe, right? He had a whole arsenal of keys to the school, and let us sneak in when we met for a meeting or something. Let me have the pool key.” He explains. He misses Christophe a bit, but ever since Christophe died...and then resurrected…and then moved, there wasn't room for any contact, sadly.

The two talk idly about the party and joking about Clyde's drunkenness, intentionally avoiding the topic about what happened earlier in the bathrooms. At least Kenny got to fill in the hour long walk with an engaging summary of the Nichole/Red/Token fight. Apparently Clyde only remembered bits and pieces, since he was wasted, and left the party shortly after anyway. He also remembers his bold actions before the fallout, and laughs it off as if he was just a kid back then and naive. And Kenny laughs along, wholly grateful but conflicted with concern. As much as he likes ignoring things and letting it go by, he doesn't exactly enjoy putting things on a back burner when here urgent and important to discuss. 

But they're about to have some fun, not think about complicated shit.

When they finally reach the school, Kenny unlocks the side door and enters the dark and eerily silent building. At least it's warmer inside than the freezer-like temperature of outside.

The two, with Kenny leading, make their way through the locker rooms to the swimming pool in the back of the school. It's dangerously dark, so the two intruders stick to the wall.

Clyde goes on ahead, though, and disappears into the storage room while Kenny makes his way closer to the pool. It's oddly a pretty sight -- the small light coming from the little window to the left giving the pool an illuminated sparkle to its soft dark blue waves.

Kenny almost wants it to stay that way until suddenly the pool lights switch on (rather loudly, he adds) and the pool is lit up in its usual sky blue tone. Clyde emerges from the storage room and gives Kenny a dopey thumbs up and goofy smile. Kenny grins back and sheds himself of his clothes, leaving his dark grey boxers on and jumps into the pool--

\--And immediately regrets it.

Goddamn, the pool is colder than the snowy chill outside!

Kenny turns himself to see Clyde standing there with a half sleepy face and an impish grin.

"Gonna join or what?" Kenny asks.

"You're crazy."

Crazy as in, for breaking in? Or crazy for jumping in the school pool at around like, nine something o’clock? Kenny doesn't know, and he doesn't ask.

Clyde rolls his eyes and starts to unbutton his blue pajama shirt. "Yeah, strip for me." Kenny purrs, splashing water at Clyde's feet to get him to hurry the fuck up.

"Don't you fucking dare, you ass." But Clyde is finally topless and shoves his pants down, taking his shoes with him.

"You mean _your_ ass?"

"You're running out of innuendos, aren't you?"

Kenny opens his mouth to answer, but whatever excuse he has dies in his throat when he gets a pleasant eyeful of Clyde's almost bare body. Kenny makes sure he makes his eyeballing obvious when he visually trace the soft curve of Clyde's waist, his tan skin almost akin to a molten gold in the small moonlight. Clyde isn't exactly skinny, but not fat as he use to be back then. It was a nice medium between the two terms, chubby but not too chubby to look like either Cartman or feminine.

One thing that Kenny sees now that Clyde's almost bare is the surgical stitches aligned not-so in the center of his stomach. Kenny wants to ask about it, but he smirks at Clyde's pale face. Clyde clears his throat as if it can chase away the embarrassing moment.

"Is the pool warm enough?"

Kenny holds back a laugh and nods. "Yeah." He lies.

And he watches in amusement when Clyde takes a few steps back, runs, and jumps in full body into the icy cold water, and comes back up shivering.

"Y-you fucker," Clyde's growls, hugging himself. What makes Kenny laugh though, is his chattering teeth.

Kenny feigns an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Clyde. But it was worth it. Your reaction was priceless." And he falls back into laughter at Clyde's pout…

...but the laughter stops immediately when Kenny feels a wave of cold water hit his skin, and he jump and hiss at the sting. He gives Clyde a glare for splashing him, but the asshole only grins.

Instead of yelling at him, Kenny splashes Clyde back, and receives the same treatment, until the great splashing war commenced. And the two couldn't help but laugh at their own childishness and at how fun this turned out to be.

With the constant resistance of the dense water, Kenny's arms start to ache, and he slowly stops splashing around to swim over to the edge of the pool, Clyde following suit. Now warming up to the extreme temperature of the water, the two stay in the pool, their arms crossed on the edge, letting their legs slowly swim idly.

"Y'know, you never answered my question." Clyde breaks the silence.

"Uh...what was the question?"

"Why are you suddenly hanging out with me?"

That's true -- Kenny never graced Clyde with an explanation...or a lie in that case. But now...Kenny doesn't want to lie. Not to Clyde. But he doesn't want to tell Clyde about the bet either. At this point, if he told him, it'll look like Kenny was using Clyde for his means. And it was like that...in the beginning. Now, it's a different story. Clyde isn't so much of a distraction anymore. He's a companion. As much of a best friend as Stan, Kyle, and Cartman.

But even though he considers Clyde to be a friend, he also doesn't want to let Clyde in on the bet. Not only will it seem as if Clyde was used to win a couple of bucks for a fake friendship, Clyde talks. A lot. And Kenny already resolved into letting as few people as possible know about the bet. Stan and Kyle already jab at Kenny and he doesn't even know about Cartman (once that fat ass start becoming absent, you already know he's planning something. And nothing good). Just thinking about what people will do if they knew Kenny couldn't have sex for a while. They'd try so hard to make him lose that even Kenny would've just forfeit. Too much of a headache and strain.

But...Kenny feels like here's something else to this equation, but he just can't figure out exactly _what_.

When Kenny doesn't provide anything else, Clyde continues. "Did you get in a fight with your friends?"

"...No, not exactly. I just...realized I never really knew you. I mean, I know the basics and all. But it's weird that I know more about everyone else but not you, y’know? So I thought...maybe we could hang."

It wasn't a complete lie. Kenny use to be in the dark when it came to Clyde, which was a big deciding factor when choosing a buddy for the month. And he still would be clueless if it wasn't for the bet. But that doesn't mean Kenny dislikes or regrets hanging with Clyde. He was, in fact, having the time of his life. It was a pleasant change from his mundane life of eat, sleep, fuck, rinse and repeat.

And the fact that the two never even had sex, but Kenny still formed some kind of close relationship with Clyde with thus much sexual tension, astounds him.

It's almost like how he became best friends with Cartman, Kyle and Stan. Crazy how those three were all that Kenny thought he'd ever have.

Kenny almost misses Clyde's eyebrow rising, probably questioning silently why Kenny dodged the heart of the question, but he thankfully keeps it to himself and the two relax in comfortable silence, just listening to the soft hum from machinery in the storage room and enjoying each other's company. Yes, this was much easier. Less thinking, and more relaxing.

"Well I'm...glad you decided to chill with me. I like hanging out with you." Clyde whispers, as if his words could break something. And it kinda does -- Kenny's brain short-circuits, an odd shiver races down his spine at the warm words. He blames it on the water, but in the back of his mind, he knows that's not the case.

"Me too." Kenny says almost as softly.

Instantly, the air around them becomes tense. It's a sudden and unexpected change, and it makes Kenny feel weird.

All they said was they enjoyed each other's presence these past few days.

That's it.

_So why did it sound so much more?_

Kenny can't take the thick atmosphere. He'd suffocate. So he sighs and moves to jump out the pool. "I think that's enough swimming for a day. Let's crash at your place." Because Kenny refuses to walk another hour tread back home when Clyde's house is less than half an hour away. Damn that. Besides, Kenny doesn't want to sleep alone tonight. And he's getting the same vibes from Clyde.

Kenny walks to his pile of clothes and slips his white button up, orange parka and jeans, slightly surprised that Clyde doesn't follow suit. There's something odd about his facial expression too…

It's too late. Clyde already splashed water at Kenny's pant leg, soaking it.  
Kenny glares at Clyde. "Did you really just do that, you little sleaze?”

Clyde just shrugs and jumps out the pool.

But Kenny wants revenge.

He only means to soak Clyde's shirt, but the shirt and pants look so alike, and it was too late to take it back when Kenny tosses both Clyde's shirt and pants in the pool.

Clyde stares blankly at his soaked clothes floating in the pool before he eerily turns slowly to face Kenny with a gaping mouth.

"Who's the sleaze now??"

"Oops." Kenny's half smirk of apology doesn't match his words.  
Surprising enough, Clyde just snorts and retrieves his wet clothes. "Great. How am I gonna walk all the way home in this? I'll die of hypothermia!"

Kenny laughs all the way out the pool room, to the side door. But really, he kinda feels bad for throwing all of Clyde's clothes into chlorine and making him walk out the room in nothing but his equally wet boxers and squishy shoes. So when they reach the door that takes them outside, Kenny sheds his orange parka jacket and tosses it to Clyde, who barely catches it.

But Clyde pouts at the hospitality. "Am I some girl in a romance novel now?"

Kenny laughs, but doesn't disagree.

Since they're half soaken wet, the two race down the street, laughing like maniacs against the wind and snow all the way to Clyde's house. How Kenny didn't die of hypothermia, he'll never know.

Kenny approaches the front door, but Clyde stops him.

"Dude. We can't go through the front."

"Why not?"

"What if my dad hears? He barely let's Craig spend nights over, let alone let me stay out late.”

Kenny opens his mouth to retaliate, to say that Clyde didn't go straight home in favor of a party and Kenny's house with no problem, but Clyde nudges the blond towards the side of the structure and points to a window.

"That's my bedroom window, right there, see?" Clyde simply says, but Kenny knows exactly what he's suggesting. Not having the spirit to start arguing, Kenny heaves out a shaky sigh and helps Clyde pull their trashcan to the wall right under the window.

Kenny jumps on top and makes a step stool using his hands for Clyde, who jumps up and successfully balances himself of Kenny's shoulders, leaning against the wall for additional steadiness.

The brunette teen lifts the window up painfully slow, and Kenny wants to complain about his shoulders and back aching. Finally, he gets a small update on progress.

"I think I can climb in and bring you up too. Just gimme a boost."

Kenny looks up on instinct and smirks at the view he gets, instantly forgetting their situation.

"Y'know, I've got a spectacular view of your ass from down here."

"Oh god Kenny, just boost me." Clyde huffs breathlessly, trying to hop up without knocking them both out of balance.

Kenny chuckles. "M'kay" and he brings his palm up and gives Clyde's ass a loud, satisfying slap.

Clyde squeaks in an unmanly way and jumps at the sudden contact, but the jump is enough to get him through the window, but less gracefully than he would've liked.

Kenny waits for only a few seconds before he sees a faded dark blue cloth snake out of the window. He gives it a cautious tug before he starts to climb up the wall, Clyde and his bedroom coming into view--

\--as well as Clyde's father in the background, standing outside the room and at the doorway, with a shocked but confused look on his face.

"Okay, you good?" Clyde breathes, and Kenny fights the urge to laugh when he realizes that Clyde doesn't know his dad is watching. All Kenny does is climb in and point towards the door. "Uhm..."

Clyde raises an eyebrow, and turns around to see what Kenny is pointing at...and he freezes in place when his eyes lock onto his father's.

There's a silence that's more than awkward. Kenny observes the quiet exchange between father and son, wondering just how shocking it must be to wake up to noises and see your half naked son wearing another guy's clothes sneaking in the house with said boy in his bedroom at nine or ten at night.

"I-I...W-we uhh..." Clyde stutters, trying to come up with an excuse for the odd situation, but his father raises his hand to stop him.

"No no, I've seen enough." Clyde's father grumbles, probably between disappointed and baffled.

"D-dad, it's not--"

" _McCormick_ ," His father interrupts Clyde once again, but the stern gaze is directed to Kenny. He even has an accusing finger pointed right at the blond. "Use protection."

Kenny fights a laugh with a smile as he sees Clyde's face distort in horror. "Will do, sir." Kenny salutes.

Clyde's dad nods, takes one last lingering glance at the two, and retreats back into his own room. And this is when Kenny let's out a snicker at the mortified look on Clyde's face.

"Your dad's cool." Kenny chuckles.

"I hate you both."

But even Clyde can't resist a laugh if his own, as the two take off their shoes and lie in Clyde's warm bed, their now dry boxers heating up under the covers from their adventure.

\----

Dealing with two arguing women was the hardest thing Kyle ever had to do. 

Thankfully their fighting doesn't last long, because without backup, preferably, Kenny's, Kyle doesn't know how much longer he'll survive.

But the girls take the time to stop biting at each other with words and answer Kyle, saying Wendy doesn't have the tracker on her phone anymore.

Kyle checks upstairs, then downstairs, upstairs, and downstairs again in a fruitless search for Stan. He should have never even taken his eyes off of Stan for a split second. And to think Kyle was busy off...

Kyle stops his train of thought right there. No, he doesn't want to think of who he had sex with. No way in hell. He'll let Stan know, if he shows up again and is sober enough to handle the news. _If he even comes back._

Panicking out of his mind and with nothing else tying him down to the party, Kyle leaves and gets home in time for his curfew. Thankfully, his parents and Ike are sleep, so he won't get an earful on being late by twelve minutes.

As soon as his feet hit the grey carpet of his room, Kyle pulls out his phone and goes through his contacts, listing off people in head that could know where Stan went. It's worth a shot.

Right when he's about to call Majorine, Stan's name pops up and it's all he needs.

"Stan?? Where the hell are you, dude?" Kyle answers, pacing the floor. Although now he's in the phone with him, The frustration of not knowing where and what's happening to Stan will drive Kyle crazy one day.

\----

"I'm..." Stan looks around, his blurry vision refusing to focus and he gives up. "I'unno. I think...my room?" He slurs.

 **"** _...Are you drunk?"_

Stan burps before responding. "Jus'a lil' bit."

Stan almost misses the annoyed sigh from Kyle because he's too busy trying to keep himself upright. "What happened?" The voice asks from the phone he held.

"...W-Wendy moved on." Stan chokes, but he's a bit more relieved. He's happy he has such an amazing friend to confide in...

...wait a minute...

"...Kyle, are we still super best friends?"

Kyle snorts at the childish title.

" _Yeah. Yeah, we still are."_

"I don't feel so good..."

" _You'll feel better in the morning. Now, you said you're in your room?"_

"Yeah." Stan starts, but his throat is heating up and it feels scratchy. "She said she's done with me. I...I know I broke it off...but I don't wanna be alone, Kyle."

_"You're not alone. I'm here."_

"Thanks."

_"I need you to do something for me, Stan. I need you to find your bed and lie down on it. On your side, not your back, got it?"_

" 'm not an idiot." Stan mumbles before he realizes he's actually sitting on his bed right now. He slowly complies and rests his body on his right side, facing his wall.

" _I know you're not an idiot, Stan."_

"What am I gonna do, Kyle? 'Mhm so confused. I don't think I really...love her...but I don't wanna be alone...not alone..." He's repeating himself, but he can't really be blamed. His body is slowly relaxing over the soft mattress and his eyelids are getting heavy.

" _I know, Stan. Are you on your side?"_

"Y'didn't get it. I meant I really feel alone, Kyle."

" _Ah. Sorry. Are you on your side yet?"_

"Are you gonna leave me, too?" He has to ask, just to be sure.

_"Never. So are you lying down now or are you just gonna keep this up?"_

Stan nods.

_"Stan?"_

"Uh huh."

" _Okay. Now hang up the phone and close your eyes."_

"Do you love me, Kyle?"

Silence was his answer. His head is cloudy from all the shots he downed and the world around him is starting to go black. An increasingly loud but faint buzzing noise caress his ears.

_"Yeah, I love you. Idiot."_

"Mhmm...me too. I love you too, Kyle...even though you're a piece of shit.” Stan mumbles before sleep claims his consciousness, the faint sound of chuckling rocks in his ears.

He decides that the laughter is a pleasant sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Party saga DONE BITCHES.
> 
> But God did this one take time. I still don't think it's perfect, but I'm still in pacing and choreographing and all the stupid shit. Bear with me.
> 
> But now I can slow it down. Hopefully this made up for the month long absence. 
> 
> Next chapter is coming much more sooner than a whole month, I promise. In fact, I think I can jump back into my one update a week schedule. Let's see how that'll fit into my life, eh?
> 
> Until then, I love you all. It sounds like I'm repeating myself over and over again, but really, you don't know how much each and every one of you mean to me. I don't even have to know you all personally to see how amazing you all are! ♡♡♡


	19. "Teasing and Bacon Strips"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Life:** Good day Nately  
>  **Nately:** Good day.  
>  **Life:** Y’know that story of yours on AO3? The one you thought you posted the latest chapter ages ago but it saved as a draft instead?  
>  **Nately:**...Yeah? So? I plan on posting it in the beginning of October.  
>  **Life:** Well that's very unfortunate, because I plan on sending a hurricane in your immediate vicinity this weekend. You'll have to postpone it AGAIN to the second week of October.  
>  **Nately:** Oh okay. Thanks, Life, for ruining everything.  
>  **Life:** Anytime sweetie

Kenny's eyes are forced open when the annoyingly blinding light attacks his eyelids. He groan and wonder why the black sheet he uses on his window could let any light when he realizes he is not in fact in his room, but in someone else's.

Ugh, and what's that _smell_? It's like bleach, but watered down. Is it...it's chlorine...

Last night starts to flood in Kenny's memory as he twists his body to see Clyde's sleeping form facing away from Kenny, in only his boxers.

Kenny lets the remaining sleepiness seep out with a loud huff and shakes Clyde lightly.

The boy doesn't wake. "Clyde," Kenny almost wince at the raspy sound his vocal cords produce. "Clyde, wake up."

Finally, it's enough to make the boy stir and groan awake.

The brunette stretches in his position by curling backwards to let out satisfying pop of his bones and he gutters a low moan. The way he unfolds and purr reminds Kenny of a cat just waking up.

Damn. If this is how Clyde wakes up, Kenny can't help but store away 'morning sex' for future reference.

Clyde twists so he's facing Kenny, his face inches from the blond. He smiles wryly, which looks kinda dumb with his almost completely shut eyes. "G'morning."

Kenny scrunch his nose. "Your breath stinks."

Clyde laughs, and whether it was on purpose so Kenny could smell more of his terrible morning breath or he finds Kenny's comment innocently funny, to hell if he know.

"I gotta take a piss." Clyde says as he climbs off the bed while Kenny just opt to sit up on his elbows, watching Clyde walk to the bathroom as faucet water starts.

So...is like...are they a thing now? Like soon-to-be fuck buddies? Kenny, surprisingly, never had one, since he tends to seperate his friends from his bed mates (or at least the bed mates he frequently go to). This is all new for Kenny, and he wonders if it's the same for Clyde...

 

Or maybe if you'd just fucking talk to him, everything would be cleared up. Craig would stop asking stupid questions, Clyde would know about the bet and support Kenny until it's over, and everything would be peachy cool.

But what's wrong with Kenny? Why can't he seem to take the hesistance away?

"You sleep in your boxers?" Kenny calls out, but not too loud that it'll escape outside the room. Moving away from the depressing train of thought, Kenny looks around Clyde's room in full light. And damn is it fucking sweet -- a built in private bathroom is simply awesome. He can only imagine that Clyde's dad has his own in his room, giving each other privacy Kenny never have with his family.

The water stops and Clyde walks out the bathroom, wiping his mouth.  
"I sleep naked. But you were here..."

"Oh." Kenny simply says, despite his peaking interest. Well this is new. Clyde sleeps naked? As in 'boxer' naked or 'bare as the day he was born' naked? Kenny hopes for the latter, for Clyde in absolutely nothing in bed proves to be a rather pleasant image in Kenny's mind.

"Oh Kenny, how _lewd_." Clyde teases. He makes his way to his bed again, but doesn't climb back on. Hm? What's he doing?

Kenny watches as Clyde bends down to pick something up -- a clothing article of some sort. Clyde starts to put it on and that's when Kenny realises it's a white button up shirt --

\-- _Kenny's_ white button up shirt.

Clyde smirks and fuck he doesn't even close the shirt. And it makes it sinfully erotic that Kenny's a bit taller than Clyde, so consequently the shirt stopped to the middle of Clyde's thigh, encasing rather rounded soft looking thighs.

Oh _lord._

"I need something to cover up with. You wouldn't mind me using your shirt, right?" The devil in sheep's clothing murmurs and spins around, making sure Kenny got an eyeful of Kenny's shirt hugging Clyde's adorable ass as he disappears once more into the bathroom.

Goddammit.

He's teasing him.

Fucking **fuck**.

But..no...

Kenny knows better than to act on it. He learned his goddamn lesson and refuses to repeat his advances. Expecting different results would be a psychopaths line of thought. Kenny may be a lot of things, but batshit insane isn't one of them.

 

Kenny is so disappointed at himself for even _wanting_ to hold up his end of the bet. Yeah, he's doing this for his own personal self confidence and self control, but he's a teenage boy! No teenage boy should be subjected to such **torture**!!

Damn this bet and everything it stands for. Yep, you heard him. Kenny's blaming the bet. It's all the bet's fault. The bet started all of this fuck shit. 

And now...

...Well...

Kenny sighs and drags his right hand to comb through his knotted locks. What the fuckto do now? Should he leave? Kenny didn't exactly have a smooth run in with Clyde's father last night, so would it seem inconvenient if Kenny stayed a bit longer? Not that Kenny wants to stay longer because of Clyde, but because he'd get to use his shower to wash off the chlorine. Right. 

 

Just then, Clyde walks back in, still clad in Kenny's clothes. (Ugh, what Kenny would do if he was allowed to drag his fingers over that tanned, delicate skin. To feel the fabric of his familiar clothes on he back of his hand as his palms explored unfamiliar territory. Mark the soft looking skin with kisses...)

He's also carrying something -- is that soda?

Clyde hands Kenny one of the Dr. Peppers he had. The two sits on Clyde's bed and drink in silence.

Coke in the morning? It's a bit strong on Kenny's palate, considering the time of day, but it's better than nothing.

Clyde remains silent, but Kenny notices he's taking small subtle glances at the blond, as if he wants to say something. But since he won't, Kenny decides to take the pedestal. Maybe I'd remedy the odd situation of waking up smelling like chlorine with someone in your bed.

“You, uh...we're pretty drunk last night..." Kenny starts, seeing no other smooth way to go about this. "D'you remember anything?"

Clyde takes a second to look inside his can and smirk. "I remember the pool."

Kenny smirks along with him. "What about that shit with Nicole?"

"Bits and pieces, but hell yeah."

Kenny'ssmirk slightly falters, confused at the wishy washy feeling in his stomach at the events right before the fight. Kenny opens his mouth, but closes it. How does one even bring up something like what happened IN Wendy's room? 'Oh, and you wouldn't happen to remember you whoring yourself on top of me in someone's room, yes?' 

Okay, Kenny's exaggerating a bit, but it's still a pretty socially unacceptable thing to bring up. He'll wait until Clyde decides to say something about it. An if he wants to talk about them hooking up in the future, then they can.

So instead, Kenny asks, "So like, do you have a headache? Need anything?" Kenny knows nothing of the layout of Clyde's house, but it's worth a shot in the dark. Anything to escape this quiet moment.

"Naw. If I take something, Dad will know."

Understandable. Kenny prefers Karen not to know when he's drunk.

Kenny nods and crawls out of bed rather begrudgingly. "Welp, I guess I'll take my leave..."

Kenny looks up at Clyde to read his expression, and it's rather complex; Clyde's busy staring at the brown carpet below, biting his bottom lip and dipping his eyebrows in thought. 

Kenny turns back around to locate his shoes and other extremities--

"...Can you stay for breakfast?"

\--Kenny stops dead in his search, pivoting slowly to face Clyde, who's face goes from concentration to flustered in less than a second.

"I mean!" Clyde exclaims, frowning. "You can if you want to...Dad cooks a lot and I hate leftovers...but you don't have to stay, really..."

And he continues to ramble, unaware of it. It's quite endearing, Kenny decides, and he can't stop the smile from spreading across his face.

"Of course." Kenny interrupts, and Clyde coughs.

Clyde smiles sheepishly. “…yeah...cool."

 

And right on cue, a deep voice rumbles from downstairs. “Clyde! Breakfast’s ready!” The two boys immediately dash out the room at the sound of food. Kenny hasn't eaten since...well, he skipped yesterday, didn't he? Ended up molesting Clyde in the bathrooms the whole lunch period, and then straight to the party.

Oh god. Kenny doesn't want to be reminded of the hanging question that even he don't know what it is exactly. 

When they enter the kitchen, Kenny's shoulder slump at the sight. He can still see little aesthetic decorations that only a woman makes to her home. Pretty harmonious colors of yellow and brown, from the flower pot to the drapes adorn the kitchen. Family portraits, two of them, both feature Clyde, his dad, and his mom.

Kenny, in his entire lifetime, rarely went inside the Donovans home. Barely even knew Mrs. Donovan. But seeing the aesthetics of what remain of her leaves a chilling yet home-y feeling in him. Even after her death, years later, Kenny can tell the two men never changed a thing, and for a purpose.

Kenny takes a seat beside Clyde, who is already digging in his grub. Mr. Donovan is just now taking a seat in front of his own plate, seemingly intent on not making eye contact. 

Kenny looks down at his respective plate and is actually shocked Clyde's dad even made him one. Two strips of bacon, a slab of sausage, scrambled eggs, and four pancakes with the syrup bottle at the middle of the table.

To them, breakfast. To Kenny, a five star buffet.

"So... _Kenneth_ ,” Mr. Donovan starts, and the two boys tense at the bass of his voice. _God, he's so intimidating._ “How was your day yesterday?"

Code for: _What were you doing with my son yesterday?_

Kenny takes one glance at Clyde, but he remains expressionless, pacing at his food and waiting for Kenny's answer.

“Well, we swam a bit. At the school pool.”

Half the truth. Kenny doesn't mind acknowledging Clyde's earlier remark about wanting his dad oblivious to his drinking. A sly glance at Clyde and he's smiling down at his bacon. Good, it seems like Kenny's started off in the clear.

But Mr. Donovan raises an eyebrow in total confusion. “The school? How'd you get in?”

Kenny doesn't self snitch. “I do volunteer work at the school.” He lies.

Clyde's dad face beams. “Oh, like actual work?” Kenny almost visibly frowns at the backhanded insult. Maybe he didn't mean to basically call Kenny a deadbeat. “What type of work do you do?”

Kenny smirks and keeps his eyes on Clyde, but still directs his answer to the older man adjacent to him. "Well, I'm pretty good with my hands..."

 **Totally worth it**. The brunette's face go red like a tomato. Yeah, it's super dangerous to throw innuendos but Kenny just can't help it.

 _Good with my hands indeed._ Kenny praises himself at the amazing delivery.

And Clyde's dad is none the wiser. He actually hums in approval and spares Kenny his piercing glare. "That's good. Are there any open spots? Clyde could pitch in."

Clyde looks as if he's about to crawl under the dinner table and disappear, but he just opts to growling at his father. But Kenny's confident. Clyde's dad is bold and straight to the point indeed, but it does not make Kenny waver nor blink. The blond wastes not a single beat in reply.

"I could, for Clyde, but I kinda _suck_ at that sort of thing.”

Oops. Kenny put too much emphasis on the word, and now Mr. Donovan’s frowning now, and it makes his skin crawl. Kenny looks at Clyde for some type of help, but the brunette is as frozen as he is.

" _Right_." His father deadpans, and he grabs his plate, which still has food on it, and disappears upstairs.

“Well, I officially caused your dad to want to eat alone in his room. Did I do well?” Kenny ask curiously, as he shovels the rest of his eggs in record time.

“Well, he didn't throw you out or call the cops, so I think my dad _really_ likes you.” Clyde rolls his eyes, chewing on his last bacon strip.

And Kenny finds himself okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so stupid. I come back to this story and see the latest chapter is still considered a draft, not even published. Please forgive me of this amateur mistake!
> 
> As consolation, the next chapter will be out this fucking week. I promise. Even if I have to walk to the library and type it out around other people. Because a month long wait between chapters is completely unacceptable to my personal standards goddammit. 
> 
> On a much lighter note, anybody watched the first few episodes of South Park's new season?? I'm not gonna spoil it, but goddamn, goddamn, goddamn...what a great fucking few episodes it's been so far.


	20. "Wendy's and Going Bom Bom Bom"

Stan wastes no time in diving for his cell phone when it finally rings.

"Kyle?" He immediately starts, and he wince at the volume of his voice. One would think that with as much alcohol Stan consumes on the regular, he'd be used to the mind numbing hangover that comes along with it.

" _Hey..."_

Stan lets out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding. "Goddamn finally! I've been trying to get a hold of you for like, an hour! Where are you??"

 _"Uhm..."_ And he hears shuffling in the background. _"At Wendy's."_

Wendy's? “Oh. This early?”

_“Yeah.”_

“Cool,” Stan smiles. A cold shake is just what he needs. “Could you get me two vanilla shakes? I'd owe you.”

There's a long strand of silence. _“...Huh? No...dude, not at Wendy's. I mean Testaburger's.”_

And now it's Stan's turn to pause. Wendy's house? Still? It's ten in the morning! Why is...

...Holy shit.

The more he tries to swallow, the more the stinging sensation of bile rise in Stan's throat. "...Kyle...Did you...?"

A series of choked coughs interrupts Stan. _"Wait, you think I...Oh Jesus Christ Stan! I didn't sleep with Wendy, dude!"_ Kyle exclaims, his voice sounding raspy, but beyond surprise and disbelief.

Stan exhales. He still worry that he may need a toilet or wastebasket though.

"Sorry..." Stan apologizes. How silly of him to think Kyle hooked up with Wendy? The two do have their differences, but they know each other too much.

But even so, it's still unnerving to think that maybe, with all the time passed, come and gone, Stan's relationship with Kyle hasn't been like it was a decade ago. They both grew up so much. Yeah, they've been lucky enough to grow up together, but people change.

And that could make or break friendships.

"Then...why are you still there?"

 _"I..."_ A snore sounds through the speaker, and then more shuffling. What is going on in there? _"Stan, I actually can't talk right now. But...it's something huge."_

"What's wrong?" Stan asks cautiously. With every passing second, he's getting more and more concerned. Not exactly helping his hangover.

_"Let's talk later. I'll be at your house by noon."_

Okay, Kyle's freaking Stan out a bit. Stan barely remembers last night, but he could've sworn he spoke to Kyle at some point. And if something was wrong at the time, Stan would've definitely remembered. From his point of view, everything was fine until this morning. So something must've happened before Stan woke up from his bed this morning, but after he passed out drunk.

Should he keep pressing on? Or should he just wait until later? What if the situation was like in the movies, and Kyle was actually in a seriously dangerous place with dangerous people and they're holding Kyle hostage?? They could be holding the phone and a fucking gun to his head, holding up cue cards that choreograph his every word, to convince Stan he's alright??

_“You watch too much TV.”_

Oh. Did he say all that out loud?

“Oh quiet you,” Stan scolds, and moves to look at the time on his phone. “Right now it's 10:30. Be here by 11 or I'm looking for you.”

 _“R-tard.”_ But Stan can practically hear the smile behind the words. And Stan lets the smile threatening his lips do their thing as well.

Memories he thought he never visit again are flooding like a tidal wave. Maybe when Kyle comes over, they could do a little photo album session? Stan knows where it is now, after rigorous searching once upon a time. Kyle would call him a total girl again, but Stan's feeling oddly reminiscent today. And he can tell Kyle is as well.

God, how weird can someone be to party all night, worry the fuck out of your best friend, still have questions unanswered, but want to look through a photo album?

“Piece of shit. And you better still get me those shakes.”

 _“Well duh.”_ And the call ends.

Stan is still confused and worried out his mind. He doesn't know what he's going to do about Wendy. He still has to check up on Kenny about the bet. He still has to sit down with Kyle and talk about what happened last night.

But all of that doesn't matter when you've got your super best friend.

\----

The two boys empty their plates and spray sink water to wash away remains of their breakfast, and head back upstairs to Clyde's room.

"Kenny. What's up?"

Kenny raises an eyebrow, reaching the top step and looking over his shoulder. "...Nothing, I guess?" And his expression slowly turns amused. "Aren't you suppose to ask that as a greeting?"

Clyde chuckles. "No, idiot. I mean like, what's _wrong_?"

Now Kenny's even more confused. He takes a minute to answer, occupying his time to enter the other boys' room. "What'dya mean 'what's wrong?'" Everything's okay so far for Kenny.

"You're moping."

"I'm not moping. This is my natural expression," And Kenny spins around to face Clyde, holding up his hands to his face to vogue. "I call it, 'The Bitch'."

Clyde barks a short laugh and vogue his own face. "Your 'The Bitch' can't even compete to my 'The Tramp Hoe'."

Both boys let out a boisterous laugh, trying to keep a straight face long enough to vogue and make the other laugh more.

Kenny would say a good five minutes passed before he declared his head and the sides of his stomach burned andcollaspes back-first on Clyde's bed, the latter following suit to catch their breath.

"I'm bored." Clyde says out of no where, and immediately stands back up again.

Kenny just sits up and watch quietly as Clyde makes his way to his closet. He pulls out a set of speakers and place them on his dresser, hooking his phone, which he pulls straight out of his pocket, to an attached black cord. He goes through his phone for a bit before music starts to play and Clyde turns the volume a bit louder.

And when Kenny says music, he means weird type of music that of course someone like Clyde likes.

 

**I'm the cat with the bass and drum.**   
**Goin' around like bom bom bom!**

 

And then some weird techno alternative music starts playing, and Clyde instantly starts dancing.

 

**I'm the cat with the bass and drum.**   
**Goin' around like bom bom bom!**   
**What's groovin'? I'm movin'.**   
**I like your style of wompin'.**

 

Oh _god_. Clyde can **NOT** dance. He has absolutely no rhythm whatsoever. But Clyde's obviously not putting any seriousness into his moves, because he's wearing a goofy smile, rapidly swinging his hips, waving his hands and singing along to the ridiculous lyrics sung by wha sounds like a high, deranged woman. He looks fucking dumb as hell.

But it's hilarious.

 

**How charming!**   
**Just a wrapper, load him up and eat that snapper!**   
**I want sixteen pints of rum and then I go bom bom!**

 

You know what? Fuck it. Kenny stands up and dances right along with Clyde. When Kenny dances, he likes to make sure he looks good while doing so. It woos the drunken ladies at parties alright. But this time? Nope. None of that. Kenny just flails his body around with Clyde, not caring how stupid he looks.

 

**Glowing up in the dark in the night.**   
**And so I go ooh ah ah ah ah, I--**   
**I've got a pie in my pocket,**   
**Pie in my pocket, an eye in my socket!**

 

The two are giggling messes now. When was the last time Kenny had this much fun? Oh wait, he remembers. It was the very last time he was with Clyde. And the time with Clyde after that. And before that. Kenny thought such a vibrant and upbeat person would get annoying eventually, or just burn out and become boring and predictable. But Kenny is only being pulled closer to Clyde's space. The brunette's personality is just so damn attractive compared to anyone he's met. Kenny is so use to the repetition. Eat, fuck, hang with the gang, sleep, rinse and repeat. But with Clyde there's no telling what he's doing that day.

It's positively refreshing.

 

**You got life.**   
**You got style.**   
**Me got nothing on my mind.**   
**But I'm so cool, and I'm so groovy...**   
**When I go bom bom bom!**

 

Kenny and Clyde both wild out when the electronic dance music starts to intensify. Kenny's sides hurt from dancing and laughing but he doesn't care.

Kenny doesn't really admit this very often, but he's very happy. He couldn't help but feel like this is something he's been missing out on, and how the hell hell he would go about surviving this bet if he didn't take the time to get to know who Clyde is. Kenny starts to wonder what would it all be like if Clyde was subjected to being another one of Kenny's bed mates and nothing more, just a one night stand and forgotten about. Sure, Clyde wouldn't take that with stride, but most importantly, Kenny would be missing out on so much without this goofy little troll.

Kenny's smile falters a bit. The way he worded all of that in his head made it seem as if Kenny wants more from Clyde; beyond a romp in the sheets. Kenny doesn't know how to feel about that, so he doesn't. 

The music goes on for about two minutes before it stops and both boys fall out on the floor, exhausted.

They're panting, but Kenny can hear Clyde giggle a little bit. A moment later he's giggling a lot more. Kenny smiles and giggles along with him. Soon enough, the two are breathlessly laughing out loud on the ground.

When the laughter finally dies down, Kenny feels a weird sensation. Like he's high. His body is warm and there are butterflies in his chest.

 _It's a good feeling_ , Kenny subconsciously thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is Sam and the Womp - Bom Bom Bom
> 
> You have permission to judge me on my weird music taste. (Or the lack of)
> 
> The next chapter is thankfully already typed and under editing! :^D


	21. "Stuck Between a Cliff and Something Else"

The door shuts and it's all he needs to hear to know the boy left in both a hurry and in fury.

Swirling the scotch in his hand, he makes no plans to join the outside world.

Yes, it's not his style. He doesn't chase anything -- the world will come to him instead. Like it always does. His job is done.

He downs the glass, the burning liquid sliding down his throat, barely numbing his senses.

 _Only a matter of time before everything completely explodes_ , he thinks to himself.

\----

A Saturday. The most anticipated day of the week.

But how the fuck does one spend a Saturday??

Kenny found himself in that exact dilemma. Ever since the bet, he's noticed he have a TON of free time on his hands. Not that with Clyde there's nothing to do -- They just danced in his room for a good half hour. But after that…

“...Now what?” Kenny pants, twisting his body to release the tension in his joints.

Clyde just smiles, panting even more than Kenny is, and grabs his shoes, leaving Kenny silently watching.

“Come on.” The brunette simply calls, and he leaves the room. As Kenny slips on his own sneakers, he wonders what's going on, and where they're going.

 

He joins Clyde downstairs, the scent of breakfast still lingering in the air and the slight chill in the air seeping in the living room from the wide open door.

“Where we going?” Kenny asks, zipping his parka.

But Clyde only shrugs and dangles car keys in Kenny's face, a small grin on his face.

“I got somewhere we can go.”

\----

Somehow, Clyde's dad rusty ass SUV gets the pair safely away from the main town street and onto the familiar dirt road leading to Stark’s Pond. Kenny smiles warmly at the memories that start to come through, of him and his three best friends walking a good hour from school to the pond, some times stopping by their dingy tree house to sit and chill with Cartman's snacks. They'd play in the pond in the summer and ice skate on their sneakers in the winter.

Kenny wonders if the gang wouldn't mind revisiting Stark’s. Just not to act like total fucktards messing with the ice, but maybe just to walk around and just talk. It's been too long, way before middle school, since they've had any fun, just the four of them. They were all friends with each other first, and even though they all have their own circles now, it won't hurt to hang with each other again. Just like old times.

Yeah, Kenny would like that very much.

Although he was deep in his reminiscing, Kenny wasn't too preoccupied to not notice Clyde is taking a wrong turn. If Kenny remembers correctly, it's that suspicious blueberry bush (that got Cartman diarrhea for a hilarious four weeks) that indicates a left turn, not a right.

“Clyde…?” Kenny questions, looking over from the passenger's seat to look at said person, who's too busy staring intently on the road. Surely he realizes his mistake. “You made a wrong turn dude.”

Clyde barely shakes his head. “We're not going to Stark’s.”

Before Kenny could even open his mouth to question, Clyde answers. “Back in middle school, me, Tweek, Token, and Craig use to play around in the woods a lot. One time I got lost all the way down here…”

Kenny looks out the window at the unfamiliar terrain. The forestry starts to slowly dissipate, giving way to more rocks and tamer flowers.

Clyde slows the car down and tilts it to park diagonally, turning the ignition off and leading Kenny out the car with him. “We're here.”

Kenny shoves his hands in his pockets and takes in the somewhat distant view in front of him...which isn't much. Just some plain shrubbery on the sidelines and matted grass that subtly pans out to a narrow rocky terrain path that leads right over an edge.

"Why'd you bring me here?" Kenny asks curiously. He bit back asking what made this place so special to Clyde, because he didn't want to inadvertently insult him.

Clyde spins around with a huge grin, pointing towards the cliff. "Sit with me. On the edge."

Kenny scoffs. “Dangling half our bodies right off a cliff?”, but he's silently starting to worry. Although it comes about rare these days as he got older, he hasn't died in a while, and it'd be just his luck to come face first to the ground beyond the cliff.

As Clyde walks closer to the edge, Kenny opens his mouth to voice his concerns, but whatever Kenny was about to say died in his throat when he reaches the cliff as well. Below is South Park, it's multicolored and irregular shaped buildings giving it life as the rising sun gleams off of every window, every car, every street lamp. The snow piled on top of everything does not subtract from its stunning beauty. In fact, the white powder complements the vibrant oranges, reds, greens and blues.

And the fact that no other living soul is up and about makes the view seem like a still life painting, only the chilly wind and occasional flock of birds reminding Kenny that he's apart of this beauty everyday, his entire life, for seventeen years, and never knew until now.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Clyde's soft voice is enough to break the silence.

Kenny wants to say it looks more than pretty. Something along the lines of ' _breathtaking_ '. But Kenny doesn't trust his voice to do much of anything right now, so he safely breathes out a simple, "Yeah."

The two sit on the jagged cliff edge that stands about twenty feet tall over a large body of water, deep enough to call it a part of the ocean that curves around the tall cliff and away from South Park.

After a small moment of letting the birds chirp in conversation, Clyde sighs. "I got lost and found this,” Clyde says, and Kenny realizes quickly that he's continuing his earlier story. “It was absolutely stunning to me. I almost just stayed up here all night, until I eventually found my way back home. Now, I like to come up here when I'm sad."

Kenny looks over at Clyde, wondering what he thought about up here.

"Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I scream. But mostly I just sit here and watch everyone else wake up and carry on with their day." Clyde pauses again, but this time as if he's considering continuing. Kenny tries to read Clyde's face, but the once 'easy to read like an open book Clyde' isn't there. Clyde is completely blank-faced. So Kenny waits. He refuses to pressure Clyde into talking about personal shit with him. He can wait.

Clyde takes in a slow breath. "And I just think to myself, 'Here I am, feeling all sorry for myself and acting like a pussy while everyone else is moving forward'. And then I...I get...I get really scared..." Another pause. "...like I'm being left behind." And he swallows loudly.

Kenny doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know Clyde like some others do-- at least on a more personal level. He doesn't know what Clyde's going through. But Kenny can surely tell anyone what Bebe or Kyle, or hell, even what Butters is going through. But not Clyde. Kenny just doesn't understand Clyde sometimes.

But somehow, he can kinda understand him now, as cryptic as he's being. Kenny use to feel that way too, when he was younger. He was the only one who knew he died everyday. He was the only one that seemed to care. He use to savor the times when he gets noticed, when Stan and Kyle yell out he's dead and call the perpetrator a bastard. But it got old quick. He tried so hard to get them to realize he's dying, and doesn't know when his last day will be, if he even has one.

But it was all in vain, he began to notice.

And Kenny eventually _gave up._

He was fine with being the odd man out. The last wheel. _Left behind._

Kenny wants to tell Clyde all of this, but what if that's not what he meant? Kenny hates it when others try to override their misery when someone is trying to confide in him, so why should Kenny do the same?

So he doesn't.

Instead, Kenny listens.

"It's..." Clyde finds his voice, but it's cracking and dying down to a whisper. He brings his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs, and Kenny thinks it's a pathetic way to hide that he's shaking. "It's just _lonely_."

Kenny knows the feeling. But he solved that by just accepting it and moving on. But he knows Clyde isn't like Kenny. Kenny couldn't picture Clyde sleeping around with anything living just to fix problems.

"What about Craig?" Kenny asks.

Clyde's mouth slowly forms a half smile, but Kenny knows better than to think it's genuine. "I dunno. It's complicated. Craig isn't the type of guy that has a lot of empathy to be throwing around, y’know?"

Yeah, Kenny knows.

"You wanna talk about it?" Although they were technically talking about it --whatever 'it' was -- but Kenny feels that there is more to this talk than Clyde's letting on.

Kenny stands up, Clyde looking up with an eyebrow slightly raised. He gestures for him or stand as well, and Clyde obeys.

Kenny has a fucking insane and idiotic idea.

"Can you swim?"

This one line clogs Kenny's throat, even though he said it himself. Clyde blinks at him and slowly nods.

“What, are we going to the pool later? Because if so, it's gotta be --” but Clyde's speech abruptly stops when he glances down at the water below, and he quickly shoots his head up to meet Kenny's eyes, his own widening in realization. “...Kenny…?”

"Clyde..." Kenny responds, and tightens his grip on Clyde's hand. "You're not afraid, are you?"

Personally, Kenny should be asking himself this. Because e is very much afraid, and is clueless as to why he has the urge to jump off a fucking twenty feet cliff.

Now Clyde's visibly panicking, but still tightening his grip on Kenny's hand. “Don't you dare fucking let me go, you crazy asshole.”

Kenny smiles, and before the wind completely knocks the air out of him, he says:

" _Trust me."_

And he leaps.

\----

Kenny pushes himself to the surface of the water and breathes in a well earned truck load of air.

What's this overwhelming feeling in his stomach? Oh wait, nevermind. It's adrenaline. But why?

Oh, nevermind again. He only fell fucKING TWENTY FEET OFF A CLIFF INTO A BODY OF WATER.

Not that he could complain. It was his own idea. And he survived too.

"Clyde??" Kenny yells, it's original tone is suppose to be anger, but all that comes out is worry. He--

**"BOO!"**

Kenny jumps, and let's out a less than manly scream as he twirls around to see a soaken Clyde laughing at Kenny's expense.

"Ahaha! Y-you should've s-seen your -- haha! --  _face_!" The asshole laughs out, and Kenny frowns as the reasoning behind his stupid idea to jump off the cliff clicks in his brain.

Damn, he wanted to surprise Clyde with something new. All this time they've spent together, Kenny remained flabbergasted at Clyde's actions and ways to having fun. And Kenny wanted that element of surprise as well.

Too bad it kinda backfired.

“I thought you'd be more pissy that I dragged you off a cliff than this…” Kenny mutters bitterly.

Clyde just shrugs. "I do this all the time. I was just nervous because i never jumped off with someone attached to me. It wasn't even that high."

Kenny furrows his eyebrows at the truth. Yeah, when he looks back at the cliff it looks like it could touch heaven, but it isn't really much. He was only in the air for seconds, and Kenny heard of longer feats.

"Whatever..." Kenny grumbles, which prompts Clyde to laugh hysterically and push back brown soaked curls of his hair.

"C'mon. Let's get out. It's freezing."  
Now that all of Kenny's adrenaline is waning, he can feel the water bite his skin through his clothes. Not a nice feeling, no, so he nods and follows in a swim behind Clyde to the shore that's closer to South Park than it is to the cliff.

Halfway through their quiet swim, Kenny perks at a sudden question in his head. “What about the car?”

“Meh,” Clyde shrugs up water over his shoulders. “I'll get it later. Dad doesn't mind too much, especially on his off work days.”

They finally reach the shores of South Park beach, no one in sight. Man, some times Kenny, and pretty much everyone in Colorado, takes summer for granted. Because once it's gone, it's like they'll never see it again.

“What're we doing now?” Kenny asks, but really, does he have to at this point? The two stride along, slightly thankful there's no one around to critique the fact that they are fully soaked and clothed at the beach. 

“I dunno. You have anything in mind?”

Kenny muses for a moment until they reach the lower part Main Street and away from the sandy beach.

“Well, we're not too far from Stan's…” Kenny looks over at Clyde. “If you don't mind, of course.”

“Stanley’s one of your few friends I can tolerate, honestly,” Clyde states and smiles. “I don't mind.”

\----

A few minutes after the arranged time, Kyle finally bolts right through Stan's bedroom door, huffing and shaking off snow from his ushanka. He silently hand Stan a promised vanilla shake and sit across from him on his bed, sipping at his half drunken chocolate shake.

“How's Shelly?”

Stan snorts. “I know as much as you do. After she left for college, she barely talked to us.”

“Mhm. And your parents?”

“Batshit insane, as per usual.”

“Ah. That's good.”

“What about Ike?”

“A shitty kid. Absolutely terrifying to hang out with. Acts a lot like mom at times.”

“So in other words, he's doing okay?”

“Yep.”

An air of silence builds over them.

“You gonna tell me or are we gonna keep having small talk…?” Stan whispers. He still worrying, though, about what happened. He can barely enjoy his shake, let alone remember how it tastes.

Kyle scratches the back of his head, a gesture Stan knows all too well that let's him know that Kyle's either super embarrassed or nervously terrified.

“You...promise you won't freak out?”

_Uh oh._

“...Yeah…”

Kyle bites his bottom lip absently and drifts his view down to the ground, then back up again with a carefully place mask over his face.

“I...think I slept with Cartman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruuuuh.
> 
> BRUHH.
> 
> Things are getting heeaaavy.
> 
> Back from a break. I had mad exams for a long ass time. EOC, PSAT and ASVAB is no joke bruh.
> 
> //silently hopes I passed
> 
> But I'm back! And my brain is juiced back up for this story!
> 
> I'm not backing down until the very fucking end! No matter HOW LONG IT TAKES ME!!!
> 
> Whatever...


	22. "Checking Up and Spilling Secrets"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a tiny little chapter to kind of transition and place in the events that I soon want to happen. It's an important chapter, yes, but nothing really addresses what happened last chapter. Just trying to catch up on old news. :)
> 
> Happy reading! :D

"Hello?"

_"Hey."_

"Oh..." Tweek's face slowly melts into a smile when he hears Clyde. Finally someone he can somewhat tolerate and doesn't get him anxious other than Token. It's been difficult trying to ignore his phone when Craig calls. "Hey Clyde."

 _"It's been awhile, huh?"_ And Clyde laughs, but it sounds more nervous than anything. And the background sounds a bit windy. Is he walking outside?  _"How ya doing?"_

Tweek shrugs, but it takes him a while to realize Clyde can't see that. He takes a seat in the quiet living room of his grandparents cabin, grateful that his old folks are out fishing together, giving him as much privacy as he can get. "So far so good, I think. I haven't even been drinking that much caffeine lately. Thanks to grandma she makes sure I get less and less of it every week."

_"Aww, dude, that's awesome. Glad you're doing good and making some progress."_

"Yeah. I may get to come home soon, in fact. By then I'll be coffee-free." Tweek beams from ear to ear, proud of himself. Ever since his parents announced he was going to live with his grandparents in Kentucky three months ago, he was both elated and angry. On one hand, Tweek could finally take a break from the crazy and overwhelming life in Colorado...and from Craig...but on the other hand, the whole purpose was a kind of private rehabilitation from Tweek's dependence on coffee. Of course he objected the decision, being both embarrassed and confused, but his anger towards Craig and his douchebag attitude at the time was enough to completely drive Tweek away.

 _"Ahh, that's right, huh? Well, I can't wait for you to come back. So much has happened, it's been crazy, like it always is,"_ Tweek could hear Clyde sigh on the other side, and a rather long pause of silence. _"You know he misses you, right?"_

Tweek's earlier smile slowly melts to a frown. "Dude..."

_"I know I know, touchy subject, I know. But you're coming back soon, and Craig is gonna be here. I just wanna make sure you'll be alright and can handle all of that, coupled with the stirred up drama and shit lately."_

Tweek takes a moment to consider his choice of words. Any other time, when he was hooked on caffeine, he would've been panicking and having a nervous breakdown. But he's a new person now.

"I'm a new person now," Tweek reiterates his thoughts. "It'll be hard, but I think I'll be okay. I can't hold it against Craig for this long. We were...never together in the first place."

_"...That's true, but you two really cared about each other. Still do."_

Tweek decides not to comment on that, and instead waits for Clyde to continue.

_"Uhm, well, I was just calling to check up on you, you know, and also give you a heads up -- I promised Craig I would have a serious talk with you, but some things are happening at the moment, so I'll call back once the day's over, okay?"_

And once again, Tweek's smile returns and he nods in affirmation. Of course Clyde thought of Tweek and how he handles things. Clyde giving Tweek a quick warning that he has to have a conversation that'll more than likely create a lot of pressure on Tweek only just reminds the blond boy of how awesome his friends are. They care.

"Yep, okay, but what's happening?"

Clyde scoffs. _"Dude, you missed so much. I can't tell you right now because I'm almost at Stan's, but let's just say, shit hit the fan and splattered everywhere."_

Clyde has always had an interesting way of explaining things, but this one made Tweek laugh. Man, he really misses his friends! Now he's just bouncing for his opportunity to get back as soon as possible! He wants to join back on the fun they use to have -- the amazing adventures and stuff. And...wait...

"...'Almost as Stan's'?" Tweek's voice raises an octave at the news when it finally hits him across the face. "Since when were you 'almost at Stan's'?"

_"Again, insane few days. Even more crazy; I'm really good friends with Kenny and we jumped off a cliff not even ten minutes ago."_

_The perfect fool, I'll say,_ thinks Tweek as Clyde then goes on and on about the loads of fun he and Kenny has had since Tweek's been away. 

And really, all he can muse on is the fact that Clyde sounds like a schoolgirl with a crush. Adorable, if he does say so himself.

\----

Wendy kicks up the snow and immediately mumbles her regret in doing so. She tries to shake her boot, but it only makes the snow slide even further down her socks.

"Well lookie here, what a pleasant surprise I'd find you here!"

Oh God, is he really here... Wendy bitterly thinks as she looks up and there he is, flesh and bone and fucking obnoxious, Eric Cartman.

"Fuck off, Cartman. I'm having a bad day."

Said boy bats his eyelashes and clasps his hands together in feign innocence. "Aww, little ol' me? If anything, I would think you'd be interested in what I have to say~."

Wendy rolls her eyes and mentally maps out her escape and excuse. Really, who **anticipates** what **Cartman** has to say? "Whatever. Go crawl in a hole somewhere because I don't _care_." And she starts her walk down the sidewalk she was on in the first place, planning on visiting Red for a bit and thank GOD Cartman doesn't move to follow.

But he does call after her. _Like a goddamn dog,_ Wendy thinks with scorn.

"Oh I dunno about that! Especially considering what Kenny and Bebe had to say about you."  


Now _that_ made her pause in stride and spin around. She stops right in front of Cartman with a frown and her arms crossed. "Okay. You got my attention. Spill."  
  
Cartman only smirks. "But I thought I should crawl in a hole! I thought you didn't care!"

"Shut up and just tell me!" Wendy almost cringes to her own oxymoron, but she knows how dumb Cartman is so she doesn't say anything to shine light on it. If anything, the last thing she needs is a fucking critic.  
  
The boy smiles even wider and shrugs. "It's nothing special. Just overheard Kenny and Bebe talking. Something I'm sure she wants to keep private."  
  
This is all... _familiar_ to Wendy. The distant behavior Bebe had towards Wendy started their fight the other day. Wendy is still in the dark about it, and the fact that she hasn't seen Bebe since the little quarrel at the party and that Kenny knows something bothers her to no end.

It's like their friendship doesn't even exist.

"Ring a bell?" Cartman sings, but it doesn't resonate with Wendy well.

"How do you...even know, and I don't?" She asks.

Cartman wiggles a bit playfully. "Like I said, I overheard~. Have you really been blind to everything these past couple days?" Wendy pouts, but nods anyway.

"Well then," Cartman muses, gesturing for Wendy to follow him in the opposite direction. "I guess we have an overdue gossip talk?"

Finally, answers. Even though it's Eric Cartman and he's the master of manipulation, he wouldn't lie about rumors. He lies to get his way, yes, but he's also the type of psycho to get to the bottom of things and learn the truth for himself. If Wendy can somehow pull that from him, she'll finally have the upper hand knowledge she's been craving all this time. She'll finally know where she stands, where everyone else is going and doing, and what in the world is happening around her in general.  
  
No better time than to start now.

\----

Sitting in Cartman's new truck is beyond uncomfortable. It's cool that his mom could get him a automobile, but it's really not needed unless he had a job. But Wendy doesn't care too much -- she wants answers to her questions, not just more questions with no answers.

"Okay, so first start off with what Bebe's hiding. Then, fill me in on anything about Stan." Wendy starts as soon as Cartman jumps in the truck on the driver's side as she sat next to him in the passenger's. Seriously, she has to make an effort to ignore the damp and mundane colored surroundings of the inside of the truck.

"Well, before I say, It'd be reasonable to answer my question first, right?"

Ah. The catch. There it is. Wendy still frowns in spite of her already knowing this was coming. But she decides to play her cards and play them right. "Okay, what do you wanna know?"  
Cartman smirks and leans in a bit, making Wendy's blood pressure rise.

"It's not what I wanna know, it's what I want from you," He says with a sly tone. "I want something from you that you may or may not wanna do. But if you do, let's just say everything you've wanted will happen, no question. All I need is your alliance." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daaaamn. 
> 
> On a lighter note, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you all had a great 2016 as I did. This story is nowhere finished, but I promise you it'll never be discontinued. The constant and amazing love and support I receive is nothing less than the perfect gift, and the least I can do is deliver to the best of my quality what I have started. 
> 
> I will do my best not to fail you all. I love you all and I hope you get lots of fucking awesome presents yo.
> 
> ~nately ♥


End file.
